A Lover by Narcissa

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Wed, 2006-02-15 17:19

lisa h

A Lover by Narcissa

http://www.abctales.com/story/narcissa/a-lover

I really liked this, especially...

someone who knows how to whisper
all the bare words of the world,
to work my curves like wax

and...

And how easily he bruises - too ripe
for his own skin.

Not too sure about the ending, but that may be me. What does anyone else think?

Lisa

Thu, 2006-02-16 00:05

maisie

this one is simply beautiful.

maisie Guess what? I'm still alive!

Fri, 2006-02-17 10:24

narcissa

Thanks for such lovely comments on A Lover! To be honest it was a bit of a speed poem so I was completely surprised to have it cherrypicked. Lisa- you're spot on there, I hate the ending myself. I was running out of steam at the bottom of the piece of paper I was writing on. Might have been something to do with the fact that it was 6 in the morning and I was on a train and very tired! So it needs a lot of editing, and definitely a decent ending. So, thank you lisa, maisie and bobblehat!! Much appreciated comments :D

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