Statement by Span

http://abctales.com/story/span/statement

I know most cherried pieces get flagged up anyway, but I really did enjoy this coupleted piece by Span.

It's a gorgeous ending, for starters. The body cast/wedding dress is oddly uplifting. The control over the language is stitch-tight and the journey is wonderfully fragmented into images, which seems to reflect the pattern of such a trip more than a flat narrative. You get glimpses into what's going on (I got the impression of crash) but little is made concrete, and I like that ambiguity.

Few edit suggestions:

1. "After Exit 17 I sleep and dream of our bones battling
like clattering milk bottles in the back of battery vans."
I see why you're going for the onamatopeia here, but you could afford to lose "clattering". One too many. Nice wordplay.

2. Couple typos: "my boyfriends eyes" needs an apostrophe and so does "‘lets lift her out of here...'"

3. "and with my fist make like a JCB in a bag of pickled onion monster munch." could be tightened to "JCB my fist into a bag of Monster Munch"

4. Also a bit unsure about someone just saying ‘lets lift her out of here, she has pallid pupils’ in everyday life.

Cool stuff overall, Span!