Charlotte Bliss by polidori

I think its great. The only flaw I see is the italics, which seems a needless distraction. (Not sure why Polidori did that.) I also like Cordelia's toys. It was one of the first things I ever read here at ABC tales and it definitely set the pace for future readings at this site. http://www.abctales.com/node/546579 Where else can you read stuff like this?

Thank you for flagging ‘Charlotte Bliss’, this actually means quite a lot to me. Tony, I understand completely what you mean but think I may be able to throw some light on to the ‘so almost’ element it suffers from. This is a very brief extract from my novel in which this chapter sets the reader up into sympathizing with Charlotte, but at the same time it plants a few clues that later reveal why she is such a deliciously unpleasant person. In short, I’m setting the reader’s character judgement up for a fall, or I’m attempting to anyway. I also omitted an extract from ‘Elegy XIX: To His Mistress Going To Bed’ by John Donne from the end, as I was afraid that for such a short extract this would come across as overkill. In case of interest, the missing extract is: Unlace yourself, for that harmonious chime Tells me from you, that now it is bed time. Off with that happy busk, which I envy, That still can be, and still can stand so nigh. Your gown going off, such beautious state reveals, As when from flowry meads th’hill’s shadow steals. Off with that wiry Coronet and show The hairy Diadem which on you doth grow: Now off with those shoes, and then safely tread In this love’s hallow’d temple, this soft bed. Charles, I hate the italics too, unfortunately I couldn’t reproduce Byron’s original line lay out, which on A4 format gives the piece a great visual impact, but was desperate to find someway of reproducing an outside voice; a ghost from the past if you like. I found this so frustrating that I almost didn’t post it. In the novel I attempt to unite the past and the present, and although not evident from ‘Charlotte Bliss’, the work centres around 18th–early 19th century gothic romances. This practically forgotten, often ridiculed genre is not only the foundation of modern horror, and in particular films, but it also provides the building blocks for the English novel. For those unenlightened but interested check out: Charlotte Dacre, Matthew Lewis and Ann Radcliffe. Just as a point of interest, when researching my work I was amazed at the wealth of female writers working during 18th–early 19th century. One can only conclude that those prudish narrow minded Victorians stifled and smothered so much good work, full of originality and imagination, as it was proving to be an embarrassment to their ideology and concept of the role of women in society. Once again, thank you.

Thanks Tony, Obviously I feel the work is readable, but others will ultimately be the judge of that. I also hope I have managed to engage a modern reader with the fantastic array of past works that are too easily neglected or dismissed as irrelevant. It’s not the language that proved the biggest hurdle but the pace. You’ve given me a much needed injection of confidence as I’m supposed to be sitting here writing a cover letter for agents - and getting nowhere fast. Back to it . . .

The Byron poem added a very cool literary depth to the story. You write: "At the same time it plants a few clues that later reveal why she is such a deliciously unpleasant person." Totally clear to me. This ambivalence is what I found most compelling. The girl is obsessively self-centered (probably suffering from a poor self-image.) She's probably a total bitch. Yet she is so alluring. The whole awkwardness of the situation is imposed upon the guy's reluctant but undeniable desire for her. Without the poem, this powerful romantic idea wouldn't be as clear. And your last line is the best-- they will go to the sacrificial altar of love, as we suspected they must. <i> Err -- Not wanting to harp -- (it seems pretty petty of me) -- what if you bracket just the poetry in italics, like this? Would that work? </i> I don't want to dwell on that, because I can definitely live with the current formatting (especially now I know why you did it.) In fact, it's probably better not to make any changes. I've got you book marked and will be watch for more.

your use of imagery is breathtaking, ty. Self-conscious in a room that possessed beige opinions set against a bleached magnolia landscape. Juliet

Hi Juliet, not just “cos I thought it polite to say thanks, but to also let you know I’ve been dipping into your: ‘World Without Men’ and really enjoying it. Pretty much the same for Charles too. Brackets; no brackets; italics - it’s much of a muchness really and can’t make up for the disappointment of it not looking as I had hoped. Ho Hum! ‘Sonnet for Polly’ suffered a similar fate as now it has 16 lines! I really liked your profile - I’ve done what I suspect most people do and copped out.