Thank you

There used to be a system where editors had their own number so you knew who had given the cherry. I read your piece Joe and I thought it was fruit well deserved. I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work. Generally, the sentiment here is any self-mention except in response if someone else flags your work is not a great idea but I have no problem with self-flagging and in your case you're not really self-flagging anyway. Well done again on your first cherry! jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

Many people say thanks after the first cherry, me included. Well done, and future cherries feel just as good! Lisa

http://www.abctales.com/node/555827 Hey joe, I really liked this story. I thought it was dark and funny and original. I thought some of the dialogue really cracking, although it is fair to say I was a little freaked out by how similar some of it was to the way I write. I loved the descriptions and the main character himself, and Rachel was lovely. I liked the Star Trek stuff too, and the random rants about things from your main character and his brother (like the Holodeck bit, which I found funny). I thought there was a risk, ending it like you did, that it could be seen a bit like 'it was all a dream', but I think you wavered just the right side of that. For his father to be a threat I would have liked to see more than the quick oral sex scene between him and Rachel... it was too little too late. I would have liked to see them have a conversation - an imagined conversation actually, considering the whole story takes place in Graeme's imagination - that really showed the threat of the forked tongue. Oh, and you spelt Graeme Graham once towards the end. And there are three paragraphs that are stuck together. Nice job though. Post some more stuff on please.

Nice one Joe. You've got a knack for the old dialogue. Some excellent one-liners. I think Fergal was right to flag up the ending. However, I didn't quite go with it myself, for the following (hopefully flattering) reason: I know it's not a strictly realist story, but you'd done quite a job of creating convincing characters. Therefore, the ending kind of pulled the rug out from under me, because it wasn't convincing. It was like you'd switched genres. I cared about those guys and wanted to know what happened. "He's got a forked tongue" was my favourite line. Do you ever do radio plays and stuff? Well done mate.

Very much enjoyed, i laughed out loud in places, i particularly liked the conversations with his father. You create wonderful characters with a distinctive voice, and the plot is original and clever. Your attention to detail is wonderful e.g. her three spots covered in foundation. i cringed at that :) But i have to agree about the end scene it is not needed and spoils a witty and imspired plot. I look forward to more of your writing. Juliet