RE: Of Dreams

This is a fascinating story, albeit difficult to read in one block of text. I am sure it congealed together in the sending. Try triple space between paragraphs if double does not do it.

Use snappy shorter paragraphs. Try not to repeat info from one line to another, ie four of us in a battle, then we four (my words), rather say then we....Don't overdo the noises of battle, but focus on the intent---the vision, the goal, the characteristics of friend and foe, ie Igor's strength was no match for the ferret, who leaped under massive legs and struck a pin prick of dagger behind the giant's knee, bringing the hulk down in a thunderous crash.

Remember, everyone has a niche in style, do not copy anyone, be innovative, create your own path, and keep writing; your style is very good. Test yourself by sending this story to one online journal at a time. I do not believe in simultaneous submissions (submissions to a flock at a time). Come visit my new web page, www.wsprog.com/rp/(link is external) you do not have to buy any books, there are free downloads, help yourself. And read my Blog: Provencher Paths. God bless and take care, from Richard and Esther Provencher.