Happy Slapper Slapped!

It's a shame he didn't kick him in the bollocks and steal his phone too.

O wig wig wig wig wiggins, lay a little egg for me. Wig wig wig wig wiggins, I want one for my tea. I haven't had an egg since Easter And now it's half past three. So wig wig wig wig wiggins, lay a little egg for me. I'm calling bullshit on this one, for three distinct reasons: First, it's a perfect meme, for the middle-aged and paranoid - ho ho ho, our out of control yoof yobbos get the clip round the ear they so richly deserve! Brilliant! Secondly, are you saying the supposedly knocked-out Happy Slapper distributed a movie file that makes him look like a twat? Thirdly, it comes via Karl 'OMG PLEASE FORWARD THIS EMAIL' Wiggins, who still believes that armed gangs are driving round London killing anyone who flashes their headlights, and blue Smarties give you AIDS.

Blue smarties don't give you AIDs, they are actually just valiums.

Oh hell, really? I thought they were LSD. So it wasn't a hallucination. Oops.

of course, if it were real, the video would be on the internet... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x97VLJBFWuo http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-2137321_1,00.html

The only evidence The Times have got is that video clip. All the article does is describe what happens in the clip. It's well fake. That's the joy of video phones - the quality of the footage is so shite that you don't have to worry about it looking convincing.

I don't see what's so unbelievable, a bloke hit another bloke who hit him back, then his mate declined to delete the video and protect his dignity, or, three blokes colluded to act out an only faintly funny fake video in order that one of them could look like a dickhead.

It's not the idea, it's the way the whole thing is acted out. It feels semi scripted and the way he is lying at the end of the video in "I've just been punched out" pose. It's not often that a punch actually lays someone out stone cold. In reality, I don't think it would all have happened so quickly either. You'd expect a scuffle or a stand off or something. And the video guy calmly filming it all - I just don't buy it. And the main character strikes me as a pastiche of a chav, not the real thing. Joe

true or not...hardly the point...it probably happens a fair deal and to have it re-constructed in a national newspaper would probably do as much damage to the reps these knobs perceive themselves to have than a punch in the face. Hear my music: http://music.download.com/3600-5-100795586.html

You might well be right, I can't watch the thing properly at work, but it seems a fairly elaborate hoax for no obvious reason, and when you think about it, a fairly dull one. Occam's razor would suggest it is real. It is, after all, something that must happen on occasion. That video of the DEA officer shooting himself in the foot though, that's hillarious and definitely true.

'Occam's razor would suggest it is real...' Think you just cut yourself shaving there, Maddan. The internet is full of elaborate crap with no obvious reason for exisitng. 'It is, after all, something that must happen on occasion.' It's that flawed rationale, coupled with a desire for a funny or pleasing story to actually be true, that accounts for the continued currency of most urban legends. It seems to me like a very crappy 'spoof' that's happened to tap into middle England's perennial rich seam of anger, paranoia and stupidity.

Don't knock "middle England's perennial rich seam of anger, paranoia and stupidity" That's what made Britain great.

That and queuing.

only some of the following videos are not true http://youtube.com/watch?v=RjrEQaG5jPM http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1183904817279114761&q=DEA&pl=true http://www.stillfree.com/ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLBogthhmjQ&search=lambretta

From the Times article: "Incidents have ranged from minor assaults to the killing of Soho barman David Morley in a gang attack on the South Bank in London in October 2004, all recorded and circulated on mobile phones." I don't know if David Morley was middle aged or paranoid, just that he's dead. I know that killing for kicks predates mobile phones by some time - see early mobile friezes of lions munching christians - "happy slapping" just takes the tradition into the 21st century.

My opinion - I think the clip is complete bollocks, but unlike spack I do not think they are pretend chavs.

I must really be out of the loop, or perhaps out of the loopy. Never heard of happy slapping, though from the name I thought it had something to do with 'slappers' of the female variety. Now that would have been interesting, but I don't want to waste bandwidth looking at some guys slapping each other. "You don't need the light of the Lord to read the handwriting on the wall." Copies of Warsaw Tales available through www.new-ink.org

It's a ruse to sell 'happy slapping' to a wider audience. Watching videos of people belting one another was previously considered a recreation purely for yobs and uncultured swine. But now, thanks to a clever marketing decision that reversed the roles of slapper and slappee, we can all enjoy the fun.

Karl Wiggins. I possibly cannot get involved. You may all think that he is a supercunt. But hey, I cannot possibly comment. Smashing. x

'Supercunt'. Love it. Great phrase. I don't think Karl is anything of the sort, however. A bit gullible, perhaps, but hey - not a hanging offence.

"Karl Wiggins. I possibly cannot get involved" Is this a 'spot the misplaced adverb' comp? or a 'who can use the word 'possibly' twice in one post' comp? Supercunt yourself, tosser. (An interesting video title although karl, no doubt, already owns it) :-)

It seems to me that this was just another thread started in the hopes it would stimulate some sensible discussion, (my post was meant to be humourous but in light of the subsequent attacks on Karl, I guess it wasn't). Why it's been transformed into a 'let's kick the crap out of Karl' fest, I have no idea. Perhaps it's because no one had anything interesting to add? As for you Ralph, it's about time you stopped this stupid antagonism that's rooted in your past quarrel with Karl. We're ALL open to being called a cunt on this site for various reasons. There's nothing to be gained by you opening old wounds and behaving like a yob. You can all say whatever you fucking well wish about me I don't give a toss., though you're more likely to get a reaction out of me than Karl.

So yet another thread is turning into a free for all slagging of session, surprise surprise, mind you it must have been at least a week since the last. nobody

I don't think the thread transformed into a 'let's kick the crap out of Karl' at all, Missi - Karl posted a story he'd read in the paper, presumably because he'd enjoyed it and thought others would too. I posted saying I thought the story was a load of bullshit. Nearly all the posts have been about defending or debunking the story - nothing to do with Karl at all. Sure, I think Karl ought to be more circumspect regarding things he reads in the paper, but that's fair comment, isn't it? Anyway, no offence intended.

Well Tim, maybe I misintepreted your post, but I have to say that, 'it comes via Karl 'OMG PLEASE FORWARD THIS EMAIL' Wiggins', coupled with your 'smartie' remark seems to be marinated in scornful derision. The item Karl posted about was in all the papers so no doubt most people read one account or another regarding it. Maybe it IS all bullshit, maybe it's not, but surely a discussion on Happy Slapping and the right of the victim to retaliate would have led to a more acceptable thread? Do I sound pompous and self-righteous here? I must be getting old. There have been several members over the years since the birth of the forum that have been targeted by abuse. I've dished some of it myself, and still do from time to time (well, everytime that dumbfuck Slimey talks crap, anyway), so personally I don't take exception to receiving some BUT, Karl has mostly behaved himself and rarely been abusive (apart from the Ralph/pseudonyms debacle, which I thought had died out at least 2years ago). He may be unpopular with some folk, as am I, but his only crime has been to start threads and tell it like he sees it. If his opinions are seen as facile that's ok too, but to call him a 'supercunt' for NO apparent reason is a bit much. Your endorsement of the sobriquet suggests that you too think he's one, Tim, especially as you go to pains to say you don't. Jon's appraisal of RD (on another thread) is similarly debatable. He's never met the guy, in fact NO ONE here has ever met him apart from myself. I found the guy good company, (not just because he insisted on paying for lunch) and as much fun as anyone I've ever met on ABC. He was intelligent and we had an interesting discussion over lunch. As has been said many times on the forum, meeting someone face to face frequently changes opinions and feelings about an antagoniser/disliked person. Quite recently AG remarked that in the event of her and I meeting I might even like her. Well, whilst that isn't beyond the realms of possibility I'll reserve my judgement until such a time occurs. Jon would do well to re-examine his own personality before slagging someone elses. It might be said that I should do the same, especially where a couple of my 'traditional' enemies here are concerned. Surprisingly I have!

Okay, Missi, point taken. You're right to think I was taking the piss out of Karl with my initial comment, but I didn't think I'd overstepped the mark, and, as you point out, it's certainly no worse than many of the comments you've made about people in the past. I did find the sobri-wotsit 'Supercunt' amusing, but don't think Karl's one - and I naively assumed he wouldn't rise to the obvious bait. I realise it might have sounded like I was being sarcastic, but I wasn't. I'd like to think I can call someone out for saying something - in my humble and perhaps demonstrably false opinion - slightly prattish without it being interpreted as an expression of hatred or a personal attack. I realise that Ralph's subsequent comment, mired as it is in the long and convoluted saga that is Wigginsgate, muddied the waters somewhat. Incidentally, I have met Karl, and liked him a lot. I even bought him a pint. As a show of good faith, I hereby waive the pint he owes me in return.

Missi. Even after you've met someone - even after you've known them for years - they can still claim you don't know them. So there's no point in me reserving judgement on RD. I'm sure he was perfectly amiable when you met him - wealthy, well-fed Westerners generally are. But this is no more a measure of a man than their presence on Internet forums. I'm always able to re-evaluate someone if they prove I've got them wrong. There is nothing unusual about being wrong, and there is always time to make amends. So until he stops projecting the personality of a smug git, there's no need for me to regard him as anything else. What I find so repugnant about him is exactly what so many people find repugnant about his president: he seems to so thoroughly believe in his own inate intelligence and goodness that he doesn't ever *try* to be intelligent or good. That evaluation will stand until I see him make some attempt to be thoughtful or decent. Something that, incidentally, I think you yourself make an effort to do on a regular basis in the forum these days.

Jon, without wishing to re-ignite the animosity that existed between the two of us in the past, and developing this thread beyond it's already pointlessness, I believe you need reminding of a few pertinent points. Firstly, like the rest of us here, you are not the arbiter of anything, least of all who is a decent person and who is not. Secondly, I doubt there is anyone here beyond the parish boundary of Norwich that gives a flying fuck what you think of anyone, not RD, not me, not ANYONE. I respect Tim's reassurance that he meant no real harm and just misjudged the reaction to his post. He, at least, has the decency to admit when he may have made an error of judgement and can try to repair the harm done, something in all too short supply on the forum. I also accept that 'I' have been abusive in the past, in defence of either myself or a maligned opinion, (and will be again as and when I think it fits the bill), that doesn't make me right, just human, though maybe one who doesn't know when to shut his big mouth sometimes. You obviously feel 'it fits the bill' at the moment, and maybe even for the forseeable future, to be abusive toward RD. All you prove is that you are no better than the rest of us, and yet you constantly infer that you are. As for 'his' president, he was democratically elected which means that the majority of voters, (however that works in the USA), WANTED him as their president. It may be that the majority of Brits think he's a disgrace, but he's still 'their' president, and I might add, no worse than several prime ministers elected by our own people (Margaret Thatcher springs immediately to mind, a megalomanic bitch if ever there was one). I might point out that most people if not all, believe they are basically good, you do so yourself. I'm not suggesting that you aren't by the way, just that your accusation has no real meaning in the 'good v bad' context. You think you're good, I think I am and no doubt RD thinks he is. Is there something wrong with that? Your final comment is just coincidence. I don't spend much time here these days partly because I find many newer members contributions to the forum more suitable for a teenage glee club newsletter. There's always going to be some head-butting and horn-locking in any social group and those that either have no stomach for it or would try to exclude it's existence are not living in the real world.

"Firstly, like the rest of us here, you are not the arbiter of anything, least of all who is a decent person and who is not." Everyone is an arbiter. Everyone makes judgements. I can and will make mine, as you will yours. "All you prove is that you are no better than the rest of us, and yet you constantly infer that you are." No, I don't. I'm not the one who piously opines that using this site is like watching a bunch of backyard dogs scrap. Unlike RD, I have never implied, inferred, or made even the vaguest suggestion that I am better, in any respect. The only reason I can think that you'd believe I do is that I don't soften my opinions, or counter criticisms with false modesty. As for apologising when I'm wrong, I've done so countless times, but you have yet to prove I'm wrong about Denver. Your portrayal just doesn't match the figure we have here, on this site. Remember the Jasper thread? Before knowing anything about the man, or taking the time to understand people's opinions, RD had already lambasted *everyone* who was against Jasper. With sweeping, self-righteous judgement he basically told everyone on that thread that they were no better than pack animals preying on some poor scapegoat. This wasn't because he liked or respected Jasper. He just leapt on the chance - as he has again in Karl's thread - to try and look like some noble defender of decency. He is quite happy to lower himself to childish insults one minute, then lambast everyone for doing the same in the next. Sure, I play the insult game too, but I defy you to find one instance where I have reprimanded everyone else for doing that, or suggested that such behaviour is beneath me. RD likes to shoot for both sides. "You think you're good, I think I am and no doubt RD thinks he is. Is there something wrong with that?" Yes. 'Good' isn't something you 'are'. It's more something you do. You cannot simply rest on your laurels and say, 'I am good. I don't need to prove it.' It isn't like a scout badge - you don't do a certain number of good deeds in your life, and then attain the status of a decent human being. It's the same with intelligence. You can't just go round thinking, 'I am intelligent, therefore my opinions are'. You have to *use* your intelligence when formulating an opinion, or an argument. I don't think I'm simply a good person. But I try to be. And as long as I *keep* trying, I will generally hope and expect that people see that. I resent people who seem to think they have earned the automatic status of being decent and intelligent, and can therefore do and say whatever they want without it having an impact on this status. If you act like an idiot, you are an idiot, no matter what your IQ is, or how many wonderful things you think you've done. And RadioDenver is someone who apparently thinks that no matter what he says or does, he is still a great guy. I say 'apparently' - but he's said it himself. On UKA a while back. I believe his claim was, "I am on your side, Hen, whether you like it or not." By which he means, unless you can put a different spin on it, that he thinks he's a good guy. In his delusional world, he's on the side of the angels, and I am too - although I'm one of the irascible 'foolish' good guys who is too stoopid to realise that smoking is a force for good, while tattoos and computer games are evil. Sorry for the long post, but that's how it is.

This is so good. Henny-boy What specific skill do you possess that makes you think you are more intelligent than anyone else? What specific life experience or special insight do you have that allows you to identify and quantify the character of an individual without ever having met them. What specific knowledge of me do you have that gives you the right to judge me, criticize me, and even further, hound me with your childish bullshit. I’ve talked from time-to-time about myself on the forums, same as most everybody else that frequents these forums. I’ve talked about some of my experiences in life, in minor detail, and I’ve been honest with everything I’ve discussed here and elsewhere. On occasion, people have queried me about certain aspects of my life, and I’ve obliged by answering their queries. Does it bother you that I have nice kids and have and continue to experience many many things in life, some very good, some horrible and don’t mind talking a little bit about it? Does it bother you that I’ve received a good education and that I make it a point to do interesting things every day of my life. Does it bother you that I’m an American and have a fairly high standard of living? Nothing I’ve got was given to me. Nothing I have is stolen from somebody else. Like other people here, I’m just a guy living my life to the fullest. What you know of me is exactly what I’ve told you, nothing more. I’ve told you nothing, therefore, you know nothing. But you go ahead and judge me and slander me, and behave like the childish little temperamental bitch that you are. I know that every night when my head hits the pillow, my conscience is clear and every day I wake up, I’m happy to be on this planet and that people like you will never experience what I experience because you’re too stupid or caught up in your own personal miseries to appreciate the better things life has to offer. Maybe that’s what upsets you, I don’t know…you tell me. I’ve witnessed you taking pot shots at others, for god know what reasons. George seems to have been a favorite of past, I seem to be your target of late. You dredge up shit that you imagine to be of importance, make grandiose statements and pontifications, then ultimately slide into the muck of calling somebody a jizz dribbler or something. You’re a real class act kid. About as classy as a drunk on a park bench that shits hisself while he asks you for money. You can’t hide it behind a vocabulary. You’re too stupid to realize it. Now, if you want, you can leave me alone, and I’ll return the favor. If not, I’ll return any ill will and foul thought you want. I’ve done it with the best. Authors note...this post was edited.

RD - I was genuinely with you all the way until the last sentence. "If anyone else wants to start in on me, go for it now, I’m loaded and locked. Otherwise, shut the fuck up and make nice with one another. (ohhh, my...is he being serious?)" We know you're serious. You're also arrogant. But there's no "ohhh, my" what a surprise about it. Joe

What gives me the right to make such judgements about you, RD? Every foul thing you have just said. Your conscience is clear when you hit the pillow because you have no conscience. Your idea of 'living life to the full' is behaving however you want to, without the slightest shred of thought towards whether it is the right thing to do or not. You're the kind of person who could easily kill someone and sleep soundly the same night. You're one stop short of being psychopathic. I will never know what you experience because my head is nowhere near as swollen with pride and self-adoration. Like most people, I often think, "Have I done the right thing?" or "What can I do to be a better person?" - questions which are alien to an ego as all-powerful as yours. You're a smug, arrogant, hypocritical, utterly loathsome individual who deserves every insult I have ever come up with, and then some. Those are the reasons I dislike you so much. No matter how much you try and twist it, it will come down to nothing else.

Jon, you need to see a doctor.

Maybe I should edit that last sentence. It does interupt the flow doesn't it?

I think a pitcher of Pimms with strawberries and mint and lots of ice sounds mighty fine right now. Anyone care to join me? It's Friday, after all...

I meant the last, last sentence. The one in brackets: (ohhh, my…is he being serious?) It's the judgement on how you think that we see you. It spoils everything.

ooooooh yes...but no but yes but no... can I just have the lemonade with the strawbs please... *puts on Enya CD!* jude visit my boring website http://www.judesworld.net

The thing I've noticed is that Jon always needs to have the last word. Of course, he is not exactly alone in that regard, just a bit more insistent than most, which partially accounts for some of these very long and tedious threads. Not sure why I'm adding to the problem here, but it's Friday and I just won a bid on Ebay for a brand new hard-boiled detective novel at a sinfully low price. It takes so little to make me happy. Now what I would really like to have on video is that lunch between RD and George. Where did that take place? "You don't need the light of the Lord to read the handwriting on the wall." Copies of Warsaw Tales available through www.new-ink.org

Jude, for you the lemonade is freshly squeezed, if you like, with a little fizzy water added, and some lovely, plump strawbs. Mint is optional, of course. *hands Jude the pitcher* Cheers! Care for a slice of Victoria sponge?

"The thing I've noticed is that Jon always needs to have the last word." That's fair comment. It's usually because there's always something in the latest reply that goes along the lines of a question, or a suggestion that my motivations and beliefs are anything other than what I've said them to be. But it's not as if I expect the last word will be mine. I check back precisely because I expect there to be a reply.

Victoria Sponge...ooooh yes please...the weekend has landed!!!! jude visit my boring website http://www.judesworld.net

I see your point spack...Actually though, I do think that whole last bit was over the top. I'm going to delete it. I was tempted to go into a Clint Eastwood routine there, but that's kinda cliche, and well, no telling what would have happened after that. Everyone, tell me...do I come across as arrogant? I really hope so.

RD, yeah sometimes, but there aint nothing wrong with that. I read your thread and if you are as you say and you've brought your kids up well etc then you've probaly got reason to be. Personally I imagine you as a Hunter Thompson type so if you aint don't shatter the illusion. But hey, whatever you must be pretty cool, an old man listening to Frank Zappa and shit, hey what more can be said. nobody

For what it's worth, I don't think you come across as arrogant at all (sorry to disappoint) but I do think you come across as a bit goofy in that somewhat confused which-way-did-they-go American 1960s arrested development sort of way. It's the whole American Graffitti Meets Full Metal Jacket syndrome that is the basis of so many lives in that generation. It's my generation as well--I just had a different experience, different reaction, and different outcome. Not better, just different. "You don't need the light of the Lord to read the handwriting on the wall." Copies of Warsaw Tales available through www.new-ink.org

You know something, I don't know how I come across, and honestly most of the time I don't care. I'm just trying to kill time. The best way to get people talking is to go for the gusto and assault their senses. If anybody wants to take me seriously, then can come spend time with me and judge for themselves. I don't have anything against Hen, other than the fact that I don't like him following me around and bitching about the stupid shit I say like it was something important. George has pictures btw...

I'm not following you around, and I don't comment on you just for the sake of it. It's just when I happen across things that rile me, I'm going to say something. I don't *like* getting riled.

Jon, if you were'nt so predictable, this would be funny as shit. Try mixing it up a little bit. When ya gonna learn boy? I think I'll make it a point to rile you up everytime I see you until you understand. I need the practice.

RD I forgot to add, you're funny, I mean that as well. nobody

http://www.freewebs.com/michaeljamestreacy/index.htm Steady on now, folks... hen/jon/jack/stoat/stone/bitch/slap is just trying to sell some sort of book or other... What I want to know is... and the most interesting question on ABCTales is... that when Radio (yeeehaaaah!) Denver and Misty City (wooohooo!) George met... was there any sexual tension? Come on now, lads... spill the beans (all cowboys eventually spill the beans). .. Is there any truth in the legend of Break-Ass-Mountain? * * * * * * * * All discerning posters please note that Mickleberry is just trying to steer literary minds away from sins of the literary flesh.

hahaha...v. funny MB! I had a wonderful weekend AG... it went from good to gooder after that lemonade ...I bought a new cafetiere so I can have real Turkish coffee, two pairs of jeans and 'Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots ' by the Flaming Lips (at the bargain price of 4.97 from Woolies)... and just about to have roast chicky for lunch...hooray jude visit my boring website http://www.judesworld.net