A Beautiful Find/Cash Crop by Silver Spun Sand

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Thu, 2006-09-21 15:11

Nice ones, both - and both expressing a similar sentiment. Beauty's what you see it as being. The old barn contains what's just, really, rubbish - but it's so much more. It's history, and character, and suggestion. And there's so much more that can be said about it than about what's about to replace it all.
I'm not THAT old, but I often feel like Laurie Lee when I go back to the West Country, where I grew up, and see what just the last 20 years have done: the cloned new houses, the closed-down farms, the loss of local culture. Sad stuff.
I like these two poems very much. Thanks.

Thu, 2006-09-21 17:03

poetjude

I really enjoyed Cash Crop. Some wonderful images but perhaps a little too many. In places it seems a little like over-egging the pudding. I think it could be thinned down in places to give the poem a bit of breathing space. For example, chewed into scraps by marauding field-mice and rats. I actually think would be better without the second line, simply chewed into scraps. However this is very rich coming from somebody who is usually guilty as hell for over packing her poems! jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

Fri, 2006-09-22 15:14

Silver Spun Sand

Food for thought certainly, poetjude - thanks so much for your valued input on this one. Thanks as well to alan benefit, whose richly eloquent description of my poem was better, almost, than the real thing! Silver Spun Sand :-)

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