Josiedog - The pigs are back

Brilliant story, Josiedog. Best laugh I've had for ages. The only thing missing is a bunch of cherries.

agreed

Care in the community! This piece is heavy in black humour, but to me painted a serious and authentic picture of what it is like to live on a daily basis with mental illness. really well done. Juliet

Agree with all the above, brilliant piece. Craig

Thanks for the flag Lisa - pigs are cool, dogs are better and I'm a dragon. Thanks for the cherries and comments, people - this was really just something i wrote in between writing, if you get my drift. I thought it would be laughed off the site; it was a nice surprise to have it received so favourably.

Great momentum in this first paragraph. but slows up to abruptly near the end... "The pigs are back. They’re coming in through a hole in the wall at the back of the cupboard under the sink, pushing their snouts against the chipboard door, tripping over the bleach and binliners and trotting out of the kitchen to come stand around the sofa where I lay. The little one, a piglet I believe, has dragged a duster in with it. How cute." Its the double comma in the last sentence. ",a piglet i believe," slows it up and detracts from the great flow u had going there. I’ll shut up and read the rest now.

Fun... and frightening good one!

Best piece I've seen in weeks. I need to see more.

I had a nightmare about being eaten by pigs last night, I blame this story entirely.

Cheers 'dan; I couldn't ask for more.

If this is what you write "in between writing," then keep not-writing, Josie! Erm... if you see what I mean... :-/ Reminiscent of Stephen King/Clive Barker in one of their most darkly humorous phases... :-} pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

As you know, Josie, I'm a fan of your writing. This really does crack a good smile, and the prose is sparse and dark. However, there is something that I'm struggling to put my finger on that needs resolving in this. I think Lisah touches on the right area when she talks about "sane" narration. If the guy genuinely believes he's being eaten by pigs then surely he wouldn't bother to rationalise about the ouija board. He wouldn't care at that particular moment where they came from - he's being eaten! Still, I enjoyed reading it, so thanks!

I think the ouija board thing is fine... he was trying to figure out where they came from in order to get rid of them. It does stick out a little bit, but nothing a little shortening/editing wouldnt cure.

You're absolutely right, Lucas. Josie is a great writer who raises the bar quite high. I decided I would try to offer some critique instead of just saying I like it (which I did).

I love that, really really nice. Great voice, pacing an all that. Time to seek out more of your stuff (I be new hear, so am learning the ropes).