Any ideas on how to write a one sided phone conversation?
Ihave been planning this story forever. I want to start it with a one sides phone conversation to illustrate what a back-biting arrogant piece of shit the MC is, but I never feel satisfied with the layout. Ive tried putting it into paragraphs and like a script (below), but I don't know if there is a 'proper' way to do it.
Does anybody know the correct format.
This is the way I wrote it:
------------
‘Yes, Chief Inspector, I know exactly where you’re coming from, Chief Inspector. That’s why I want to go down to the library and interview that sneaky little toilet cleaner myself sir I—.
Yes, I know he’s the janitor. No, I didn’t mean disrespect, it’s just a figure of speech.
Yes, Chief Inspector, we must be professional, Chief Inspector.
Yes sir, I know Alders interviewed him yesterday, but—.
Yes, you’re right Chief Inspector: Detective Constable Alders.
Yes sir, but I don’t think—.
Do you think so Chief inspector?
Yes, I know he has a degree, but that’s not the same as nineteen years experience in the CID I—.
Yes, Chief Inspector it’s that long. Anyway, I don’t think Detective Alders has his mind on things.’
‘ . . . You haven’t heard about his wife?
No, Chief Inspector I’m not gossiping, I thought you knew. Chief Constable James O’Shea knew, he told me last week, sir.
What’s that? Well, we’ve known each other a long time. Jim was my sergeant when I first joined the force, sir.
Didn’t you, sir? Well, your new around here aren’t you, Chief Inspector. I’ve worked with a lot of policemen who’ve climbed up the ladder – and quite a few who’ve fallen off it.
Why do I want to interview him? Well – I’m repeating myself here, Chief Inspector – in my nineteen years experience, I would say Detective Constable Alders didn’t make a fully comprehensive job of the interview.
Really sir, you think so? And you read the report?
Oh no, sir. I’m not suggesting you didn’t read it, Chief Inspector, but with you being so busy I—.
Oh, do you, sir? That’s a very professional attitude.
So, you don’t think it’s necessary . . . hmm. Well, Jim thought it was a good idea, that’s why I—.
Yes, the Chief Constable.
This morning.
Thank you, Chief Inspector, I’ll go down there right away, I’ll—.’
Detective Sergeant Stan Notte, held the receiver away from his face and peered into the mouthpiece. He narrowed his small pig like eyes, as if expecting to see his boss in there. ‘Stuck up bastard,’ he muttered, as he replaced the receiver.
Knotte opened the door of his small neat office and left. His rancid body odour hung back, adding to the already disagreeable atmosphere inside. He headed directly for a desk in the far corner of the open-plan work area. He stopped in front of it and stared at the person sitting behind it.
DC John Alders looked up in weary anticipation. Two watery porker’s eyes bore down at him. He knew the look. He tried to suppress a sigh.
‘I’m going down to the library, John, I want to interview that toilet cleaner, John. You know, the one you were supposed to interview yesterday . . . John.’
‘The Janitor?’
‘The toilet cleaner, John. . . . Why the look, John?”
“I interviewed him yesterday, Stan, I put a copy of the report on your desk. Didn’t you see it?”
“Sir. I’m sir to you, not Stan. And you’re John, not DC Alders to me. Right?”
DC Alders looked down at his desk and nodded, ‘Right . . . sir.’ When he looked up again he noticed Bill Jacks, the uniformed sergeant sitting at a desk behind Knotte, roll his eyes and shake his head. Somehow John Alders kept a straight face.
‘Yes I saw your report, John. A lot of fancy words John, but no substance as far as I could see, John.’
‘I gave you a detailed report, I stated clearly I didn’t—’
‘A long report, John. You gave me a long report, yes. But a conclusion? No, John. No conclusion”
‘What? Did you read it . . . sir? It clearly stated I di—’
‘You’ve already said that, John,’ Knotte said, smiling. ‘I went over it, John. I didn’t need to read every single word to see you didn’t follow my procedures, John. So, John, that’s why I got the OK from Chief Inspector Grahame to carry out my own interview, John.’
‘Your own interview?’
‘Yes, lad. I’ve been doing this for nineteen years. Do you think that after nineteen years experience in the CID, I wouldn’t have a procedure that was better than your approach, lad?’
‘OK, Stan . . . sir.” John gave up. ‘What do you want me to do with the report?’
‘Nothing you can do, is there, John? It’s too late to get it back. Why did you circulate it without my permission?’
John resisted the urge to cradle his head and shake it. ‘You told me to write it up and get it out before I went home. I was here till eleven last night.’ He spat the words out.
Stan Notte shifted his stance. ‘Well you should’ve cleared it with me first.’
‘You went home early sir. Remember?’ Alders countered in a microsecond.
‘Yeah well, next time wait.’ Knotte turned and left.
When he had gone, Bill Jacks called over to John, who was staring ahead with a numb expression on his face. “Don’t worry mate, nobody can win with that bastard Snotnose.”
‘Tell me about it.’
