He Should Have Listened

"Stop coughing so much!" she said. "I can't help it!" he said. He coughed and his head exploded.

"Stop sticking your finger in your ear!" she said. "I can't help it!" he said. He stuck his finger in his ear and the alien who was living inside his...

"Stop biting your fingernails!" she said. "I can't help it!" he said. He bit his fingernails, then his fingers, his hand, his arm, his other arm, his...

"Stop eating all the cheese!" she said. "I can't help it!" he said. He ate all the cheese and the next day he woke up and he was a Frenchman.

"Stop ignoring me!" she said. ... She left him.