Lummy good, tum-tum and garbles - Spack

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Tue, 2006-05-09 16:35

http://www.abctales.com/story/spack/lummy-good-tum-tum-and-garbles

Je pense this is one of the best poems I've read on abc for a sizeable wedge of time - or one of my favourites, at least. Love the tongue-twisterly cockscrew flume of names and words - absolutely beautiful. The poem seems to take real joy in its use of language, and that, for me, is the number one quality a poem can possess.
Weak lines? Perhaps this couplet:
Foil tins in the garbage. Rib-less Prince
on a gargantuam bank note. Caution and Reneeze.
Felt 'garbage' was a little out of register. Didn't like 'caution and reneeze'. Felt the metre fell away a little here.
But the rest is sublime. I'd pick out individual lines, but frankly, they're all doubleplusgood.
Kudos, spackeroonie!

Tue, 2006-05-09 16:51

Brooklands

Ta muchos Timbo. I've snipped out that lame couplet like fat off a pork chop. Woop! Joe

Tue, 2006-05-09 16:54

rokkitnite

Seamless. All killer no filler. Sir, you have raised the bar.

Tue, 2006-05-09 18:34

Juliet OC

i have no idea what it is about?? Juliet

Juliet

Tue, 2006-05-09 18:43

Brooklands

This is supposed to be a poem for the ear, not for the old logic-box. More of a song than a poem, really. It has no meaning worth stressing about.

Tue, 2006-05-09 18:47

Juliet OC

fair enough ty. Juliet

Juliet

Wed, 2006-05-10 12:45

Jack Cade

It makes too much sense to me to be purely an exercise in sound. But then, I have read about fifty of the ninety-something Biggles books. 'Immelmans abound, Spandeaus rattling, "Zounds - Hun!" Ginger Heblethwaite ejaculated as the camel's matchstick ailerons went west.' As such, I can't help feeling I would benefit from a glossary, just to help everything to fall into place, although I suspect that since your aim was to produce a kind of nonsense-verse, it'll be quite a straightforward 'introducing the lads' narrative?

Wed, 2006-05-10 14:37

Brooklands

You got it, Jon. It was an introducing the lads by accident because I was enjoying those old school surnames so much. I imagined it set in a kind of Victorian circus/fairground. But primarily I was following my ear while trying to remain within a certain very British vocabulary. I wanted it to suggest 'sense' without actually having much underlying logic. Thanks for the comment, Joe

Wed, 2006-05-10 16:08

Jack Cade

It's very interesting/arresting linguistically - would it be worth, do you think, extended it into a more sustained piece with more of a story at its heart?

Wed, 2006-05-10 16:21

#10

Brooklands

Hmm, yep, that would be a challenge... when I've got a spare few hours I might give it a go. Thanks for the idea. Joe

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