aniseed and the alchemist by tigermilk
Wed, 2006-03-08 00:56
#1
aniseed and the alchemist by tigermilk
just seeking some criticism, as I type out the next few chapters, as to what to keep what to cut, what works, what is too silly....what is silly in a good way...
any comments appreciated gratefullyby tigermilk
thanksx
tigermilk
story begins at...
www.abctales.com/story/tigermilk/a-chapter-one
tigermilk
only read it if you like writing for children, as thats what it is
josiedog
The first para got me reading the rest of it. It's like Spike Milligan meets Alice in Wonderland, very surreal and funny too and it really cracks on at a fair old rate. Too fast for me though in the end, because there was no let up. I enjoyed the beginning most, the school scenes, but we were down the hole too quick, without a care from the main character. An occasional change of pace would do this justice. Do like the writing though. Zany.
tigermilk
thankyou josie dog
yes, you are right. its a bit overcaffeinated and too fast. am going to slow it down a little.
thanks for reading it
ps i like big pig a lot.