RE: To those who let go - Too grim?

Hi Sal That link wasn't working properly, this one should be fine: http://www.abctales.com/story/sal/those-who-let-go I see the effect you're trying to create, and I very much like the atmosphere you're going for. I think the overall rhythm works well, but I think clarity has been comprimised a little. I may be totally wrong here, I get the feeling this has been rewritten a number of times, that it started as one thing but is currently another. Few specific points: - "articicial" should be artifical, I think? - I'm not sure about the 'din of sideways glances' - I don't understand the second sentence: 'The price is our reason, and the 'idea' more than the effect.' Cheers Ben