The Man In Avery

Just read your story and found it to be very entertaining. Starts off sweetly and takes a surprising turn which I love (I'm a sucker for gut-punch twists) and I think the uncomfortable or 'nasty' aspects were handled very well. You deal with it in an unflinching way without making it seem overdone and painful to read, which is a hard trick to master and a lot of horror authors could learn from it. There's a couple of bits at the start that I feel could do with some editing and the ending was maybe a little cheesy for me but these are niggles that are probably down to my impatience/sick mind. Overall a very good job.