A Portrait of the Artist as an Old Man

All sorts of stuff has happened to me during the course of my lifetime so far. It's not all been good but it's not all been bad either and in any event I can always find something to raise a smile. So I'm writing it all down and putting it here ... slowly ... so bear with me if you will ... please!

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Pick of the Month

Chocolate, Tobacco and Horse Muck

Each day, as the factory whistle blew at noon, he dashed leisurely home from work on his bicycle to have his dinner because dinner was always eaten...
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Time (Clock of The Heart)

‘That one’s five hundred quid mate, but I could probably let you have it for four eighty,’ said the very gaunt looking man pointing to the clock that...
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Keeping Teeth and Kidneys for Beginners

According to my team of researchers, Bulgaria has the cheapest beer in the world. At least one bottle of rakia, that well known cure-all,...
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Story of the week

The Jammy Tax Dodger

When I’m settling up for what I owe when leaving a restaurant, disembarking from a taxi, admiring my newly coiffured curls in the mirror at Stanislav...
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Back in the M.A.F.F. - Part One of Two

It was the first time I’d ever been asked the question ‘Are you allergic to silage?’ at a job interview. I couldn’t give a definitive answer because...
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Back in the M.A.F.F. - Part Two of Two

My dear colleague, Colin the Contortionist, really was called Colin but he was employed by the M.A.F.F. more as a Scientific Officer than as a...
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Story of the week
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Children of the Absolution

A recollection of thoughts I had during my childhood in the 1960s. I intended writing them down long before now but I was always terrified to death at the thought of the potential consequences.
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Story of the week

Bill or Bob?

If William Shakespeare and Bob Marley had a fight, who do you think would win? There’s only one way to find out…
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My Döner and Chide

The surprises that turn up in your pocket of a Thursday morning.
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