Just an Observation by Span.

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Thu, 2006-07-27 10:32

Some great lines in this-really liked " But struck
by a fisherman reading fantasy
he is hot and cold and out."
and
"a village which is paler than porridge".

I personally would leave out the last line, but fine poem nonetheless.

Thu, 2006-07-27 11:09

span

Thank you Gilbert! I have made some changes. Keep picking at it like a lovely scab. Was not sure the line 'hot and cold and out' worked so very glad to hear so. Span

Mon, 2006-07-31 09:20

pepsoid

It's almost a cliche to say "painting a picture with words," but that's what this is... It's begging to be read out loud! Lovely jubbly... *** pepsoid *** [[[ " It is a pickle, no doubt about it " - The Oracle (The Matrix) ]]]

The All New Pepsoid the Second!

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