Would like some feedback on Crime Story 1 & 2.

Magg, I don't have any critisims per se, but I am unclear as to the source of antipathy between your heroine and the policeman. What is she doing that annoys him? Why did she leave the force? You might want to elaborate a bit for the reader's edification. I didn't get the reason why one case(named) had been treated fairly and another failed by the system.That might be helpful if you developed that as well. Overall, the dialogue flows nicely. You have the chaarcters, and elements of the story, in place (I have only read Part I so far.)A little polish and this piece will shine up nicely. I made a few grammatical changes,in part one, that I think might help out.I include them below. Vaya Con Dios J.X.M “ So where have you been?” Derek asked as I was about to open my front door. I was surprised. I hadn’t expected to see him today. ‘Derek! Hi!’ I smiled. ‘Thought I would go and do a little research at Tottenham library....’ ‘Research eh?’he asked, amused. ‘But I was also just about to go to Nando’s, in Wood Green, and grab a bite to eat. Want to come?’ ‘Why not?’ he replied, wearing a curious grin on his face. I unlocked my car and we got in. Derek Evans is a copper at the Haringey police station where I used to work.He has become my friend and confidant. He’s also a good guy who likes me more than I deserve. At the back of his mind, I know he hopes for something more. But, after the latest episode with Vince, another relationship was not what I wanted right now. It is a shame. Derek seemed positive about what I wanted to do, yet I wasn’t interested. It was also annoying. When you tell yourself it’s all over, your feelings are busy doing something else, yet my feelings for Vince are still with me. ‘So what’s been happening? You’ve been quiet for these past few days.’He said. Wood Green High Street was still busy even in the late afternoon. We parked, got out of the car and strolled amongst the busy shoppers, making our way to Nando’s. I told Derek about the phone calls, but excluded talk about the break up with Vince. ‘Well that’s great Marcia. I quite like Linton’s column....’ ‘…You like his column, despite what he says about the police?’ I inquired. Derek swept his jacket over his shoulder, holding onto the collar with his thumb. He is just over six foot, light skin in complexion, and sports a flat top hair style. When he is out of uniform, he wears faded jeans and casual shirts. Depending on the weather, he wears jackets to match. He turned his head, facing the other side of the road, pretending that something had caught his attention. ‘Even when I used to work, it wasn’t as bad as all that’He said. Derek turned his head and raising his brow in that self-righteous way that I find so annoying. ‘What!?’ I stopped in the middle of my stride and watched him. Sometimes, I wondered which side of the fence Derek is on. Derek, my friend, is yet ever so suspicious of my thinking when it comes to the community. I am always wary that I might one day unwittingly say something untoward,while with him. ‘It is pretty bad Marcia, unless you’ve conveniently forgotten.’ But things have improved. It is thanks to writers like Linton who are needed to provoke debate on the issues....’ He leaned his face closer to mine, with his eyes widening by the second, ‘.. we need people like that, he said earnestly. ‘And Dennard Chris, I s’pose he didn’t get what he deserved.’ I responded, making sure I didn’t blink. ‘Of course he did! But there are other instances where the system has totally failed.’ He answered, irritated. ‘Don’t think I don’t understand Derek. Remember, I left the force because I could only go so far. But it’s a little strange that you’re still there. I mean, if you feel that it’s so corrupt, then why don’t you leave?’ It was my turn to raise an eyebrow and wear a half smile. Derek, somebody who could not be easily provoked, turned to me. ‘Because, I do believe in the law. I think it’s right that I am in the police force. I think I can make a difference making sure that the law is applied fairly and squarely.’ I smiled, teasing him, telling him that whenever he decides to run as MP for Tottenham, he had my vote. He nodded his head and gave me an unconvincing smile, probably because he felt I wasn’t taking him seriously. ‘Anyway, anyway, I don’t think we came here to argue. I just think it’s good that he wants to interview you.’ ‘And that is the only reason why I’ll do it.’ He shrugged his shoulders and gave me a weary smile. I responded likewise, not wanting to dampen our meal. As we approached the entrance to Nando’s, he stood aside to let me go through the door. It took a few minutes before we reached the counter, decided which meals we wanted and gave our order. We then sat in our seats and watched the parade of people milling in and out of the restaurant. Eventually, our orders were brought to us. ‘I’m full of support for you Marcia,’ Derek said suddenly. ‘But you shouldn’t think that if I feel you’re wrong I won’t say something.’ I remained quiet eating and taking in the activities around us. ‘So what about the other phone call?’ I told him what had happened and when I would meet Mrs. Wright. ‘That sounds great Marcia. If you need any help, anything, just let me know. ‘No probs.’ I smiled to myself tucking into the spicy chicken. It must have been after eight when we left. The High street seemed a lot busier. Last minute shoppers mingled with others looking for the street to provide them some action. I drove back to my road, where Derek had parked his car, further down the street. As we made our goodbyes, Derek mentioned that he had enjoyed the evening. He said that hoped we could do it again. ‘We’ll see.’ I told him, smiling impishly. ‘And let me know how you get on with your first customer,’ he said. He was deliberately, and annoyingly, ignoring my indifference to the likely hood of our next meeting. I muttered to myself, complaining as I closed the door behind me, of how dark the entranceway was. The darness was deeper because the downstairs light was not working. Carefully, I climbed the stairs, at the same time trying to separate the entry key from the door key in my handbag. After several attempts, I managed to slot the right key into the door. Fatigue crawled over me even though the hour wasn't late. If I wanted to be fresh and alert, for my meeting with Mrs.Wright, then I needed an early night. But there was one more thing I needed to do. That iss to call Linton. After several rings he answered. I told him that I agreed to do the interview and asked if we could we do the interview tomorrow afternoon. ‘Let me check my diary.’ He said. I waited, listening to him flick through the pages of his book. After a brief pause, he agreed. His voice had that familiar tone to it, a touch of ease, as though he had always known me. We agreed to meet at 2:30 P.M. at my place. The next morning,the alarm from my mobile jolted me out of my sleep with a start. It felt like I had received an electric shock. The screen of my mobile flashed 7:30am. It was too early for me. I staggered out of the bed and into the bathroom. On my way, I switched on the radio, so I that could hear the early morning news. I stared at the mirror. The bleary image in the mirror stared back at me. I usually keep my hair in braids. For the moment the virgin hair had paved its way, making me look dishevelled. My complexion can be described as a rich coffee in color. I think I could look a lot better if I paid more attention to the break out of spots, something that was happening more frequently. I was 35 years old and 5ft. 7in. in height. I kept a tight rein on my weight and made sure that I stayed even at 11 stones. Even with this attention, my stomach looked sometimes like I carried an extra spare tyre. As I scrubbed my face, I could hear the announcer, on the radio, reading stories about the increase in gun crime, and the decrease in drug related activities in the capital. The bright spot was that the weather was going to be good today. I hoped that the rest of my day would follow suit.