Gross!

I feel ill

AAAhhh! Here stormy, have a putrid cherry. There brown and sticky?

Sorry, mispelt their

aaahhh you a dentist beech? have a pinch on the chin.

sorry, mis-spelt punch

Red wine that has been left open for four days?

incest, paedophilia and violence:engaging in or writing about, pervers gross GROSS. emptying the u bend in kitchen sink usually makes me want to wretch too.

You mockin me stormy? Cos if you are..... *loses interest and pours himself a martini*

My most horrid thing would have to be-----"Garbage water" You know that pool of slightly sticky fluid that appers on the ground when you carry your week long rubbish out to the dustbin men? If it gets on your foot, your history..that stuff is like acid man!

sorry beech, couldn't resist. don't know what came over me. not like me. mocking an all that. ask anyone.

Linsi! Is that like him? Because if it is..... *Loses interest once again and starts cutting his toenails. Jumps up due to a sudden burst of inspiration* TOENAILS!! Flaky yella toenails that fly across the room when you cut them and disappear into the carpet. Thats gross right?

What did you think I meant. I meant lazy men who forget to clean their cheese graters, thus allowing the cheese to go mouldy, which can be disgusting. Sorry you've completely lost me, what other possible explanation could there be. I feel slandered and I don't know why. (Leaves Horrified!)

The food that wolves are fed is pretty disgusting. Sheep's entrails that have been left festering in a bucket. In the summer I helped swat away the flies to slop them out with a pair of gloves. The gloves sprang a leak. The smell is like death and beyond. Combined with the vomit-inducing noise of them squeaking in a bucket makes salted slugs look like a mere starter.

Toe nails are quite gross, I did a course in foot massage...now that's gross! Can you imagine the types of people you get to practise on when you advertise in shop windows? eh? can you? @!#$, people have the most horrific foot odour! but hey! If you wanna pay me £20 I will do it!! (no seriously I will!)

beachwood, here's one for you. Someone who chews their toenails. I'm sure there's at least one weirdo out there who does. Eeewwww!

......looks at own feet and vomits......

Boy, salted slugs take me back.. used to hunt the buggers in my restaurant kitchen every night with the salt pot. As Margaret Hamilton said in "The Wizard of Oz".. I'm melting!! You can get an equally repulsive mess at less cost by pouring boiling water on 'em. Ready cooked, see? Mind you, it can stain your lino. For a really splatty mess, catch the sods on a hard surface and stomp on 'em. Not all, just half - then you get a superb "shotgun" effect. Enjoy your breakfast, suckers.

Phlegm. There's a joke about a spittoon so gross I can't even recount it but it involves cold phlegm of many people. Truly nauseating.

Wish I was still lithe enough to be able to reach 'em...

Emily.......................The Classic Spittoon Joke is one of the best jokes of all time

Brussel Sprouts. The cheese that congregates around men's........cheese graters...

*lisa_gibson recieves a well deserved rancid cherry. Beachwood fumes for not thinking of it first.* Someone who picks their nose and eats it, or rubs it in someones hair.

beach! nice to see you back. somebody accused you of being max dog in the praise the cherry picker thread and max went apeshit! in fact, he has just apologised in that thread not 4 mins ago. If you hurry, you might get to chat with him.

You lying little sod Mark,we know very well what you meant!

Smeg.

That was Lister, foul mouthed git. He meant, of course 'Smegma'.

The Feni a friend brought back from India for us last year. It's meant to be fermented something but it tastes like alcoholic garbage drip - it's not on your shoes, it's in your mouth. Come round my place, I've got almost a full bottle!

Has a frog ever fallen out of the sky and went 'splat' on your windscreen? Its realy gross. Looks like a burst water baloon filled with chowder.

Bloody hell Mark, you're disgusting! And you've encouraged others to join in now. As for you other two, we all know what the results of not washing your dick are, and the technical terms involved thank you!

Did you know that spotted dick is now to be called spotted Richard? Oh, how times have changed...

Thats it. I know what the most disgusting thing in the world is. Mark Yelland-Brown's perverted mind. Here, a whole sack of putrid cherries just for you. Try not to do anything nasty with them.

Mississippi, quite frankly I'm shocked. My mind has always worked on quite an innocent level and I assure you I still don't really know what you're on about. Someone mentioned something about Dick's personal hygene, I don't even know Dick!

'Bout time you did then, Mark, innit? At your age, too...

LOL, Andrea!

David Mellor?

poems about small birds?

Andrea's poetry?

Slugs being salted.

I was talking with a friend about slugs and salt the other day. We were wondering what happens if you put salt on *cooked* slugs? We figured that you must be able to cook slugs as they are just meat after all, but would you be able to season them when they were ready? Would they still melt? They might be a bit bland if you can't season them. If anyone knows the answer then answers on a postcard to the usual address please!

MrThew and you can keep your festering cherry!

Dear Primate, When I cook slugs, which I frequently do, as they abound in my garden, I treat them much likes muscles...sorry, mussels. Tap 'em to see if they're still alive. Discard those that obstinately refuse to shrink Bung rest in large pan with several garlic trees and Basil Brush Drown in white wine (Chateau Migraine will do nicely) Reduce for 3 hours until a Black Mass Add Suzy and Percy to taste. Mop up with toasted garlic bread Make a run for A & E I do hope this helps...eet smakelijk! ps. Cooked slugs are pre-shrunk, so no need to worry about recriminations...

One putrid cherry commin' your way Andrea, for being such a sick minded bugger. *stealthly sneaks into kitchen to try out Andrea's recipe.*