celticman's blog

Watching Celtic playing Barcelona is the willing suspension of disbelieve. Before the game I confidently predicted we’d get beaten 3-0, or 4-0. But I’m not to be trusted. I secretly hoped we’d win, or at least not get beaten by very much. A draw would have been a bit like Farah Fawcett leaving your room because you’d smelly feet and finding Cheryl Ladd snuggled up next to you as you watched the footie. We might not have had Charlie’s Angels but...

Anyone familiar with Channel 5 knows that Moses walking through the desert for 40 years, with adverts about manna, and cool daddy god, he’d have taken considerably longer, probably about 120 years plus VAT. So I braced myself up and girded my loins to watch this. I must admit to being a bit of an apocalypse fan. And let’s face it every Sunday is. I liked Cormac Mc Carthy’s ‘The Road’, the book that is, and the film, less so. I missed the first...

I must admit to having no idea who Paul Carrack is. I know from the time slot he’s got something to do with popular music. Friday nights, that’s when BBC 4 gives music a spin. My thoughts were more on the man with the golden boot, Garth Bales. He’s not a Welsh tenor. He’s a football player, but it wasn’t really fair to play him against Scotland. Needless to say Scotland looked like winning. They looked like getting an honourable draw and then...

Cuckoo in the nest. Get it? That’s the premise of this comedy. Robert Lindsay was a kind of cuckoo in Citizen Smith and later the father of a couple of cuckoos with Zoe Wanamaker in My Family. Even old Del Boy with his three wheel van, Independent Trotter firm, and would be entrepreneurial ways, was a kind of cuckoo to the straight Trotter family. So this would be Cuckoo (played by Andy Samberg) to a straight middle-class family is played for...

I watched the BAFTA winning Welcome to Logos, with current projections of India (not China) becoming the most populous nation on earth this gives a camera’s eye look at the bottom, the shit heap, of the pile. I mean no disrespect. The camera follows one entrepreneur who sweeps the Kolkati streets in which jewellers wash their bodies and clothes for dust. Gold dust. He shares a room with fifty others, who all do the same thing. Their landlord...

Dr Pamela Cox talks us through what it was like to be a servant during the industrial revolution. The good servant had to be invisible, omnipotent, omniscient and know his or her place. The master was always right, even when he was wrong. It wasn’t just the aristocracy that had servants. The growth in industry led to an affluent middle class. To avoid the drudgery of housework and to retain any degree of social status they too had to employ...

Directed and written by Ferzan Ozpeteck. BBC 4 I’m the kind of saddo that watches most of his programmes on BBC 4. I started with Wallander and became something of a Wallander junkie. I even watched the British attempts. Then there was the twenty hours of The Killing. Yeh, I was transfixed by every episode. The only thing that could run it close is the recent episodes of The Accused (on BBC 1) which have been the best thing on telly this year...

Let’s try and sell this idea. You get a guy that's like an American gangster. I’m thinking Robert de Niro here, but someone a lot cheaper. So we get Steven Van Zandt. We put him in the witness protection programme, but we don’t send him to Detroit or New Jersey, we send him to Lilyhammer. Get it. That’s in Norway. It’s not a gangster in New York. It’s a gangster in Lilyhammer. Not surprising the locals don’t understand him. They speak Norwegian...

I like Jimmy McGovern. I like The Accused. His production company creates a drama and sells it to BBC. They give it a prime spot. Prime billing. I watched the last series. It’s formulaic. Someone’s ‘The Accused’ and the first question that needs to be answered is who? The flip side of this is who is the non-Accussed? Because the dead don’t make good witnesses it’s usually the guy or girl that has been seen in the opening scenes, but is no longer...

The Bank Job (2008) Film 4 is a Jason Statham film, which means it’s going to be bad. As bad as as a Steve Seagal? As bad as a Schwzenegger or any of those other kung-fu kind of action heroes –I’m thinking Van Damme, Vin Diesel and all the other white Van lads- that are so bad they are actually quite good? Well it wasn’t too bad, which says nothing at all. I’m not going to spoil the film by telling you the story. Most Stathan films are just one...