What I'm tyring to say is

If you post a link I'll take a look. In the meantime, why not check out some of the flagged pieces on here today and give some feedback? There are some corkers.

Edgar, people usually say that flagging your own work is very bad form....but this is an exception. I'd be running round showing everyone I'd written this if it were me, I love it. This is the best piece I've read in aaaages. Give this story of the week, please Tony. http://www.abctales.com/node/548582 Enzo.. www.thedevilbetweenus.com

depressingly delicious. Juliet

I don't think flagging your own work is bad form if you want feedback. I try to respond to every person who flags their own work. This was good. Especially the last line. It was bleak, and funny, and odd. And I've never read anything quite like it.

That is class. It does a hell of a lot in a short period and manipulates stereotypes sufficiently that the characters have some depth. I would like this to be story of the week too. Never gonna happen. "tell me something you've never told me before." I love it.

By the way, I'm a massive fan of writing speech in that way...I've no idea what it's called but I know it's pretty much what happens in Spanish literature. I tried it myself once but I went a bit dialogue heavy and it didn't work out. It works so well here, though. Anyway, small point but I think these sentences need sorting: "Jack related in full the details has he knew them or has he recalled them. " "Everyday is should be a holiday" I only say that because I love this so much I'd like to see it flawless...and it so nearly is... Enzo.. www.thedevilbetweenus.com

And the last line is really good. Kind of Vonnegut-y. No need for 'The End' though. Sorry, it just seemed a shame.

I'm a bit too squeamish for this type of writing, although I liked the play of perspectives, the changing 'angles'. Not sure about the ending, however. I think I felt that I didn't care much for either of the characters, so the ending was like, well, so what, was that it? I realise it ties in with the first paragraph and whatnot; it's a cleanly written piece, but to be honest, I just didn't like it. Not from a personal perspective. Good writing, though! *smiles sheepishly*

Kinda reminded me of the movie "crash" - (the first one - there were two, loved them both). like fergal said, i've never read anything like it, but would definitely give it serous thought for sow. great lines, vivid images, well presented. and welcome to abc - i hope you'll be posting more.

Yes - Crash came to mind at first, so I wasn't really interested until the second paragraph... I look forward to seeing more of this writer's work.