Two stonking 200 word stories

I thought I ought to be the first to comment, seeing as I raised so many hackles about 200-worders! I particularly liked Sniper's piece. Mark's right about the form. I think I'm starting to understand this 200 word thing now.

Maddan's Piece: I'd like it better broken up. The one big paragraph looks like a spill of words. I liked the repitition of Ahab, and took it for something similar to what was described in the other thread - it was as if he were trying to convince himself. Confusing: In the first line, you made it sound like everyone drowned. In the last, you said they were swimming for their lives. I could just be over-reading the first line. The last line was great. Sniper's Piece: This one was spaced out perfect, and told an interesting tale in a vidid way. The dialect is mostly pulled of, and that's something hard to do. I wondered why the narrator didn't go up with the other men. And this - 26 men went up, but 30 women were left lonely - a bit of polygamy? In the end, I felt like I had been told a joke - and I laughed.

Foster, you took the words right out of my mouth. Although, I thought Sniper's was more on the spooky side, and I was left wondering if the drunk had killed them all. I also counted the women and thought the same! As for Maddan's. I liked the deepness of his, and it really needs some spacing. The combo of deep words and a thick para is a bit hard on the comprehension. Both well flagged and worth a read.