Foster - thoughts from Abyss

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Thu, 2006-01-26 13:30

http://www.abctales.com/story/foster/thoughts-from-abyss

I like the narrator of this - he is an interesting character - funny, not always on purpose. I like the misunderstandings between him and the passengers... the interactions too. I like the bit with the kid and the mother. I like the tone.

I could imagine a longer piece with this narrator.

Nice work.

Thu, 2006-01-26 14:40

Foster

thanks for your comments, fergal. i'm glad you found the bus driver interesting because he's me...but i'm also the eight o'clocker - its a very personal piece, believe it or not. thank you for flagging it up.

Thu, 2006-01-26 14:44

fergal

Maybe that is why he rings true - but I think you have stepped back from it enough to create him as a separate 'character' from yourself, and that is partly why it works. Sometimes when people base a character on themselves the temptation is to make oneself a complete hero, or a complete villain, or a complete failure. The thing I like about this piece is that the narrator is human - not perfect. And laughs at his others, and himself, while the same time trying to keep himself sane. I hope you write some more for him.

Thu, 2006-01-26 20:04

Juliet OC

the title put me off reading this initially, still don't like it after reading it - though not sure what i would call it except 'move to the back' (not v. original) But i loved the story, the bus drivers character is so real, and the setting vivid, it was a pleasure to read and very satisfying. ty Juliet

Juliet

Thu, 2006-01-26 20:13

Foster

i'm glad you liked the story, juliet. the title......okay, i'll give it away. it was merely a case of me, an only marginally clever person, trying to be clever: thoughts from abyss = thoughts from "a bus" (which is where the story takes place). a stretch, i know. not sure if you'll like it any better now, but its at least an explanation. i always have so much trouble titling my pieces - i once started a thread on this topic hoping for help.

Thu, 2006-01-26 20:30

southern belle

An excellent story Foster, I liked it a lot. You created a very interesting character, who seemed very real and true to life. Funny at times, but not because he's trying to be. A very interesting enjoyable read. ^_^

Thu, 2006-01-26 22:14

Foster

Iâ€™m pleased you enjoyed this little piece, Ms Belle. Thank you very much for your comments. Also to you, Juliet â€“ thank you.

Fri, 2006-01-27 13:53

Juliet OC

yeah i get the pun now, thanks, still not sure, but maybe its my accent. Bus and byss sound very disimilar to me, maybe you say bus more like bis? Anyway doesn't detract from the fact that the story is great. Juliet

Juliet

Fri, 2006-01-27 14:33

Foster

no, juliet, its not your accent - it was a stretch and i knew this, but i was still kinda proud of it. by the way, a bit of history, repeating was very well titled, i thought. well written, too.

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