Starting off on the right foot.

Hello everyone,
Thanks for reading this post and I kinda hope you can help. Basically, I have started to write a fantasy novel but I need feedback on my prologue to see if it grabs the reader. I know that seems cheeky but the only feedback I have gathered is from my family.

Any help is much appreciated :)

Thanks again!

http://www.abctales.com/story/rjcreatives/feathers-filth-reboot-prologue...