When The Princess Died by Poetjude.
Tue, 2006-03-14 20:40
#1
When The Princess Died by Poetjude.
I really like this Jude especially the image of standing outside the public outpouring of grief.
However I do find the word 'televisioning' rather awkward, would televising be better?
I also think you could perhaps come up with a better line than 'gulping thirstily'
Other than those little niggles I loved the images you have written and am surprised at the lack of a cherry adornment.
camus
Damn it, pressed submit too quick.
http://www.abctales.com/story/poetjude/when-the-princess-died
poetjude
Have gone with televising.
Still pondering something to replace ' gulping thirstily'
Byrne
I actually liked 'gulping thirstily', it worked for me because it made me remember how everyone was so thirsty for it at the time, it was all anyone talked about for days.
I thought this had a great sweet subtlety Jude. I haven't read that many of your poems yet, but this strikes me as softer somehow than some I've read, and I enjoyed that surprise for me about it.
Hope that makes sense, am not at my most articulate tonight!