West of Burton - mark 2
Sun, 2007-03-18 17:38
#1
West of Burton - mark 2
Hi, under advisement from many parties I have done a re-write of this piece.
http://www.abctales.com/story/phil-harvey/west-burton
I would be most greatful for comments. This is about the 5th major revision or this story.
Kindnesses.
Phil.
Ah, Shucks.
No further response or comment anew.
have a rubbish poem (that is nothing like the linked story at all - in quality or content) as punishment (or encouragement) :
Snow doth fall as winter decends in
march over the land of Twali't Ul'maar.
The gnome of ice and wind scooped his
fill from the rivers and oceans to vomit
fourth the crystal flakes and expell
the winds from his copious haunches.
The beasts of earth and sky do cower
and be cowed by the mighty power of
the falling snow. The trees, confused
in march - their previous season of bloom,
hold back their flower and fruit of day
til warmer air is belched forth.
The land is barren in April/June, no
fruit doth fall or tubor swell.
Beans on stalks lie shrivelled and bleak.
No winter more, and sunless march.
If you didn't like that, then you will probably like the newest version of 'West of Burton'.