The Candle and the Barbed Wire by ian hobson
Fri, 2007-07-20 15:17
#1
The Candle and the Barbed Wire by ian hobson
I found this story strangely compelling. It's just a description of a very mundane meeting - but it rings so true and it's so nicely done that it's well worth a read. I'm not sure about the ending - it makes it all a bit too twee - but the authenticity just crackles out of it:
ggggareth
Excellent. I think the ending is completely unnecessary as the story makes a perfectly valid point without it: all candle and no barbed wire.
As an alternative ending, what if Winifred just walked out of the meeting into the rain and thought how tough life was for her? This would be irony enough, without the clunky cell-scene.
I've never been to an Amnesty meeting - are they really like the Women's Institute?
This is incredibly hard to do - string an inconsequential conversation together into something that so compelling for a reader. Well done.
ggggareth
I may have missed something, but I was looking forward to the entrance of Angelina, but she never turned up. I was hoping she'd be some sort of jack-booted militant that would be most unwelcome!
Ian Hobson
Wow, thanks for your comments, they were completely unexpected as this story is one of my earliest. As you may have guessed, I am an Amnesty local group member (Wharfedale group, based in Ilkley) and the meeting-room door does squeak.
As for the ending; I wanted to show the contrast between the two realities: friendly meetings / tortured prisoners.
Ian
Guiseley, UK