Derren Brown (2020) A Little Happier: Notes for Reassurance.

Derren Brown is magic. He writes stuff too. Much of which I’ve read. Here he condenses 17 chapters of his international bestseller, Happy. I’ve read that too. I’m unhappy that 99.99% of the stuff I read, I instantly forget. That should worry me. But you know what Derren Brown said?

Well, if you don’t, I’ll remind you (and myself).

‘None of this is real.’ Happiness does not exist, but it’s one of those stories we make up and remind ourselves that it does. In other words, it’s ephemeral as a rainbow. Brown tells us to embrace stoicism. He reminds us that the self-help industry is full of shit and shysters. Don’t believe a word they tell you.

‘Be wary of goal-setting.’ Goal setting might work in the short-term. The blind may see. The lame walk. Faith healers move on. What happens when we lose faith? We’ve only ourself to blame. Do your best and dismiss the rest. In fact, take a rest, you’ll feel better about yourself and work better.

‘Our terrible judgements.’ We feel we are in control of our lives. Like Spock we use only rational judgements. In reality, our emotions run away from us and we don’t know ourselves. I use the plural here. In recognition most people are more than one person. Our lives are full of deceits. When we recognise the stories we tell ourselves about common humanity, we begin to recognise ourself in others.  

‘The ancient art of tranquillity.’ Don’t hold the book upside down or your life upside down. Deal with what is manageable. Stoics developed tranquillity that was all Greek to me, but was also Roman. Would you plug into a machine that makes you happier? (Only if the internet was down.)

‘Why Almost Everything is Fine’ (apart from the moron’s moron, Trump, obviously). ‘Is protest worthwhile?’ Only if it’s something you can exert influence. Stoicism is recognising your limitations.  That old AA line. The serenity to know the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can (mainly changing yourself). And wisdom to knowing the difference.

‘Attend to yourself.’ The Stoic voice in your head is the voice of reason and moderation. Righteous anger is fine as long as you’re not playing to an audience. Seek not security of self, but neither seek to make others insecure. Grow into yourself.

‘The Danger of Self-Sufficiency.’ Stoics say little about love. Let life wash through, not over you. You’ll not learn about humanity unless you watch and learn about yourself through others.

‘Lower your expectations.’ I like this one. We’re so often told to…well, you know how it goes. This isn’t telling you to do the opposite. It’s saying things happen. Your life happens. Sometimes not as you planned. Mostly not as planned.

‘It is not a crisis.’ Obviously, if your child dies, it’s a crisis. Brown is not saying it is not. What he is suggesting is we spend too much time rehearsing for life. ‘Some people are predisposed to catastrophise’ (and put it on Fakebook).

‘We are not so special.’ I’m tempted to say, speak for yourself. But I am speaking for myself. I’m not special.

‘You are stuck with yourself.’ Get off the hedonistic treadmill, Brown tells us. The ancient Greeks had a different name for it. It’s universal. We are universal. It doesn’t matter. When we go away, we come back to ourself.

‘An alternative to mediation.’ I’m pretty good at meditation, but I usually fall asleep. I don’t know if that counts. Brown reiterates a passage of Stoic though I’d copied from Happy (and forgotten).

‘I will meet people today that will in some way let me down. They will act like this because in that moment they will know no better. But the wrong they do is similar to my own that I commit every day, just as convinced I am acting fairly. And if I can avoid being dragged down by them, I will be of better service to myself and the world.’

‘Rehearse Loss.’ All this will pass. You will pass too. An old prayer on Ash Wednesday spring to mind, when the priest daubed our foreheads with ash. ‘Remember you are dust and to dust you will return.’ Live life in the betweens.

‘Your partner isn’t right for you.’ ‘We are creatures of loss.’ Disillusionment does not come from the other, but ourself. Learn to love yourself. Then you may love others.

‘A life worth living.’ Our life needs purpose. But sometimes we forget that. Death reminds us. Bronnie Ware, a palliative-care nurse, recorded dying people’s last regrets.

‘1) I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2) I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3) I wish I’d the courage to express my feelings.

4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5) I wish that I had let myself be happier.

6) I wish I hadn’t voted for the moron’s moron, Donald J. Trump.

Death is not an equal employer. Nor is it that sad old line of people ‘battling bravely’. Fighting on. Life is too short. That’s the reminder. Read on.