Forum Comments

'Making or implying unwarrantable claims to dinity, authority or knowledge'. That would sound like someone who may say something like 'of equally sound judgement and incorruptibility as me'. As to confidence being the driving force behind honesty, integrity and open-mindedness, that's laughable. The latter three attributes don't need confidence to be conveyed properly. In fact, confidence relies on honesty, integrity and open mindedness, unless, of course, that confidence is used to trick a person. So, if you didn't expect to find a lawyer by posting this, I can only assume that this was neither a query or an advertisement, however (apparently) hypothetical, so what is it about? 'To assume, or to ascribe to, without just reason'. Well, that again smacks of the type of thing you might say. Let me see; 'Any suggestions will, probably, be gratefully received'. Totally arrogant! and then the icing on the cake; 'ps. I won't be requiring legal aid.' Priceless!! I suggest you take a good long hard look at yourself instead of guessing the gender of others (for whatever reason I can't think, unless you're trying to protect your human rights as a faultless, demure, mature lady of integrity, honesty and open mindedness, of course). I say long live equality; tits, tissues, testicles, tampons, tiaras, I can't think of a T for men (now there's equality), test-tubes!! (there's one..replacement) and all!

thanks, ladies. Wishing you all the best for the competition. Richard

Yeah, I agree about the last line. It just seems unnecessary and illogical when the entire length is a justified rant against the father. Even if the mother was a weak, submissive, madly coersing chaperone to Dad's inferiority complex, it's still surplus to needs. Nice one.

It would be constructive to highlight constructive criticism (had to double-check that word in Roget's) because it is one of the most rewarding things to do on this site. I do look to see if writers appreciated my feedback and always like to receive feedback for my writing. When I read something that bowls me over, there's nothing better than telling the writer how his/her work affected me. A lot of what I write comes from reading other people's work, either because the feeling given was so good that I find my mind open to what I'd been trying to write in the first place or because the subject matter exposed makes me want to put my own slant on it. It's well known in decorating that if you do a bad job, eight out of ten customers will speak to their friends about you whereas if you do great work only two out of ten speak in your favour. I say let's buck that trend. The only problem is how much time this will take up for the editors. Too much, I reckon, so it could be better to have a weekly forum topic on crit that worked well for a writer, why it worked for them and how it helped them. That way, we could learn how constructive criticism benefits and shapes the development of a writer, because that's what counts; that we all get better at what we do. I don't think there should be prizes. It should be purely educational in that we all learn and understand how constructive criticism can be.

Echoing all, this is really refreshing and Malady's a great name for the dark-dumbo monkey. Is your username anything to do with Martin Amis' London Fields character? She was a one.

hi Mark. I live in Woking now, which is a zillion miles from London, where I usually live. If I were you I'd put up flyers and get onto radio stations/press/libraries/colleges in your area to see if people would be interested in a reading evening. I,m sure you,d get a great response. This site's amazing but there surely aren't that many Antipodeans...I could be wrong, but either way the only way to get an evening going where you are is to plug it locally. There are some red hot writers in Oz at the mo and Tony might be up for collaborating as an abctales evening. He's the hearty captain of the one me and Rob got going in London. It would have been a struggle without Abctales' illustrious name on board. With Tony at the helm, it's plain sailing. How many puns is that?! If you'd like any help from me on how to go about drumming up local interest, please send me an email. All the best Richard.

life's about sharing and the same goes for writing. This method of seeking feedback just doesn't work. It's too cap in handy. You get what you give and takers are losers, not that I think that you are a loser at all. Commenting freely and honestly on people's work opens our minds. It's also good for tolerance.

That made me laugh, and you're right. Glad to know you're well. I have a friend in Italy who absolutely adores your writing and she'll be glad to know you're well, as am I. Now where's that Frankle gone? All the best to you, Harry. Richard

Thanks for reading, Maggie. Teeny angst is full of self-pity. It's hard to confront the fact that we're not the centre of the universe at that age, huh. Can't believe I watched the X Factor and enjoyed it. The black judge is so full of everything I'm looking for. What a stunning heart she has. I got tingles down my legs every time someone went through. Must be those emotions kicking in now I've given up the sauce.

Saw her interviewed by smarmy Laurie Taylor on Sky last night. She's managed to do the same thing to me. I absolutely adore the woman. She is woman; arty, outspoken, well spoken, unafraid, insightful, self-aware, compassionate, a bit more than a handbag and a bit of slap. God, if only I was twenty minutes younger!

Very graphic and lots of great visual mind-moulding. Oh, and well written. I'm one who enjoyed finding out the narrator was a girl. The setting made me think of a Texan version of Gaza 2012, God forbid the Israelis are allowed to strangle ever more.

Thanks Pia. You're a star on this site! Richard

Nice, got the twist just before the end. well written

That was brilliant, Ritchie. You have a great way with words, just like your Mum. I'd love to know what you think of a children's story that I wrote called 'Of Course You Can Meet The Queen!' Well done for writing this. It's amazing. All the best Richard

Be very sure that this works. It explains perfectly the hardened alcy's resentful slow-burn to death and the painful acceptance of loss and misplaced pride. It even traces the useless farce of trying to take prisoners when he knows that he will end up alone in his own prison. Deep and insightful. This reminds me of when I used to look out the window, stoned or pissed or hungover, watching a man clean his car in the sunshine or happily walk from work and I'd be thinking 'get a fuckin' life, mate'.

I bet she takes you into a quiet room and asks you to listen to what your tummy tells you about Tucson. Marnie sounds like a friend worth having, and heroin's awfully bad for the digestion, but you know that anyway. I'm preparing to fasten my seatbelt for the ride of a lifetime, but secretly (not any more) I hope you don't go..Choose wisely. ps. if you need help with decorating and touching up the house for selling, on your return of course, I'd be happy to put in a day's work if you pay my gas and make me lunch. Best of luck.

A computer's about as useful as a cucumber where nature's concerned, but thanks for your comment, Mangone.

Hi David, Railway Children means a lot to me and I can't tell you how much I love what you're doing for vulnerable children everywhere. The pilot scheme sounds like a very effective way of getting a good message directly across to those affected by alienation without the prying and judgemental being privy. Total confidentiality would surely have to be provided by the teachers who come forward with suggested pupils in need, to aid the child's confidence in speaking out and taking on board what counsellors had to say. The core problem, as you know well, is usually the parents, which is the most difficult and uncomfortable prospect for vulnerable children to accept, and without doubt the single most likely negater of any help given by such counsellors. There's so much work to be done and I can't help thinking that the more extreme cases' needs will only be truly met by exposing them to nature, art, sports and therapeutics in a healthy living environment, away from their home and for a reasonable length of time. This would inspire such children to wade through adolescence with the strength of knowledge that there is a better life waiting for them if only they will take it upon themselves to use the tools they've been shown in their time away and continue to work with counsellors such as those Railway children propose. Although such a place of enlightenment would cost an immense amount of money and be seen by potential investors as extremely high risk, it also has to be remembered that halfway measures avail us nothing, which is not to say that the pilot scheme is destined to failure. That is not my view, only I do believe that a mind has to be shown proof of goodwill when he/she lives in torment. Vulnerable children need a place to recover, just as an alcoholic or addict needs to get out of his/her place of using. It doesn't have to be forever, just long enough to see the wood form the trees, that there is hope for them in the world. If such a place existed in each county, with the duty of care falling on local government just as it does for adults in addiction and ex-prisoners, cases of later abuse in life would fall dramatically, but that's only my opinion. These children know that life is difficult. What they don't know is that there is so much beauty and love out there. Without this realisation, their chances of survival will remain desperately low. That's my belief, anyway, and many people think I live in fantasyland, that the problem will never go away and that a lost cause is a lost cause. There used to be places out in the country that looked after badly treated children, but where are they now? Look how many more children suffer as a result, and the impact this has on society. The govt has abandonned these children, their parents are (on the whole) emotionally incapable of looking after them, and the vox populi is that a lost cause is a lost cause. Sorry to chew your ear off. I am very passionate about this as I know you are too. My aim in posting this on the site rather than directly to you is to highlight the problem of abused children so that it may raise awareness in a small way. I certainly do not wish this to be seen as in any way derogatory to the work that Railway Children have been doing for so long already. Like Abctales gives me hope as a writer, Railway Children gives me hope as a helper. All the best Richard

I had a black lab called Nero in France. We picked him up as a stray in a hamlet where we'd rented a gite. He stayed with us for the three or four years we were there and then we had to move back to the UK, where any mention of dog, cat, child or smoker caused gutless rental agents to convulse and froth at the mouth. Talking of increased rent seemed to be their only remedy. Luckily, our neighbours took Nero. He's a Parisian dog now and has many holidays a year at the farmhouse in the Tarn with his retired owners. I'll never forget him but I'll never forgive myself for not bringing him back. Have you gone too?

Just about puts astrological science to bed, where it should rest for eternity, if only the world was rid of childish egomaniacs like the dork described in this brilliantly subtle piece. I think your real talent lies in the picking apart of human uselessness/mindlessness without showing any signs of judgementalism. It allows the reader to ask questions of his own world. The dialogue is word perfect and the sense of how powerless we are to the panderings of respectable ignorami is quite overwhelming. You'd make mincemeat out of a health and safety plot. Richard

Don't know what obsidian means, which makes me feel in the dark when I don't know words. Still, lots of animated weirdness here and good to see Theresa holding her own. They're a pretty good team. One slight worry is that the intrepid two are always found an entirely different scenario for each episode which seems to flux/distant me in the sense of continuity. I know it's a 200-worder but some sort of link from one episode to the next might help. That said, these are like comic strips and are probably supposed to fling us from one place to the next without a by your leave. good stuff Richard

Gutsy and gritty, and full of the contrite acknowledgement that most jobs in this country are both unnecessary and hurtful to all involved. There are just too many middle classed psychopaths pretending to be someone while working in the public/private sector these days, n'est-ce pas? Reminds me of a very male Martin Amis character. Well done.

'Look you two. It is what it is,etc'. No, that doesn't work. I'll try again. 'I knew this time would come and it's ALL good.' I'm all Ghanan tonight and me eyes are all wonky like and there are voices outside say that the Muslims are gonna fuckin' do us, but what do I know? Anyone for a hazelnut? He's right, you need to let yourself go, you may be thinking the same thing right now. (are you biting your nails? that's the first time you've done that for ages, but it's all good). Don't get me wrong. I've a few too many. Will read this tomorrow when my eyes are right.

Yeah, it's about time I got my gentle little reminder from the SLC (about the only company left that's kept its name). Thought you'd like the dark humour and thanks for reading the mammoth. Off to the community furniture shop to bag myself a desk, office chair and armchair so wishing you a jolly day and hoping you get the strange urge to drive down on Wednesday. All the best Richard

Hi Beeme, Come a little early. I'll be at the door so tap my shoulder and we can ask Capt Tony if you could read early on and then you can enjoy the rest of the evening. It's so laid back and there's no sweaty spotlights. I wasn't nervous first time but I'd read the story alot that day, tweaked it and really honed in on it, on the bus, at a cafe, everywhere I went. If it's short, try and memorise it. People love watching readers who don't need to read. If you prefer sitting down, sit and read. If you want to stand, then stand. Believe in yourself and you won't have a problem. You love writing so show how much you love it by reading it with love. All the best Richard

Poodles. I just put what I thought was a comment to you on the forum by mistake. Memory failure of how to do things. That said, I wanted to say that while we don't get to choose our Mums, we wouldn't be here without them. It's taken all 45 years for me to come to accept my family, warts and all. I enjoyed this piece alot

I saw a thing about PG Wodehouse on the box the other day and now a referral. I'd never given him a second's thought but I like to act on coincidence (plus I respect your view) so shorts by PGW are on my radar. Thanks Barry. All the best Richard

I thought I liked the poem too, but then I didn't. I liked the switch a third the way down but then it went the way of many. It certainly provoked heated discussion, most of which was a ping-pong match of egos mashed on a bad day, it seemed, some trying to justify their faith, which I find difficult to swallow. When I write about my higher power or God or whatever it is that people feel comfortable identifying as their saviour, I write to celebrate my faith, which withers and floats away from time to time, usually without me realising. Writing brings me back to the love and to acceptance. misinterpreting Jesus is a very human trait and all part of the journey for a great many, including me. I thought I was Jesus Christ in my Paris days. I'm not ashamed of this because I was honestly trying to make a difference and I believe I did get a very, very small part of the way. Most call it delusion. I call it a calling. At least I acted on it in the best way I could at the time but I was drunk, drugged and lost so you can imagine the scenario. It's strange that you say that that Jesus saved me for something. It's usually that He saved one from something, but that's immaterial perhaps. The fact is you're a true believer and I respect that. You're also open-minded, which puts you way up there in my book as a reader of true faith. If anyone took offence to the poem, it may be that they didn't or couldn't see the content for what it was, such was their own unswerving form of belief in Jesus. Just to have His name attached to such a violent-minded character would be enough for most to fume in anger, as you're well aware, and I wholly agree that it was an attempt to highlight the frailty of human spirit. Its coarseness tipped the balance for many, but it's sure that it hit nerves centrally, and for that, it's done its job because it may have brought a few people closer to their own truth and that the journey never ends until the day we stop breathing. I applaud your keeping your faith private, but there's a saying in AA that 'we only stay sober by passing the message to other alcoholics'. That takes courage, but it must be experientially done. Telling an alcy to stop drinking, you twat! will lead him to another drink. It's by telling it how it was for me, and is now without a drink, to other alcies that they begin to see themselves. It's sneaky but it's the only way that truly works, because denial is such a powerful force and alcohol is a cunning enemy that acts like your best buddy. We'll both find a happy medium in time, I'm sure. I don't do enough AA service, especially when I'm hacked off, but when I do try and help a newcomer, I feel better instantly. I can't afford to keep my faith in because if I don't try and pass it on, I'll be back down the pub. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance and I think that there's plenty more good times to come! All the best to you Richard

I'm totally bowled over by all these comments. Three people have made my world seem like heaven. Thank you thank you thank you mille fois

I like this too. It reads well and says alot, mostly that the well off are quite happy for the rest of us to blame and shame each other in a morose merry go round so long as they can holiday and live in detached luxury. Just the way it is

'God is always reprieved'/ 'and love's too brief'? 'It's my only appeal' could do with something else, maybe to do with being rewired to give off a shock. Nice poem full of hissing spit and jittery eyebrows.

Thanks to all you lovely ladies!

Nice. A poem as a set of instructions that immediately transport you back to childhood. Witty and clever, this could also serve as an analogy of just how bored and immature adults seem to be at present. Hey, maybe some are cutting up bits of paper right now!

i had a similarly awful time on Saturday night just gone. I'm in Italy near Perugia and my friends took me and 25 others to an extravagant costume party. When we arrived, a film cameraman came up to me and his light glared. I was dressed as Doge (the Venetian priest) with all the frills and people were looking at me from all angles. i haven't had a drink or spliff for six months and I haven't been to a party for donkeys. I froze and felt so self-conscious I really wanted to die on the spot. I couldn't get out of this morose state for hours. I couldn't move and honestly thought it would never pass and that I should do away with myself. The usual headache came and I suddenly realised I could sit down and watch as others partied, and the deathly thoughts subsided. The next day, though, I felt a sense of accomplishment, just getting through the night without falling for the drink and getting smashed to block the pain. Love and loss had a similar effect on me at 19. When I lost my first girlfriend I was convinced my life was over. I saw her image everywhere and couldn't be me any more. But time's a healer. We have to weather the storm and dust ourselves down again for the next battle in life. Imagine a life with no ups and downs. Awful. Enjoy the highs and suffers the lows. It gets better, especially if one can learn from mistakes and seek others who sincerely wish to share their problems to confide in. Happiness isn't everything, but enjoying the happy times is crucial. Stick at it and all will be well.

Hi Nick, I've sniffed about but always come straight back to Abc. I honestly don't think there's a site like it in the world. Stick with the winners. All the best Richard

Hi John, Open to abuse (I mean misinterpretation), and crying out for an update now that stories can be posted as stories (now there's a thing). Please, Capt Tony, replace the above italics with something like 'The best way to get feedback for your work is to read and comment on stories that you find interesting. This will encourage writers who have received your feedback to take a look at your work. To give is to get, and while it may seem a shrewd option to post stories as forum topics, this is more likely to quietly offend, as serious members of the site tend to avoid this kind of self-promotion like the plague.' Are you coming next week? Hope to see you there. All the best Richard

I'm with Geoffrey. It's light relief, a bit anal but harmless enough. I thought there'd been a dip in quality on Abc the last few months but there again, I haven't had a cherry for about that long... I think my honeymoon period with Abc is over now but it lasted over a year, which is better than my record with girls. I usually get bored after a few months. Now I need to get back on track and write something special. Cliques don't work for me but it's good to click with other writers. I don't think there's much point in dssing the editors or questioning their opinion. My qualms with politics get me really down but I feel a need to post my anger. The problem is, it drains me, but it's worth it if it resounds or positively informs just one person.

I stayed at the Beverley Laurel (above Swingers) for a while and out of the bog-window was the Hollywood sign in big brash letters, but LA's a dump, a broken, loveless, low-level fart of a place, unless you can smile in your sleep, lie through your teeth, cheat on your best friend and perform sexual favours to blubber whales under large leather desks. Nice poem.

That cafe was a labour of unfathomable love and I liked the twist when Annie was introduced and not Nettie. It's a sad story of a gritty man and a plucky lady whose paths were destined to part. I thought that the love would end up unrequited till Annie came along. She was the icing. I still have dreams about one particular girlfriend that I managed to lose through drugs and I can't help thinking of her, not constantly but enough to keep on driving me to succeed, perhaps in the hope of reuniting. Gotta have dreams. Typo: not 100% sure but I think there should be an e at the end of confidant. I enjoyed reading this.

I get it. Hell's a Labour Party conference with Milliband as Lucifer and Heaven's a Tory Party conference with Dave as Jesus and Nick as Pius. One man's Hell is another man's Heaven. Unfortunately, as with politics, they're equally abysmal.

That really reminded me of A Child Called IT. Harrowing and real, if this is fiction, you've hit the spot.

Dads, huh? Who'd have 'em? I'm a bit t'ick and had to refind whose Dad had been at the Kwai. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe all Dads are the same. Maybe that's how you feel about men. History does that; it sticks in the mind and can hurt. This writing smells of good things to come. Congrats.

Thanks for all the lovely comments.

Kneed with delicious vim into the very heart of being, leaving a pockmarked bruise on the thighs of sagging mothers as they sit jagged-lipped looking at themselves in specially cracked mirrors as they lament their deformed shape borne from the burden of graceful purpose. Honestly though, all I know is that I don't properly understand this but I have the distinct impression that this is probably the most brilliant poem I've read in a good while. When I went to reread it, knowing that I'd understood very little, the power of each sentence (those I kind of understand, I think) is awesome. This needs attention, not for correction but for the eyes of the many readers on this site to gorge upon. All the best Richard

I second that emotion. The world's run on falsehood and disarming fear, the rich mopping up the leftovers of the masses like fat, conniving vultures with the ones who think they're 'better off than most' rearranging their greased feathers. Shame we don't have the collective guts to burn the real criminals. We could watch them pop their clogs over and over on Discovery. It's 'lava', not 'larva'. Well written.

Excellently cooked as always, Insert, and a glutenous concoction of two almost immortal cartoon characters bubbling over the edge from a cauldron fuelled by borrowed spirits. Something tells me this may be developing into a pretty dark story, but it's probably just fear for Zach and Sheherezade. Kit gives me the creeps. I feel that Z and S are way out of their depth (and without a comfort zone, by the sound of things) to be putting all their eggs into Marnie's basket again. One more blackout. It's an intriguing story and also a bit of a tease because nothing seems to move on, though I wish it was only fiction. Take it as a good sign that I'm getting emotionally involved. It's what I do with an unputdownable book. Marnie sounds like a very complex character who keeps her cards close to her chest. All is not as it may seem, or maybe I've watched too many Tales of the Unexpected. Good luck Richard

Fair play. The wicked can carry secrets to their graves without a moment's thought, but the good have to let them out to get along. Better to know what happened, perhaps, than having damage locked away so well that it can't be uncovered. Will read 3 and 4 shortly. Thanks for replying.

This is my favourite piece for a long while and by a lengthy chalk. Funny, carefree, guiltless nihilism/existentialism, and from a woman! Doubly good. Reminds me of so many wicked adoloescent memories... 'a romantic wank' hits it in a very male way, but packs even more punch from a female voice. I wrote a really long post to you earlier but just as I was finishing, it said 'Access denied' and wiped it out as it does from time to time at the moment. Before it happens again, I just want to say that this is my story of the week, whether the editors think the same doesn't matter. I really hope you have enough gall to sit and write a novel because I'd read it if it had the same tone and power as this, plus with a story of course, however sub-plotty. I reckon you could go on and on in a stream-of-thought way. X-rated whimsy has a new star! All the best, Richard