Dancing by Narcissa

Wow, I just came on here to edit this poem (not very much - yet - but it needed immediate tweaking) and I found this! Thank you for such lovely comments - I'm glad you liked the piece! Laura x

i really like the images this creates, the scene at the ball, i like the ambiguity surrounding the relationship, who are they, why can they never kiss? my first thought was teacher and student but it could be so many other reasons. Juliet

"You, the three-quarter moon, embracing my earth-shadowed-self. Now the curls are loosening in my hair. Alone, I’m filled with your possibility. You did not kiss me. You will never kiss me." Loved this - I saw it as a kind of Torville-and-Dean thing where there's a level of professional public intimacy and the tensions it produces.

"You, the three-quarter moon, embracing my earth-shadowed-self. Now the curls are loosening in my hair. Alone, I’m filled with your possibility. You did not kiss me. You will never kiss me." Loved this - I saw it as a kind of Torville-and-Dean thing where there's a level of professional public intimacy and the tensions it produces.

I loved this too - the last three lines particularly. The 'fetishism' of the sense of possibility coupled with the absolute knowledge of 'neverbe' (the fuel of yearning). I liked Narcissa's poem 'Beloved' too ( http://www.abctales.com/node/516110 ).

Yes it all been said, a lovely mysterious poem.... Chris

I really enjoy your writing. Personally as a reader, I shrink from poems about love and dancing and sexual physicality. I think you do it well. But, I really am not fond of words like 'You' alone on a line and the use of the word 'alone' They really make me shirk away which is a shame. I also wondered if a return to the wine at the end might work, I enjoyed it as a detail, seems a shame not to continue it into some sort of significance or frame. Is this not implicit in the poem? 'We could be making love now and this is how it would feel' Span