Expansion Pack by Spack

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Wed, 2007-09-26 17:42

rokkitnite

Expansion Pack by Spack

http://www.abctales.com/story/spack/expansion-pack

I like this poem. It makes me say this: oh!

Epic win for the Spackmaster General. I'm tempted to coin an analogy and assert that he is 'mining' a 'rich seam' with this poetic conceit. It's really strong throughout and, in my humble opinion, the language holds up its end of the bargain too, being rich and nicely cadenced. What do other people think?

Thu, 2007-09-27 16:08

archergirl

Is this actually a poem, or a modified non-fiction short...story? I just don't see it as a poem; whilst the language is beautiful, the images sharp (and the piece cherry-worthy), it reads more like a voice-over in some strange infomercial. It filled my head with pictures, but not much emotion. It's similar in ways to Gil Scott-Heron's 'The Revolution Will Not Be Televised': a fabulous rant on the state o'the world in a given moment. I scratch my head as to whether *that* is a poem, either...though they tell me it is.

Fri, 2007-09-28 10:15

Brooklands

Thanks for the flag Rokkit. Archergirl, I was wondering when I was writing this whether it's prose or poetry. There are moments when it works as poetry, I think, because the line breaks are working but there are other bits which could just as well be prose. It's definitely fiction though. Thanks for the feedback. Joe

Fri, 2007-09-28 12:21

rokkitnite

I think I saw it as a kind of performance monologue. I can definitely see it working as a performance piece.

Sat, 2007-09-29 04:39

the_big_V

this looks quite familiar to me... it's like a computer game... it's like the sims... but i like the way you say it, nice words... pretty catchy...

Nemo vir est qui mundum non reddat meliorem

Mon, 2007-10-01 22:40

brighteyes

I'm with archergirl on this one spackeroo. Enjoyed it very much (title in particular) but it would be far better as prose, a la Jeff Noon's short stories. The direct address would work better in that format too.

"I have a room for life at the Home for the Chronically Groovy."

Tue, 2007-10-02 22:00

Brooklands

Coolio, Thanks K. I will try it out as prose. Joe

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