"It's not all that bad, you nasal bastard," I replied. "We've got to install microwave ovens and custom kitchen deliveries. We've got to move those..refridgerators, we've got to.."
"Alright! OK!" Mark said. "I've heard it a million times before."
"So you listen to radio 2 aswell," I replied.
There's nothing more mind-teasing than the incomprehensible eagerly avowed - Dennett
~It's a maze for rats to try, it's a race for rats to die.~
Funniest letter I ever read in NME was something along the lines of:
"Dear Editor,
I'd just like to point out to readers who keep sending me money that when I said I was in Dire Straits, I meant the band, not that I was skint.
Yours sincerely,
Mark Knopfler,
Some big fucking house somewhere."
http://www.myspace.com/ralphieloveplusone
So. I was walking alongside the North Circular the other day and I noticed that it was gridlocked. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Paul Weller at the wheel of a Ford Fiesta. He was getting very agitated and slamming his hands on the dashboard.
I shouted out. 'Hey Paul. Calm down. You will be moving in a minute or so.'
He replied. 'I hope so mate. I was in another jam for fourteen years a while ago.'
ralph
I was walking to the station the other day when I noticed, on the other side of the road, a driving school car up on the pavement. Bono, Larry Mullen Jr and Adam Clayton from U2 were standing beside it, remonstrating with the driver and the instructor. I crossed over.
“What’s up, lads?” I asked.
Bono, who was so angry his shades were steamed up, pointed an accusing finger at the young lad behind the wheel.
“We’ve got another album to finish off before we start our next World Tour tomorrow, and this daft eejit’s gone and run over our axeman.”
For the first time, I noticed a pair of legs and a guitar case sticking out from under the car.
“It’s all his fault,” the driver said, indicating the hapless instructor at his side. “He told me to pull off the road and park on the edge.”
http://www.myspace.com/ralphieloveplusone
So. I was in a a late night bar in Soho when I bumped into Paul Heaton. We had a quick beer and I said to him.
' Hey Paul. Are you here for a little while or do you have to go?'
Paul gave me a little cocky smile and said.
'Sorry man. I've got to run. It's time to leave the beautiful south.'
With that, he buttoned his duffel coat and left.
I left as dawn was breaking to a chorus of housemartins.
x
Ralph,
Thank you for posting your MySpace link. If I hadn't gone there, I would never have known that you were the man behind Marvin Gaye's edgy liberal coffee table classic 'What's Going On'.
You truly are a legend.
Cheers,
David
http://www.myspace.com/ralphieloveplusone
So. I was walking down the street the other day and I bumped into Marvin Gaye.
Marvin looked up at me and said.
'Hey! Are you Ralph Dartford?'
I said.
'Yes! How did you know that?'
And Marvin said
'Oh I don't know Ralph. Just something I heard through the grapevine.'
x
The All New Pepsoid the Second!
~It's a maze for rats to try, it's a race for rats to die.~
The All New Pepsoid the Second!
~It's a maze for rats to try, it's a race for rats to die.~