Forum Comments

That makes two of us. Here's to putting out our stalls with pride and decency, polishing those apples up, smiling warmly and saying thanks to happy customers!

Thanks Rask, Your crap must smell like flowers judging by the work you're churning out on Abc. You're spot on, though; it's all about Him, and I'm just begiinning to understand that. Keep those craps comin'. Richard

This brought a tear to my eyes (if I was alone I'd have had a real cry, I'm sure, and that's no mean feat). Your brilliant skill of seeing things through a child's eyes slowly displaces the reader towards the all but forgotten realms of innocence and adventure, bewilderment and despair. Thanks.

I often wondered where you'd got to. Great to see you back and looking forward to reading more of your work. All the best Richard

Finding a girlfriend in bed with someone used to be a huge fear of mine, and, as much as I tried, I never found one in the act. I could spend sleepless nights fearing it, almost willing it to happen. What comes around, etc. To be honest, I thought this was good but not to your usual standard. Maybe the chopping and cutting (of content) left a few nuggets out. Blighter.

Great memory and imagination you had and have. This made me remember how little I remember from my childhood. Funnily enough, just before reading this, I had a conversation about this and she suggested I see an analyst about it! maybe i had to block alot out. I was sure the narrator was female in this, perhaps because of your username, and my preconceptions. A refreshing read. All the best Richard

Remarkably true to lifeforms of my recent past, those zombies, and most of them are still alive, I think. Incredible, the human body. I'm enjoying these new bitesized chunks, Rob. Keep 'em coming!

Master of under-statement, keeper of the blindly obvious, giver of confidence, forgetter of pens and things, and then Bang! You're fuckin' nicked, me old beauty. Every episode of Columbo was a corker, and I have to admit undying love for Murder She Wrote and Diagnosis Murder. I know, I'm a vegetable.

Some great comments here. What really riled me was that Cameron decided to release this gem of wisdom on Fathers Day. How he expects the shameless to fell shame is beyond me, but, true to Tory form, it's all about the money, but does he actually think this tack will work? An uncaring father won't suddenly seek contact with his children because the PM has called him a runaway dad. No, that person will quickly justify his actions by laying the blame in a million different places, all of which he has lied to myself are pertinent. I listened to LBC this morning and sure enough, Cameron's plans were ridiculed by all but the mothers that phoned in. I haven't seen my two daughters for seventeen months now and it all started six months after I became homeless (we were already separated) to save money and carry on paying a very large cash maintenance amount per month. By this time I'd exhausted all financial avenues and the recession was in full flow. When I told the mother that I could only pay what her ex-husband was paying for her two children by him, she cut me off completely, just as she has done with him (she had already alienated him five years previously). Left with no alternative but to go to court, I was allowed Legal Aid because by then I had no work and lived at the YMCA, but the process has been long-winded, allowing the mother time to wipe me from my children's minds. I dread to think how much money this has cost the legal system and the taxpayer, whom I had never wanted to burden, but it must be tens of thousands of pounds, considering all the court hearings and barristers and other legal help. Because I admitted once kicking the mother in the side (I am not proud of this behaviour), I have been assessed by a clinical forensic psychiatrist to evaluate the risk to my children and to the mother and continue to go to a domestic violence intervention project that will give a report to the court, with a three-day final hearing booked for August. Both of my children have been removed from school and the eldest has had her surname changed. The mother has moved and will not reveal her new address to anyone, including the court and the children's friends. She suffers from parental alienation syndrome and will never get well unless she is made to acknowledge her ailment through treatment, but the courts in this country have never brought a case against a mother for this reason, which denies sufferers of help when they are all but crying out for it. Allowing the mother to continue to poison/ condition/brainwash the children is without doubt the most destructive outcome for all. If she is treated, we all win, the kids, the parents, and everyone that comes into our contact. If not, she will damage the children so badly that she will regret it for the rest of her life and they willl ead lives that are far from their own. Even if the court allows me restricted contact, how will my children come to me when they have been poisoned against me? How will they be able to leave their mother's door to greet me if she makes them feel guilt and shame for leaving her, if only for an afternoon in the park? Scorn is a powerful emotional weapon that is being wealded with the law system's approval, but the only people who gain from such rulings are drug dealers, pimps, sexual predators, breweries and lawyers. I hope that you don't think that I'm looking for your sympathy. I certainly am not, but if anyone empathises with me, please comment. My aim is to highlight this permitted form of child abuse, that strikes at the core of a child's belief system and can go on to cause a lifetime of misery, unless it's realigned and put right in their mind, so that one day the law system will change its policy and act responsibly on behalf of the children and not for the convenience of the judiciary. If there are any people who have suffered as a result of PAS in the past or presently, please, if you can find it in your heart to comment, I am sure that it will be for the best. Acceptance is surely the key to all problems, otherwise we wouldn't see them for what they are, and I wish I could help the mother of my children more than anything. I don't see her as an evil woman. She is sick and deserves help, but will not get it if she is allowed to carry on destroying herself and her children. The truth is, she was subjected to similarly abusive treatment by her own mother. Her own sense of self is so deeply embedded beneath her own confused value system that she has unwittingly reverted to the behavioural tendencies that her mother imposed upon her. That's why I see her as a victim in this, but it doesn't alter the fact that she is abusing four beautiful children to whom she gave birth and who I care about more than anything else in the world. Not being able to protect them or nurture them or assure them or school them, being vilified by the law for trying to help them, is the most difficult challenge of my life, but I'm up for it and I hope that people will gain courage to speak out about their own experiences so that the courts will actually listen one day. Richard

shows what suckers for punishment humans are, especially those seeking solace in untruths.

Well good. Proper raunchy writing from a free-thinkin' feline. There's an assured air to this and, although I hope you didn't actually experience twat of a man, it rang true. Second Dynamaso; a Top Short, no less. Any more will be gratefully read.

Thanks to all you wonderful, amazing people who, although only digitally-acquainted (apart from Julie, who I've had the pleasure of meeting twice at the London evening), feel like real friends and thorough good vibers. Today, the first of three days, went well, I think. The ex and a 'mutual' friend standing for her, were up in the box. I managed to zip my lip bar a few suffering-succotash grumble-mumblings (learnt how to spell 'succotash' from Barry's latest story). I'm up tomorrow for questioning. Keep flooding those airwaves with love for us! All the best Richard ps. Nic; you've got yourself a deal.

Hi Rachel, Your post made me tingle all over. I admire you immensely for having to go through hard times as a child. I've only just started to get my head around the past and I look at things differently now, as if in a second life, where I don't need to do myself down and get in trouble, to feel less than, thoroughly self-conscious/absorbed. The retreat I have in mind would call upon volunteers in all areas of help, so you'd be much more than a teamaker, I can assure you of that. Empathy can only really be effective when the helper has been through the same problems as the helpee (that's only my opinion). By sharing our experience and giving it away freely to those in need, we benefit in so many ways more than money. There are many people who have suffered as a child and want to help (have you seen The Secret Millionaire and the sheer joy of the millionaire when he/she sees that they've made a real difference? Beautiful.) Once I've got my business plan together for the retreat, I'll be knocking on lots of doors but it's the kindness and beauty of people like yourself that will keep me going. All the best Richard

Assured telling and lots of inter-related weaving to marvel at, especially the Mushypeas, I mean Mashpees. Question: Was your use of the Mashpees an intended comparison between the plights of native American Indians and Jews or am I reading into it too much? I know this is a romantic piece but I thought the end pounced on me a bit hurriedly, although it has to be said that I was secretly itching for the Waspy Winthrops to lay into the lead, which would surely have had me in stitches. All the best Richard

Make up with a resented friend/family member Do something kind for someone/anyone but don't tell them it was you Write a gratitude list Don't gossip Get some voluntary work Use your imagination by writing about three things you know very little about All the best Richard

I enjyed reading this. My dad always threatened to write his autobiography and I somehow expect to receive it with dust all over it when he dies, finally understanding him for who he is. Bon chance la bas en etats unis! i hope you carry on writing from there.

Great stuff. Very enjoyable read. I grew up on the Wirral and there was always lots of trouble on offer. Once, I think a pal and I set fire to a public toilet and after it was closed down and boarded up someone got in through the roof but it was a massive beehive by that time. Not what I intended at all. 2p pieces on railway lines to flatten them was another good one.

Decent enough place to meet Daddio and the overall message in this for me is that fathers are immaculately imperfect and are sometimes blind to their children's desperate need for open love. The cruelty came from the woman who requires his attentions as much as the daughter. all the best Richard

I'd say it's OK. Good to change tack to male but I felt a bit let down not knowing what happened the day before. You've hit the male voice alright but suggest doing more to firm it up.

Hi Nicholas, It sounds like we're in the same boat in many ways. What I do find pertinent to my own peace of mind is that when I do good things for others, it comes straight back to me, which fires a good amount of long-lasting peace in me. Being on my own isn't something I enjoy but it beats trying too hard with others when I'm in a depressive state. Life's tricky but I'm sure of one thing and that is; to give is to receive. Works every time. No one really wants to do sanitation and my hat's off to those that do, but there's plenty of other things to do out there. Keep writing for sure, but try not to get lost in the self. We both know how dark it is in there. If you think about who it is that you'd most like to help (it could be runaway kids or old people or stray cats), I'd honestly suggest finding out how you can go about giving some time to them for free. There are a lot of small charities that need people with big hearts and a bit of time. The buzz you'll get back is immense. Who knows? You may already have a plan that's in action. If not, give it a whirl. I really appreciate your kind words. It helps me a lot. All the best Richard

Thats a good developing chapter. The Scotsman sounds about right but I would have liked to have seen him ridiculed a bit more cheekily. There are typos, mostly with and youre>. Excuse no inverted commas. Italian keyboards dont have them. I do look forward to the next installment.

Nice. A beginning, middle and end. Humourous, too. There are alot of clench-fisted poems, author comatosing over a comma, without life; a calculation. This isn't one.

Depression represents all the evils in the world (or those experienced on a peersonal level) seen through the eyes of a sensitive person who knows that the human race is capable of so much more. The onset of depression is the angst in knowing that there is little one can do to change the situation. Im quite sure that depression didnt exist at the time of the cavemen. The best thing for a depressive to do is to stop thinking about him/herself and concentrate on helping others. Its the perfect tonic for long-term recovery but it does takes time. My inquisitive mind wondered whether simon barget thought you might be 21 or 22 by the 89 at the end of your username. Theres no need to read anything into it.

This is an achingly sad piece. Are eggs preferred to eggshells because they don't make so much sound that might awaken the tormented soul that the narrator lives with? Surely the stench would wreak havoc sooner or later or does he mops them up before he goes to bed? If you ever fancy a cup of coffee and a game of table tennis I'm in Mayford. All the best Richard

Hi Pia, Thanks for reading. It's a global mess, isn't it, but that's only because it's all run by the same self-serving twurps. All we have to do is say 'enough', down tools, stop paying bills, fines, etc. and demand sanity, accountability and responsibility. Truths need to be told, otherwise the lies will get worse and worse. There's one of them to every nine of us but we don't need to lift a finger against them. It's purely an ethical issue, which needs to be sorted for the generations to come. Corruption is so rife that it's accepted in all walks of public/private services life from top to bottom. Deception and war/fearmongering can only last so long before it thwacks straight back in their faces, but they're like any bully; they have to be stood up to. When they see that we won't be bullied into what is global wholesale extortion, they'll walk away. Bullies always do. All the best Richard

great stuff Typo; 'on sort' should be 'onslaught', I think. Been trying to work it out and just got it. Richard

A red-lipped smacker of a drinking song from the high priestess of black-eye-lined narrative verse. I thought GHD was a type of date-rape drug but then realised that it's GHB, silly me. Your work seems to have a knack of clicking my brain back to its senses. Send some of your work to songwriters or better still find a mate with a guitar to fit the words into music. This is too good for words alone..

Nice one, poncey. I like the season changing/habit changing theme either side of the pond. I'm going through the drying-out process at the mo (just about to put Now or Never 5 and 6 on the site) and I act like a sugared-up kid when the old endorphins are released without stuffing substances down me. What fun I have listening to mindless eighties pop! Now don't go doing anything drastic, will you? Suffolk may be a self-proclaimed island of in-breds but Dorset's lovely, and there's always Cornwall, or Hawaii.

Hi Eliza. I felt like a real stick in the mud old killjoy when you mentioned my little contretemps, and this post of yours was a timely reminder that I should think before I verbalise my thoughts. It's not like school here, so don't let yourself feel anyone's telling you off. Get your ten pennorth in! Debate is something I enjoy, and there's no ill will in what I say. I learn from it because I put myself on the line. The fence is a really uncomfortable place to sit. I tried it once and I got a dead bum in minutes. Abctales is a revelation and I'm sure you'll enjoy it immensely if writing is your love. My best day will be when I am reunited with my two daughters. All the best, Richard

A good one, showing the trivial pursuit and a nice whack of gratitude at the end, just to show that it's not so trivial after all. Christmas can be filled with fractious silences, little smirks, side-swipes and general family angst, but it's been a real pleasure this year.

Well done, Sundays. Achilles heel's a rollocking ride. I'm going to get off my arse and send one in too. What the hell. I love Alex Tomlin's post here. The audacity of honesty! And the cheek of Ether! Rock on Richard

I am so insane that I tear pieces of paper up thinking that they will reform, laughing and crying at the same time. I am a man of eight inches and my favourite program is Songs of Praise. My fave food is steak and chips. You are a delusionist who conjures less than nothing from something without trying, whose lost sense of love festers in the gutters of digital dilemmas. I'd be surprised if you worked and amazed if someone actually paid you for any other than basic janitorial tasks. I won't be replying to your lervely emails from now on, honeysuckle. Ciaowder

Great poem. Unfortunately, Bill's type are fewer and further between nowadays, and will probably be castrated at birth in a decade or two. A thumbs up from a fellow ex-cad.

Hi Stephen, Now that Wilkybarkid has explained the link you were taken to, I totally understand how you decided to go down this road. I'm not on the Abctales team but I do think it should be reworded now that stories can be commented on so easily. It's refreshing to hear such an honest, undaunted response and I get the distinct impression you're going to love this site. All the best Richard

I know the type and this is so true to form. Brilliantly magnified imagery that lets the imagination fly, swooping on nuggets of past experience from each hung sentence.

Florain- that's a beautiful analogy. FTSE- just because you've lost faith in people (did you ever have any?) doesn't necessarily mean that everyone else on the planet is wrong to hope for a better way of life. You can be as hubristical as you like when you say 'don't let me spoil your game' but it really isn't a game at all. Were you toying with the word 'little' to add to 'game'. It wouldn't surprise me one bit. Recently, I was talking about the protesters at St Paul's with a group of people and afterwards, a woman approached me and told me that I really shouldn't be worried about the world, assuring me that it would sort itself out. When I disagreed, she laughed and, on leaving, suggested that 'I go and play with the tent people'. This is just the sort of remark that hurtful, lonely and sad people make when they have given up on love. As for unnamed evil men and unspecified evil things (acts?), your own denial that such people and bodies exists only shows your contempt for change. Libya's managing rather well without a government and truths are finally beginning to sink in. Do you suppose that their revolution was for nothing and would you have rather they stayed under the watch of Gaddafi and his henchmen? While I agree that our time on this planet is finite in the grand scheme of things, I refuse to believe that our time here cannot be better spent. While I am well aware that you are free to add to my post at will, reorder comments to limit damage to your intellectual reputation and spew cheap nonsense that humanity is dead, you may find that these tactics are underhand and best attributed to those you seem to think do not exist.

I get the distinct feeling that this should be followed by a raucous outing to town with Marnie dressed as Sid Vicious and you as Withnail. Perhaps in a twee tea room. Great writing, still flowing nicely. I'd say Marnie's earning her keep!

Thanks very much for your comments, Julie and Pia.

Your analysis is your paralysis and, judging by the fact that you have failed to justify or protect your findings, I can only assume that you wrote this at a particularly difficult time. This site has been a revelation for me, offering all that I had hoped for and more. Forgive me for saying, but I tend to visualise a person from his/her writing. The image I have of yourself is that of a teacher who finds pleasure in overcomplicating simple matters that should be easy to broach for his students, which is worse than a non-job. If something doesn't work for me, I try to let it go. Goodbye and good luck.

Hi Sorry not to have replied to your emails. I've been busy with court case etc, and had intended to email back to you but when i referred to your email this morning I found out that I have lost all my emails from May till July by mistake. Please get in touch when you can. All the best Richard

So that's his plan, huh? I wonder who he'd get to write it; Jon Gaunt or the head of police? Funny that it was the police that allowed the phone hacking to go on (they organised it) and now we'll all have to wait until the no-stone-unturned police investigation into the hacking takes its course (for years, by which time all incriminating evidence will be removed) in order for the glorious, no-holds-barred public inquiry to take place (that will cost millions of your money, take another few years and come to nothing apart from some nice profitable news bulletins). It's like asking a criminal (who was caught in the act on camera and by witnesses) to represent himself in a court where he is judge and jury... can you see him running from one seat to another to answer questions, Marx Brothers styley? Good old British justice, and a good day to raise gas by 18% and leccy by 16%. Anyone for tea and toast? Not on my watch.

Poetic and positively swimming in gratitude to lovely siblings

thanks Oldpesky! I'd spit my torment at the drop of a hat to whoever cared to listen. I've been lazy with reading stories lately, probably cos I've only got the web on my phone and it's hard to concentrate, plus I now need glasses to read. God I feel old saying that, but I love your work. All the best Richard

Thanks for reading, ScoZen. What a song to wail with. I can't remember the name of the track but boy could she sing. Real gut-wrenching stuff.

I'm packing my bags for Broadmoor. You can send the banana there. Please address it to 'The One Who Keeps Asking If He Can Possibly Be Librarian'. I reckon this deserves SOTW for its comedy value. Oh, I have a few more blatant traits of the 'orrible ABC OCD disorder, but they're too weird to divulge. I know, you're only as sick as your secrets, but I'm hoping that these strange mind-goblins will disappear if I ignore them. Thanks for posting this. It's great.

ps. ask Tony if he can do you a deal on printing it. I'm pretty sure he's started a small press but not entirely certain. Either way, he's well worth asking, if only for advice.

A bonkers banana at home or nutty fruitcakes at the pub.. reminds me of my old life only I used to smoke the bananas. That was definitely a potty story. You're on a roll now. Try housepainting for inspiration. There's nothing quite like a wall and a bit of sandpaper (like grass and a mower) to get adequately lost in thought. As the brain is emptied by monotonous action, the mind lightens enough to fly.

All drugs ARE legal in Britain, unless you've got a few kilos too much. The police like to confiscate the goodies but bringing users to justice costs the taxpayer far too much, they say. The best drugs come from the army boys after a jaunt in Afghanistan, or, if not, the police have got some pretty good stuff, but you'll have to ask them very nicely. Your best option is not to take drugs at all. They'll only mash your brain and turn you into someone you're not.

Go to the Savannah hotel on the east coast for lunch and then take a dip in the pool there. Just north is a great place by the sea which has street food and great music on certain evenings. I can't remember the name but it's well known. Lots of pot-smoking and herby chicken. Bridgetown's a letdown but the bus terminal's good for photography.

Read this now and enjoyed it. It has a totally different flavour on the voice, outside its comfort zone, and I think I enjoyed your brill interplay between the French and English so much that I instinctively missed it the moment I started reading. I think that the narrator has a different voice now, more edgy, and that's hard to do right. The character can carry this story along but I must admit I'd rather it was longer, like a small chapter of a book, so I can get my teeth stuck in. This one has only got to the airport from the island. It would have been nice to get to Paris or at least find out what the options are in the narrator's mind. How does she feel about Al? Will he cut the card off? No. Does he come after her? Is romance (or is it mystery?) round the corner? Very drunk the other night. I can write some twaddle when I'm like that.