Ing-er-land

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Ing-er-land

The quadrannual highlight of my football obsession is now well under way and our beautiful boys are not up to scratch.

On paper they are a good team but the heart refuses to beat.

Clearly the Rooney absence has been a blow but that appears to be on the wane (geddit?)

I think the problem is, and always has been, with Lampard and Gerrard in midfield. Both brilliant players, they find it difficult to operate in the centre of midlfield, with one back and one forward in alternating fashion.

That is why the struggling Swede's latest bout of substitutions may have found the answer - we make David Beckham play at right back!

That way we can allow Gerrard or Lampard to take up the right midfield position and Michael Carrick to come in as the holding midfield player. I would play Owen and Rooney up front to start with Crouch as the super sub - a new threat to a tiring opposing back four. You also have the option when pushing up to bring on Lennon and take off Carrick.

It makes sense to me. Bye bye Gary Neville...

Not sure. I mean it's one thing to have Becks at right back against a bunch of plucky lower-league journeymen. If he was facing the best wingers in the world, I'd imagine he'd be pretty likely to add to his collection of international red cards. The problem is that, in terms of balancing the side, Beckham doesn't fit. In theory, it would be better to drop him and have Carrick in a holding role in the middle and Gerrard or Lampard on the right. BUT no one apart from Beckham really looks like creating a goal at the moment. Rather Sven than me. No, on second thoughts, for £4million a year, rather me than Sven.

 

So far I've been able to watch matches out here in LA, but I can sense that as soon as the US get thrashed tomorrow the coverage is gonna dry up. As it is Americans are saying things like 'Why in hell d'ya wanna watch THAT crap when there's baskball and baseball on?' I tell 'em there's a whole wide world beyond the oceans that they've never even heard of. I've even had two guys look at me with wide-eyed expressions of incredulity and and ask me to confirm that it isn't just a rumour! Tony, don't be such a Jonah, we need positive support not premature excuses for failure.

 

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I've just watched Argentina thrash Serbia & Montenegro 5 or 6 nil. Oh shit! We are done for.

 

I saw bits of that game - and I think that S & M were truly awful. OK, the Argies weren't bad but we haven't seen them put under any pressure yet. Harry them in midfield and we'll see a different team. And just to be keep you interested - when did the side that started best ever win the World Cup? I can't think of a single time. As for Becks at full back - I'm still for it - I can see no other solution. It should have been tried before of curse - and would ha ve been if we'd coughed up and got a decent coach (not).
Beckham unbalances the side. He doesn't really get forward and beat players, so the right back's forced to hold (not that Carragher seemed to have any intention of going past him) and he can go walkabout to the middle leaving a big gap. I think either drop him and play Lennon or drop Lampard, play Lennon and move Beckham inside with more of a holding role. Peter Crouch does well coming a bit deeper for the ball as well as playing knock downs so let him do that and start with him and Owen. If you've taken Walcott, bloody play him in a safe game. And make John Terry captain. There you go. Now, where's my £4m?
"Joe Cole in a Zidane like role" ;o) 'mon the Tobago!
If we're going to win the world cup, we need someone to play a Martin Johnson role. If you followed the Rugby World Cup you know the look which says to the opposition "cross that line and you're dead meat", and says to his team mates "give less than 100% and you're dead meat as well."
If we're going to win the world cup, were not going to win it by piddling about with the formation, we're going to win it the same way we won the rugby world cup, by belief and discipline, and by playing whatever ugly uninspiring brand of football gets us more goals than the other team. The players are all good enough to do it, frankly they just need a little less respect for the opposition, the newspapers, the fans, the game, everything but each other.

 

Winning the rugby world cup usually involves throwing a ball about while most of the world look the other way in indifference. The last RWC turned into the Superbowl in terms of play quality and the loss of interest on the continent was telling. The Queen would know that, apparently she can spot a lame horse from 100M away, and can tell whether a guardsman is out of step just by tasting the air. Some guy is saying this on BBC1.
My tip for predicting the outcome of the World Cup? Feed teams into the reality-baiting simulator known as Football Manager! I've won a wee bit of money off the Ecuadorians based on the results that the computer prints out. Interestingly, based on the 442 that England play with, they win the cup. Changed to a half back system, they still win the cup. True full-backs in a 532 I haven't tried yet, but I imagine they win the cup. What happens if they don't win the cup? Does reality itself disintegrate?
We're going to use 442 or 532? What footballers. It'll be a devil of a job to fit all of that number onto the pitch, but I doubt if the opposition will be able to get by us. Good ploy. It's the only chance we've got, doubt we'll get it past FIFA though.

 

Just thank whatever that you aren't Paraguayan. Take a look at Anthony Jucha's latest missive and see just how bleak it can be to follow your side...
"In rugby a bunch of meat head monkeys run around bashing each other" That reminds me of the sort of thing my elderly aunt would say about football - cos she knew nothing about football.
Jacques - we are nervous as the team hasn't performed - but we can't really believe that we'll go out to Ecuador. The next game - against Holland or Portugal - now that'll take some winning. I think we all secretly believe in our heart of hearts that we still have a chance of winning the thing - even though we haven't shown a scrap of evidence towards it in the tournament so far. We just know that we have a decent set of players - the trouble is that no-one seems to know how to get them to play well together. Maybe, just maybe, it'll get worked out when we confront a really good side - my head says 'no' but my heart just won't give up its dream.
Fifteen minutes to Kickoff, time to put on the lucky slippers and settle down on the sofa. I predict Ingerland 2 Ecuador 1.
So much for all those that wanted Beckham left out!

 

Oh good, nobody about. I predict one-nil to the Ingerland, a Beckham free kick.
Bugger
But apart fromt the free kick, what does the man do? When you're listening to the commentary, you hardly ever hear the commentator say "Beckam has the ball" or anything. You'd think he wasn't playing. The whole team look like they've had the heart and passion take out of them. They have no self belief. That Watford manager's supposed to be a whizz at man management; maybe they should give him the job, instead of the Eriksson number 2 who's got it.
Now then. We are there in the last eight. We have not even started yet. We WILL play better as the going gets tougher. Beckam had one chance and it went in the back of the net. Lampard has had counteless chances and cannot hit a barn door. Go figure. He must be dropped to allow Gerrard to roam. Beckham is too valuble to lose. Rooney was brilliant today but needs Crouch to bounce off. If I am worried about anything, it's the goalkeeper and John Terry. They both look wrong. Bring back Campbell. Portugal i think.

 

I just wrote to my brother in the States that we have some excellent players, but an ordinary team. If we get past the Dutch or Portugal we'll have excelled ourselves. But I'm not a scoundrel and I think it's goodnight Irene come Saturday. The FA fucked it up again, they should have had a quiet word with Filipe Scolari's people and left it until after The World Cup. He has said just recently that he could foresee a time when he might manage England. But where are the good England coaches? I can see Jose Mourinho walking away from Chelsea now that Frank Arnesen has been put in charge of overseeing which players to buy. That's going to put Jose's nose out of joint. But maybe just maybe Steve Mclaren will prove to be a managerial genius.

 

As long as Beckham scores the winning goal it doesn't matter whether he sits in the circle and picks nose or chokes his chicken for the rest of the game.

 

but it does matter what else Beckham does. Fine player and all, and undisputed King of the free kick; but he's in the team as Captain, and so is supposed to be bringing more to the pitch. Maybe, and its just a thought, maybe England look so lackadaisical and, well, pointless, partly because the captain isn't pulling things together and geeing people on to give thier best. If Gerrard was captain, would it be better? They don't look at the moment like they have a captain, they look like they've been organsied by a committee who can't agree on anything.
You think our press are hard on our boys? "Weak, embarrassing, Sven is full of hot air". Der Spiegel. "Without a miracle, how are these English imeciles going to survive the quarter final?" Die Presse: Austria. "England will need a miracle to progress and we're conducting footballing fraud", according to El Pais: Spain. Eriksson occupies top spot in the world's league of men paid for doing nothing. Corriera della Sera: Italy. "England progress with the gainliness of a tugboat ploughing through a regatta of elegant yachts": Irish Times. "England were blind men left to machete through the undergrowth of Eriksson's indecision". Irish Independant. The Los Angeles Times pointed out that at least there was something interesting to show: Beckhams' technicolour yawn.

 

Imbeciles.

 

I thought Ecuador played a really good game; I was shocked at how limp the England team was and despite an inability to get the ball in the goal, Ecuador had Ingerlund on its heels for a lot of the game. They really*fought*. Troubling for the English lads... But I keep hoping for a developing country to win the prize; it would be great to knock the dominance of Western European teams in the teeth by some underfunded and underpaid nation of players who DON'T get millions of pounds to throw fancy dress parties for the rich and famous, like our Mr Golden Balls. *ducks behind the sofa to avoid flying missiles*
I think the majority of 'our' mr golden balls' millions come from endorsements and sponsorships rather than from his (still highly paid) job. Personally i have no problem with how much money they get paid to play as they have a relatively short shelf life, and hey, he does deserve lots of pennies for remaining married to that plank of wood.
england have somehow managed to get to the q/f without playing that well, but rooney now seems fit, which is a major plus, the defence has been good on the whole, apart from sweden, and they have as much chance as any of the 8, argentina looked the best of the 8, but struggled against mexico, italy were lucky against the aussies, brazil were lucky that ghana didn't have a good finisher, portugual have looked good in parts but have self destructed and will be missing at least 2 key players in the q/f, france look like they are playing well enough to win it, if they beat brazil (which i'd say is very possible, that leaves england with a french semi final (i think we'll beat portugual) and i reckon the home nation will get there too england germany final would be a cracker
If pigs fly and there is an England v Germany final, I pray that England win. Can you imagine the carnage there would be from Brityob if we were to lose?

 

Ah, styx, for the Brityob, whether England won that hypothetical match or not, any old excuse would do to drag Jerry through the mud, for old times' sake...and you're right - it *would* be carnage. Let's hope they don't both get through to the final. (Well, let's hope Germany doesn't get through! :-D)
Mind you, I haven't been watching, so I have no idea who is placed where right now!
Argentina are due to play Germany and I'm hoping for a Latin win. But if England beat Portugal we could play Argentina and those old enmities will surface. And if we lose on Saturday my advice to yer nonbrityob in Germany is to RUN AWAY!!!!!!!! VERY FAST!!!!!!!!!!

 

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