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Posted by Gunnerson on Thu, 15 Dec 2011

Original comment.nid is in comment.score.

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Submitted by Gunnerson on
Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Sylvester was my fave cat apart from Thomas O'Malley and Tom of the Jerry type. I love cats but the more I get to know them the more I see how self-centred, paranoid, lazy, cruel and cowardly they are. Lions are hailed as the most fearless animals on the planet but they're really the most cowardly, lazy little shits, chasing after the weakest of any pack they choose to devour. I spose it's dog eat dog out there, but lions aren't brave at all. They're wimps at heart. Cats are dangerous to mice, who they play with in an attempt to cause a heart attack. Failing that, they'll kill them and walk away to ponder upon the state of the world in a tree. I do love cats, and the more they like a person the more likely they will feel comfy enough with them to scratch and draw blood. They sleep 19 hours a day and are the root cause of all men-hating. Women generally love their cats more than their partners, which is another reason that cats are extremely dangerous. American cat-owners have found it fashionable to relieve their feline friends of their claws, which makes them alot less dangerous, of course, although for the reason that they can no longer protect themselves these clawless cats are restricted to the home and fear anything that approaches them. Cats don't forgive the past.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
I like the way you leave the identity of the person to the mind of the reader. This flows with the angered torment of someone seriously wronged/trapped, and in this short piece you have given valuable meaning to the ideal that anger is better out than in. Anger is just as valuable emotion as happiness. It's how we deal with it that shapes our lives. All the best Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Thanks for reading Pia and Maggy, As soon as I finished this, it has to be said, blown-out-of-all-proportion piece, the wind had its way all over the place. Now my friends have gone to Mexico and mistakenly taken the Ipad with them so Im at an internet cafe in Perugia. The riots sound funky. My solicitor's office is very close to Debenhams in Clapham Junction and she's supposed to be sending my ex's mudslinging extravaganza for me to reply to but I haven't heard a dicky bird from her. I don't think piece is up to much but I'm glad you had a chuckle with it. That's what counts. Keep the peace, ladies, and don't go doing too much damage in London, Maggy. Off to photograph the house where Meredith Kercher was killed. Italian landlords aren't very respectful(and I suppose I come under this category too for snapping); it's packed full of students again and there's a very creepy sofabed without the mattress sat outside the front door, oh, and a little pear tree in the garden. I'm trying to master the monster that is my new (second hand) Nikon D300. Beautiful camera, I love it. All the best Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
It's just another system. I met a few Brits out there but they keep themselves to themselves generally (I was no different). Some, like me, would go on the dole for a while. Health's great there, but bills are much higher, food's higher and drinks are higher out. The older Brits are usually sorted financially, live off a good pension and own their place. That's the way to do it, but I don't regret a moment.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Sorry to have upset you again, Pia. I seem to have a nasty knack of angering you but that's not my intention. Norway is one of the world's most law-abiding nations. It has an exemplary record for common decency, in fact it's so squeaky clean that it hardly seems possible, but perhaps that's the most telling thing about this atrocity, that no one nation is safe as long as our leaders ignore its most vulnerable: young and old. It seems obvious that the killer was insane and that he acted in opposition to being left to rot through life. He probably only clutched onto far right extremism because he thought they'd be the only ones crazy enough to confide in his own delusions. What happened is a direct result of the true costs of dispossessing those that most need help. In Britain, it's called care in the community, which is a convenient way of saying that the government can't be bothered to help so they let its people deal with the problem. While I may come across as a pompous, self-righteous, indignant, opinionated hypocritical old slyboots, my desire to ask questions that I feel strongly about far outweighs the possibility that some people may form a negative opinion of me. Believe me, I'm no saint and am only just starting to learn about myself so I'm bound to get in trouble from time to time. It's a good, speedy way of learning, though, and I hope to encourage debate so that I can understand more about where it is that I come from. There are loads of holes in my armour but I'll never see them unless someone spots them for me. Debate isn't encouraged by our leaders because they know we might actually get to the truth of important matters. As they like to put it, 'the people can't take the truth', but the truth is that if the people knew the truth, they wouldn't have a job. All the best Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Thanks for your comments, Jennifer and Highhat. The symbolism is supposed to be that regardless of which colour one is, the rules of a country and the underlying message of its government will define its people and the lengths they will go to to survive. Look at people eating chimps in Africa. Certain badly hit countries' people would have starved without them, while in Tanzania, relatively better off, there were no incidents of chimp-eating. But then, neighbouring African migrants from less well-off countries came towards Tanzania for refuge and reports show that chimps are being eaten there now. Tardy was born white to defective parents, went brown to gain acceptance and rebel against his own and then black due to illness and insane psychiatric intervention. But, he remains white throughout, which is meant to highlight the facade's irreparable damage, given to accompany his need to rid himself of his background, which is impossible. That whites are seen in such a bad, unforgiving light is due to the fact that the government have and always will walk all over the underclass (previously the working class), which is on the increase in a massively damaging way. I think that makes sense but I'm still chewing on it and need to better the ending. I'm glad that no one thought it was a racist rant (so far), but then it didn't get a cherry and not many read unless given one.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Thanks, Jennifer. I really had a ball writing this. I cheated by using an article in the Evening Standard about an exhibition of a human brain. Just changed the tissue and kept the basic form. I know it's naughty but I had such a laugh doing it. All in the name of art, right? The media's so trite you can't help laughing.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Cheers. I've been looking through your drawers, too. Very blooming good. I'll add some less quirky ones soon, just to show you that I have a heart!

Submitted by Gunnerson on
I know what you mean, Insert. I am prone to tangents, or tentacles of thought, and justify this (to myself at least) by imagining that there must have been a reason for such waywardness, like a bloom. I wrote this quickly but I'm happy with it, so far. Glad you found it interesting

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Agreed; classical music is amazing for the spirit and can whisk me away without a moment's thought. Rehab centres like their patients to look inward at themselves but, thinking about it, a chosen piece of classical would help in the morning before the battle with the self begins. It can soften and that's a good weapon. I'll mention it tomorrow. I'm glad you like what I write. I hope you put something in for Stories for Pakistan? It's worth a go and a great cause. Have a great Sunday. It's beautiful out there.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
It's not really fiction and the downward spiral just keeps on going in my life. Must be one tough cookie, or a complete baffoon. Would it have the same tone if it was made consciously by a heducated man? Will check out Notes From Underground. There's another 24 pieces of sticks and stones and I hope you carry on enjoying them as I did writing. All the best and thanks for the encouragement, Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
What you said made me realise just how ridiculous the voting system is. I just can't see the point of going to vote for the sake of it. Seems a bit like you're suggesting that it's better to go and see your least favoured play with your most detested actors and the most amateurish production team at the local theatre, just because that's what's on and you got free tickets. Of the umpteen candidates in your constituency, how many make a blind bit of difference? Anyone can push through a cancer patient with kind words and diligence. I don't need MPs for nowt, nothing at all. They're useless and so are all the people who vote believing they might make a difference when they know they won't. There's no malice to you here. None at all. I just wish people like Tony Cook would wake up one day and realise just how closed-minded he is. They say people can't take the truth. I say people are content with the lie. Ta for reading, Lulu

Submitted by Gunnerson on
The simple solutions are always the best, only there just aren't the folk to carry them out. Stink-bombs are still only about a quid for three (available at all good novelty/gift shops) and there's always a bank or dicey resto close by to let one off. A whole place cleared for less than a pack of skins? Bargoanius Maximonius!

Submitted by Gunnerson on
thanks for sticking with it, Pia. All the best Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Hi Jenny, Thanks for reading and glad it tickled you. All the best Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Hi Alex, I totally concur with you on everything you've said. It's not a great feeling when cherries don't fall into our laps but when i look back, Abc usually get it bang-on and seem to have an innate sense of each writer's progress, which is amazing considering how many people post here. I do all the things you have put above, and it's the feeling of complacency in me that gets my goat. It's basic laziness not to delve into a new writer's work. the rewards are there and i posted this in the hope that I wasn't alone, so thanks for commenting. All the best Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
What bothers me most is imagining a similar scenario where three men convicted of killing their partner or mother are offered work in, say, a YWCA or perhaps a call-centre. Does that explain your open-ended question, insert?

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Thanks for reading, Pia. Glad it was enjoyed but sad it broke you up. That would have been the girl's intention for Cameron but surely it would have been shredded before it got to him. Hi Sunday's, glad this brought forward some ideas for writing tactics. Judging by your last poem I think you're over that bout of blighters. Best of wishes to you both Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Women aren't dumb, huh? Drinkers are awful liars, or is it liars are awful drinkers? Thanks for sticking with stones this far.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Hi Pia, Your presence on this site is quite remarkable and I for one really appreciate the time you take to read my dallying. And I'm glad we agree on something finally! The kids are alright. We all know who the real troublemakers are. Those lines; I thought they were good, but it's supposed to suggest that the status quo is what the government fights for. Even when the status quo resembles an old dinosaur in the throes of collapsing into an inglorious heap for the flies to help rot, just like the euro, the govt has no idea what else to do but to keep things as they always have been, all because oppression has worked for so long and for so few, politicians included. People are mad at the govt but a lot of them are scared of losing their pathetic little jobs that they hate so much. A great set of priorities for those who deserve all they get. All the best Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Thanks for your encouragement, insert. We've all got different paths to enlightenment and we all have to go through each of the passageways to get there. Miss one and that's it; a bit like snakes and ladders.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Hi Florian, No doubts you've seen him. He's the one that stares at you on the train back from work to see if he can make you feel as uncomfortable as he is in himself. Don't buy it, buddy. Just stick yer tongue out, fan your hands behind your ears, wiggle your fingers and go 'na na nanana' at him when get off. He looks hard but he's actually just a big fluffy fuckhead at heart. Best Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
That made me laugh, chuck! Oh, to break the cycle. I really don't blame my folks, now, although I did in my teens and early twenties. They were only children and had a fiery relationship. I think I like my Dad now, although he's just done it again, getting married to his secretary without telling us a fortnight ago! Mum gave me way too much love and Dad too little. It's taken me all this time to forgive them.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Thanks for your comment, Celticman. (I hope you don't think I actually did The Big One! It's only fiction, honest) I'v been reading some of your work and like it. It's very intricately woven; you know how to embroider detail with humour. I saw a copy of Stig of the Dump in a charity shop and thought of a boy in one of your tales. Stig mixed with spatterings of medieval lore. I will put more stories on soon but need to work out how to copy and paste (a mate did it last time). Best wishes to you, Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Thanks, Pia. I shall keep on truckin'.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
My face is flushed and I'm wafting a copy of Metro in my face like a lady under a parasol in Pride and Prejudice. Honestly, I'm completely bowled over that you found this so funny. I will do big stories in sections, like you say. Many thanks for your encouragement. Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Christ! Dostoevsky? You can't be serious. That's the best compliment I've ever received for my writing and I'm at Roehampton library smiling like a wet-eyed Garfield. Bowled over. I read Crime and Punishment and The Idiot in my twenties, along with Sartre, Orwell and Kafka and the rest of the gang, but now I'm going to get Notes from the library. I don't see Sticks and Stones as sad, though, and I hope you get some laughs from it. Ctrl (come the revolution lovers).

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Not sure, John. But Beeme just posted a forum topic suggesting that someone else's work is cherryworthy because it struck a chord with her, so I checked it out. That's objectivity in action, where curiosity is guided/goaded to take part. Subjective posts that should be posted as stories surely do not count as forum topics. That would mean every story deserved discussion, which is certainly not the case. I'd rather read a toaster's instruction manual.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Thanks for your words of encouragement, Pia and Sundays. It'll blow over soon. Just wanted to write it down. All the best Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Talk about desperate! The lengths some people go to to earn a crust, I don't know. Your work is brilliant but never let it go for nothing unless you want to be attached to where it's headed. Conmen must be getting desperate with this recession. Trying to pull the wool over writers' eyes must be tough going. maybe that's what they use that rabbit's ears for when he's not proof-reading.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Cripes. Now I know why the publishing trade's going down the pan. A good novel for 72p? That's cheaper than at t'charity shop! I know; you need a kindle to read it. Well done, Tom, for getting it published.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Good to see you're in your usual lively spirits, Julie. You pack a lot into your life down there on the coast. Say hello to Ray for me and tell him I haven't had a bet for 22 days. Feeling a great deal better for it. Thanks for reading, Kevin. I thought this may have sounded a bit self-piteous and I have to say I don't feel any anger towards my folks any more. It's just the way I was then, and how I couldn't deal with life very well. Kept getting tingles up my legs watching XFactor tonight. There's a lot of love in that program. All the best to you two lovely people, Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
'She was not rich enough to admit she was poor'; these are the morsels of denial that marginalised idiots have fed upon throughout the centuries to justify their dispassionate existence. Just finished The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists and this reminded me of the same era. Unfortunately, the likes of the Archies are very much alive and unwell. If only disease could kill the wicked quicker than it does, we wouldn't need to cause a revolution. Having said that, the people of Britain are so incredibly stupefied by life that any such thing would only be greeted by mad, callous laughter. I am a strong believer of prayer, I drink to excess and smoke, but I don't subscribe to religion. The closest interpretation to my 'God' is air, which allows each and every one of us to live. I did enjoy this. If you read through it, you'd probably make one or two amends as Margharita pointed out.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
At last, a poem that actually says something. There are so many wishy-washy waffling-wannabees on this site, huddled together, assuring each other with lovey-dovey comments like 'wondrous', 'a breath of fresh hair', 'a triumph'. This poem, and not those dreadful lengths of flimsy, flapping floral tat, perfectly identifies the kindred spirit of sisterhood and displays the delicacy of the mind as the effects of the human experience take hold. It's caring, understandable, easily digested and real, and that is what a poem should be; accessible, concentrated and visual. It's a little awkward towards the end of each of the two paragraphs (or whatever they're called) but you can tinker at will over time if you agree that it's slightly out of sync with the rest. Most henjoyabubble.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Exquisite. No other words.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Great stuff depicting the beauty of a playfully delusional imagination. Reminded me of Salinger.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Great reading material and a very familiar backdrop for me to reminisce. This is going places in that static, druggy way. Keep em coming, I'll be onto it for sure. I like the rules and their intermittent inclusion. Stylish.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
It's not too late if we pull together and seek an answer to the violence offered by democracy. This is a beautiful and sad insight into the pit of the human psyche as it has been deceived. We've been sold down the river for too long now. all the best Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
thanks, Sundays and Julie. Very glad you enjoyed it.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
I agree with the above comments. Reading off my phone's little old screen isn't a problem when the writing's this good.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Hi Tina, A very powerful and thought-provoking read, this poem seems destined for greatness. It says so much with so little and its subtlety allows the reader to adjust its relevance to their own lives. Images develop after reading purely because of the scarcity of words. A helium balloon of a poem. Forgiveness surrounds us with the strength to release our torment. Strong contender for POTW, I reckon.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
This good piece shows how blind the people of Britain are. Sheep on their way to the abbatoir would have a better understanding of how corrupt and debauched the present political system is. I'm hoping that there will be no government at all soon, but we're probably more likely to encounter Tombo, I suspect. Voters are so dumb with fear that they'd proably endorse their own death so long as their mortgage was paid off. Congrats on getting Story of the Week.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Wondering what to say. Raunchy and undiluted, honest and sexually provocative. I should try getting back into a bit of sexy stuff again. Thanks for the read.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Trademark ebony black, outwardly fearless but inwardly fearful, spine-chilling and bewitching; pure Sid at her bewildering best. This one's crying out to be read; with purple eye-liner blow-dried in a downward spider's web across the scowling face of an shawled inebriate. Great to see you writing again. Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
thanks, Oldpesky. there are so many ways to expand this ridiculous law/topic, but not so many ways to expose it. Satire always gets around high level corruption, though. I liked your newsy one, which helped tempt me into doing this one.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
There should be a full stop between here and stop. Seriously, though, where's bickering?

Submitted by Gunnerson on
My Mum was big on euthanasia when she was in her late-fifties and even went on the BBC world service to advocate its refinement. Then she got frontal lobe dementia at 75 and has been in a care-home since. Yesterday I went to visit her with a mini-mountain of M+S profiteroles (1/3 off, down to £2.33) but she was off-form and told me if I didn't get out she'd kill me. I don't blame her. I just stroke her face or hand when she says stuff like this. It's not her fault but I wonder what she'd have done if she could see herself now. It's hard enough for me, let alone her. My Dad recently married his secretary/lover to secure loving care after seeing where Mum was. You should have seen his face when I put the prospect of being in care to him! His wife, who's lovely, vows never to put him in care. He's bedridden with Alzeimer's, going blind and has horrific dreams. I find it amazing that people are scared of dying. I'd certainly rather have done when I lose the plot, but that's what my Mum said... I don't think I'll get too old, though. Even now I've given up the sauce and the drugs, I still smoke fags and it's a drag giving them up, so I might go with old cance-babe. I just can't see myself powerwalking and eating fuckin' rabbit droppings or whatever it is till I'm 100. While govts are keen to boast how they can help people stay alive for longer, it's worth accounting that there's more obesity, stress and addiction to alcohol and drugs than ever before. The privet hedge and picket fence crew, for whom this recent life-elongating study seems to have been derived from, are a dying breed anyway. Young families these days have to live with the notion that they're three pay cheques away from the street, so it's not exactly the most relevant or optimistic study for future generations, just the ones who were lucky enough to have been around when morals existed, ie. before Thatcher pitched her fat arse at No 10 and sold us off to the highest bidder. The crooks that run this country wouldn't really want you to live any longer than you were of use, anyway. They are self-serving, nothing else. Still, it's a good way to put up the age of retirement, I suppose. Oldsters are usually bored stiff, so a few days at B+Q taking away jobs from the young never hurt. Poor Andrea semms to have managed to miss the point of this forum topic quite spectacularly, as usual, although anyone who seriously believes that the world will be awash with geriatrics must be similarly estranged from reality. It's just not cost-effective, and anything that's not cost-effective will be shelved by the govt sooner rather than later. Just another con for morons to cling on to. Longevity is a curse, especially for the deluded.

Submitted by Gunnerson on
That means so much to me, Rachel, you'll never know how much, but A LOT!! I'm planning on having this illustrated if the first book goes well. Let me know what the children think of it, won't you? A massive thank you. Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Hey Pia and Oldron, Thanks for reading. I wrote this lot last year and still don't know how to carry on with it. The idea was to contrast the National Trust to the government and the wall to society. Having stripped the wall of its disease (ie. corruption, MPs, fear and loathing), something was going to happen when David came back from his holiday, but I still can't get my head around what. All the best Richard

Submitted by Gunnerson on
Fantazmo! I thought this was going to go the way of an early Tom and Jerry, when Thomas is replaced and booted out by a space-aged 'cat' that goes on to tear the house down, but no. You managed to give it a great twist at the end, which had my eyebrows raised with awe. Absolutely spot-on. Perhaps will-washer is a better name for you! Definitely get some stories off to agents. From time to time, they hire serious literary talent, not just celebrity chefs and TV presenters promoting caravans.

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