French Lessons

Oh I don't know. The problem I always had with French was where to put the letters.

Not much civility in my local Sainsbury's today... I was perusing the ready-meals when a trolley more than clipped my shopping basket. The pin-striped male tart driving the trolley carried on without so much as a civil apology. "Sorry!" I boomed - heavy on irony - to which pin-striped tart looked back and said, with a sneer, "That's ok". Later, I saw said tart bent over, checking the quality of the plums. After nudging his trolley so that it rammed his rear end I flashed the Robert's dentures and said: "Sorry", which somehow helped to make the day feel complete. Come to think of it, he had a bit of a French air about him...certainly wasn't an honest English chappie...

Revenge is best served with plums?

His plums?

British drivers are, compared to the french, and italian, and anywhere else in europe or in the world.

British drivers are.....what, lola ? (Plummier, perhaps ?)

These would be the same british drivers who try to drive straight through poor cyclists as they make their honest way to and from work, or perhaps the ones who's passengers lean out of their windows to strike us on the back of the head. Luckily both missed.

thats what they invented cycle helmets for Dan. the proof of our good manners is that here when we flash our lights it is to say "you go first," or "after you". Everywhere else in europe it says "I'm coming through so stand back if you want to keep your bumpers" also if you dare to be still stationary for the first thousandth of a second of green light they will slam on their horns as if you've just got out with a picnic and sun lounger. don't get me started on driving manners and basic road skills, we have more than enough total arseholes behind the wheel on our own roads to be worried about the roads elsewhere.

Some sort of spiked helmet might have helped with the idiot leaning out of his window this morning. The driver last night was definitely aiming for my legs.

Just tried to email you, Hox, but it bounced back unopened. Last night, I heard that slippers are this year's Ugg boots (i.e intensely fashionable amongst beautiful people). Ahead of your time.

OH? So why aren't I a member of the beautiful people? I have a much treasured pair of pure sheepskin ones (without the plastic crap stuck on the bottom) purchased in Harlech. My ex took the piss out of them continually - it was evidently not meant to last.

"Last night, I heard that slippers are this year's Ugg boots (i.e intensely fashionable amongst beautiful people" Where did you hear that Andrew, did they mention what kinds e.g. silk? I have been thinking of stocking some on my website..

Apparently not tartan, but there was mention of those ones with heels and fluffy bits that Doris Day et al used to wear in the Fifties. I'd love the Fifties to come back as a look - men in suits and women with pointy sweaters. (We'd have to add eighties lipgloss, natch) I've just remembered, on a slipper-nostalgia note, the sheer soaring joy of kicking a football inside the house whilst wearing slippers and having the slipper come off your foot and spiral through the air like Kubrik's opening to 2001... The things I broke in my house playing football indoors - I once smashed a vase, picked up the cat, plonked her feet in the flowerbed to get them muddy and then walked her along the relevant mantlepiece like a cat-foot stamp...

And if that doesn't convince Lisa-from-Tenby that I'm actually a bloke, then nothing will. Short of me taking a trip to Tenby and smearing her lipgloss.

I have slippers which look like Ugg boots... if this is true emily, how happening am i then?

At last! The prophet is recognised in his own land. *puts on best faux koala-skin anklehuggers in celebration*

You've always been very cool, Liana. You just have appalling taste in men, that's all. *grins*