Forum Comments

Good stuff, and divine to hear coming from a woman. A man might be deemed a mad heretic for writing something as honest (which says it all). Women really are (generally) unrecognisable from thirty years ago. 'To take any notice or light up the sky'. I thought instead 'To take any notice of the lice in their hair' (17th line from bottom). It seems that you write in a conscious stream. If that's at all true, a little more thought, rounding off and trimming would be nice. I like raw, but nurtured raw is much better.

Marnie has a good friend in you and I hope she can come to terms with her problem when a diagnosis is made. Booze and antideps don't work together. They fight with each other (one's depressant, the other an antidepressant) and while the concoction may trick the neurons into compliance over time, the ocst is a heavy one and can cause shutdown, even for hardcore lifers like Marnie. As an admirer of your work, it's great to see this story continue on its rocky road. Ask if she'll consider totally giving up the booze for a while, just to see if she feels different. Give it a fortnight, tell her, and then go for help if nothing changes or if she can't give it up. Then, at least, she might start to accept she has a problem. All the best Richard

Hi Ewan, What police? All the world's a theatre and thuggish childre are the actors if these riots are anything to go by. So very easy to exploit the incredible lackings of a very ordinary force. Acting chief commissioner and holidaying prime minister need to have lunch, preferably not with fleeing Murdoch. All the best Richard

Again, I find myself warming more and more to this story. It's got an edginess to it which keeps me reading but it's not only that. While this is not what I'd call my chosen reading material (as you can probably tell from my stuff, I usually go for darker, quirkier books) the pace and ease with which you write makes for compelling reading. As with music, I like all types so long as they're good, and this is really good so I like it. Just recently, I've been reading other people's work and have started regretting not going to university a little. It started when I heard Laura Wilkinson's Bloodmining at the Wheatsheaf. It was so well written and weaved together that I assumed she'd been to university and probably done English Literature. I didn't ask her though. These are early regrets and I'm sure I can iron them out, but I imagine you went to university too by the way you weave this (seemingly effortlessly). I reckon I'm starting to regret losing umpteen brain cells through drink and drugs too, but there's no point in regret I know. This deserves more reads but if my own traits of reading on this site are anything to go by, it's because it's quite long. This is worth defying laziness.

Beautiful. ave a read of my 'To Hell with the Olympics.' I hope you enjoy it as I enjoyed this. All the best Richard

Comically cutting, incisive and true to form, Delapruch. Life magazine probably need that summer holiday they're taking. Lady Di is booked to be in Time magazine for the foreseable future, with commemorative copies of the wedding printed as a supplement for sufferers of memory loss and those that live in fairyland. To understand the mind-numbing affectation of the meaninglessly affluent, Marilyn Monroe's white dress in The Seven Year Itch went for $4.6 million this weekend. I wondered how many poor families could be housed when I heard. The seller, Debbie Reynolds, wept as the hammer went down. Poor little lost duckling. Off to watch The Shadow Line now. Check it out. It's a BBC drama you'd love. All the best Richard

Plenty of chemistry between you two! 'She thinks I'm talking about periods'.. I thought more of sperm and love juice, but that's probably sexist, right? Do men deserve to have brains any more or should we be lobotomised at birth? Ritalin's one way, I suppose. Grammar; 'it's potent' and 'it's solvent' should be 'its', not to take anything away from the content, which is great. More please

Now that's what I call child abuse. This 'Mum' knew the score and how to conceal or divert her part in it, which had no doubt been a factor in this boy's life for quite some time. For a mother to play with the emotions of her own son is inadmissable but goes on far too often, always unpunished and rarely told. A brave topic to confront, actually.

Been there, but be strong. Don't let them get the better of you. That's playing into their hands. They're not in denial, though, because they know exactly what they're doing. All the best Richard

Nice and bouncy, Kevin, just like a nice, bouncy wabbit should be. Shamelessly moronic, in the best possible way, of course. Made me laugh, especially Cool Hand Pesky.

At the beginning, it says 'on one' instead of no one. If you're homeless or have been in the past, send this to the 'Streetlights' section of the Big Issue by email. I don't work there but I've had a few shorts published with them and I think they'd like this. It's worth a go, at the very least. All the best Richard

What a fantastic offer, Ross. This is the sort of action that will bring you success. I'd say good luck, but I think you know very well that we make our own! All the best Richard

Wowzer. Reading 'Sickened' by Julie Gregory at the mo and this hit the same nerves. I'm sorry your Dad wasn't man enough to share your deepest secrets. I hope you put more writing on. Other women would do well to read this.

Now that made me smile. Excellent little ditty! all the best Richard

Good stuff. I like the simultaneous findings; one of an innocent child, the other a strange giant. The end slightly jarred for me because I'd have assumed that Piet would have seen the giant too, with the landscape so revealing. Bar that, a great addition. Richard

Weird. i just sent one to you about APRS5000 and now I read this cat and mouser. I found it hard not to write about the dark side which is my forte) when I was putting one together for stories for Pakistan, but in the end I found it a good exercise. Because this story's basically about a cat wanting to eat as many mice as he can (a prelude to mass death in a nutshell, or shoebox) I would say it's not what the dockitory ordered. Try writing about beauty, love, the giving of life, the re-emergence of happiness, anything to do with positivity; it's a great exercise in finally smiling. Would you, if you have time or the inclination, tell me what you think of The Yesteryears by me. It's my try for Stories for Pakistan and I'd appreciate your views.

Raw meat from the word on the pavement. Like it. Are you coming to the Wheatsheaf on the 15th? Hope so. Should be a fun night. Richard

Refreshingly risque, you'd have been in trouble if this had happened in the UK but then I guess we don't know what really goes on in classrooms here. For what it's worth and you may think this weird, but I had a dream last night in which I saw a book (paperback-sized but hardback) with your name on it. When I went to pick it up, someone I had been talking to got in my way. That's all I remember. I hope this dream comes true for you. All the best Richard

While they may not have all the answers, they sure as hell know who doesn't have the answers, and they're the people who govern our ever-dwindling freedom, ie. banks, media, church and govt. Each of these democratic conglomerates has failed us, and that is, in itself, something worth fighting against. If you were, say, a mechanic and you loved a certain car but you know it needed a total overhaul in every way, you'd first have to buy the vehicle, although it would probably be very cheap, unless it had a valuable number plate. Once you'd bought it, you'd set about dismantling it, and only when you'd done so would you be in a position to evaluate what needed attention. Prioritising which things needed doing first would be fairly obvious, ie. the body work would have to be stripped, rewelded, packed out and resprayed before starting the arduous task of rebuilding. Sure, the engine would need replacing as would almost every other working car factor. Even the upholstery would need ripping out and starting again. But because you loved that car for its shape and all the things it evoked in you, you'd be happy to do it. You wouldn't know, necessarily, how easy parts would be for such an antiquated vehicle and there'd be plenty of remanufacturing and remodelling to make sure it worked well when rebuilt. After years of sweat, love, tears and money, your car would be renovated to a standard befitting expectation. Although you'd had to sell your house and kidney and put the kids through hell to pay for it, it would seem worth it, until it suddenly dawned on you that there was a perfectly good car for sale down the road that did the job of transporting the family around adequately for a zillionth of the cost of that moneypit monster, called capitalism, that no one needed but couldn't see past living without it. New 3 metre railings surrounding parliament have just been given the go-ahead at a cost to the taxpayer of some £3 million (which will probably bloat to £6 million once the shysters have taken their cut), all for the purpose of making it harder for people to climb the walls of the buildings, ie. protesters. What the protesters have done for me is to reveal, if only to myself, that the system stinks and needs a total overhaul. Murdoch in the dock, another Catholic school up for abuse, bankers bonuses up 47% from last year and the govt whistling in Europe's face says it all. THIS WON'T LAST LONG. If capitalism died tomorrow, we'd have to start thinking about what we'd like to see happen in the world. The protesters are asking us to look within ourselves and act on our gut instincts, ie. capitalism is killing us.

If she'd put a tenth the effort she put in clearing her name doing her job, Baby Peter would still be with us. Unfortunately, this is an exercise in showing others seeking top jobs that they'll get away with murder if it's committed under their watch. A sad state of affairs, and no, nobody in power is decent enough to hold themselves responsible for their own inaction. the wrong people are in the best jobs

Malodorous, heathen, shame-faced criminals

If an idle mind is the devil's playground, then it might serve you well to read the work of others and leave a comment. The idea is that you get what you give. All the best

Super stuff; well written and nicely concentrated. I saw The Accused on BBC1 t'other night and this had the same sickly kind of character. Befriend and destroy. Obsession is a thought that rises above all others; nothing can arrest an obsession. A friend of mine recently found out that the person cyber-abusing him was a girl he shagged thirty years ago. The anti-abuse people in America that found who was doing it told him that she'd gone to the troubles of hacking into a satellite to monitor his every digital move. There are some really odd people out there. My friend's just happy he knows whodunnit. He's been a jibbering paranoid mess for the last few years.

i enjoyed this.

A fantastic start to what I hope is lots more of the same. You seem to have a knack of capturing my every sense with your words, and I find myself trying to guess how the scenes will play out as I read; a sure sign of highly accomplished work. I read a French novel which was given a big prize about the first two or so years of a girl's life. It was based on the Japanese(I think)theory that these very early years are when we are angels. I think it was called 'The (something) of Rain'. I can't remember exactly but it was written quite recently. This first chapter reminded me of the voice in that novel, but I already prefer this one. It's brutal and fearless, pounds my emotions and throws me about. In the third last paragraph, there's one typo. 'He smacked his hand together;' hands. The only reason I don't want to read this again immediately is because a. I took everything in and b. I want to read the next one first, and then the next, till it's finished, and then I'm sure I'll want to read it in one go. I am absolutely fascinated by your work, and thank God for Abctales. You now have an obligation to see this through. Do not let it slip away, for any reason. No pressure, mind.. All the best Richard

well put, and 30 standing ovations by the American elite to celebrate the words of the Israeli PM in the senate yesterday tells me there ain't nothing gonna change but the rent. Good to know there are some rebellious aMericans still out there

Great as usual from you, Florian. Just wondered whether the last para could be brushed up a bit. it seemed to clunk and jar in my mind after the delicious rhythm and humour of above. All the best, Richard

Suits and ties hide cheats and lies. Unbelievable that Cable didn't resign. Inconceivable that Lib Dems would join the Tories. Preposterous that we digest the lies and let it wash over us. Still, most people's jobs are based on corruption and lies, so it's hardly a surprise.

Paying for a coffin and renting a hearse, the sign of a successful life? Where are we, 1895?

This piece reminds me of how I perceived religion earlier in life. That's not to suggest that I know any better now but just this morning I was thinking about why people use God as a tool for a better life. Like me, perhaps they need a power outside of man to depend on, maybe because they have found man inadequate as a role model. My own previous self-righteousness had no foundation and I found that if I did God of my understanding's will my life changed for the better for the first time ever, which was a revelation. When I see the tribal religious leaders of Ethiopia and Somalia stopping aid going to their own starving people, I now search inside for reasons why they would do this. We don't know what they've seen and how they view life, but perhaps its a bit like how people and mother cats deal with kittens sometimes If the mother cat sees that there arebtoo many kittens to feed them properly from her teets, she will kill off a number of kittens to keep alive the others. People sometimes abandon kittens for the same reason. The thing is we who have breakfast lunch and dinner dont't know what sort of process it takes to keep an already desperate situation alive. God of my understanding isn't bad, it's the universal ooze so it just is; perfect, true and correct in the grand scheme of things, but in that scheme there is nature and nature does things the way it knows best, the way it has to be, which isn't always how we would like it to be. All the best Richard

Smashing! Just read The Uncommon Reader by Alan Bennett and if you havent read it I strongly recommend you do. So much to like about this too All the best Richard

Get in there, Jenny! Now that's what I call a forum topic. Unbebloodylievable! You'll get the 100% but I'm going to check unbound now anyway.

I enjoyed this and hoped it would go on a bit more. Always a good sign.

there are three types of intellectual baaaing. The atheist, the agnostic and the religious, but the man who needs no justification of his belief in a power greater than himself is by far the richest of mind because he is free to wonder. All the best Richard

I still don't know what l.o.l. means but this tickled me.

You've nailed it here! This is as authentic a voice as I've heard in donkeys (well, months). Laughed my head off at the Hemingway nausea and the band detachment process. I never liked him, and couldn't stand the toffs who came to Paris for a flit of Daddy's wallet going on about Ernest Fuckin Hemingway. This is far far better. Say it how it is. Brilliant! I want more and soon. Gotta be story of the week. I hope the eds don't like Hemingway.

Just a question but why take things that have been published off abc? Surely this should be a celebration for other members to read and gain insight from, (like a strawberry as opposed to a cherry).

The truth is in your tummy

This should give strength to others and also harden your own resolve. You've re-established to me that positivity will always win the day and that negative people only drag one down. In AA, they say 'stick with the winners' -to keep sober- and I always thought, 'but what about the poor sods who can't help themselves. I should be helping them,' but that would just be my own insecurity/false pride. Life's a selfish program. Just stick with the winners now that you're free. Thanks again for some great writing. More to come, I hope.

This reminded me of my punk days with the skinny Goths hanging around the Batcave at Fouberts like they owned the place. Every one of the bloke Goths seemed to have very high-pitched voices, which is probably why they hardly ever spoke to anyone. Talk about hiding behind cloaks. The latest Robert Pattinson craze is similar but more mainstream, but there again what isn't mainstream these days? Trends seem only to be invented by those who wish to profit from them. a million miles from only a few decades away, when music was rebellion and people were people. I love this new theme, Rob. Keep it up. It seems that you really immerse yourself into whatever you write and it shows. Very funny, too.

it's raoul moat, and he's half french half englishish. nobody should be subjected to the violence that he has instilled to the locals but is it not, as you say, an indictment against society? the government is shit here, and i know that this topic has been posted for that reason, but if we are to do something about the prevalence of such american craziness we must ask those that run the 'school' whether they think theyre doing a good job. revolution needs to be had to get these pathetic losers who prefer to employ others for the sake of a few pennies (to be rehad by proper tradesmen later) instead of british people. it pays the govt more to have foreigners working here because they are disposable and won't squeal. enough said?

I like your style. Provocative in a way that is sorely missing in the world, not just of fiction. I know those mothers; if your kids aren't wearing labels, they spot you a mile off and turn on their heels as if the downwind was appalling enough. It ain't just bag ladies. Just checked your Magpie. Over 500 hits in such a short time. You've certainly arrived, and your feedback to other writers is great.

I do!

This reminded me of my Mum's care home. the management are so half-arsed it takes four meetings, sixty emails, one hundred cups of tea, five hundred huffs, one thousand sighs, nine months, four guidance memos from head office, six contingency plans, twelve hundred quidsworth of consultancy fees, just to be sure that the fuckin' laundry system wasn't working, when all they needed to do was check a few 'cleaned' duvets. I was confused as to what the game was here, and how a point/goal was scored, but apart from that, solid.

What? No one made a comment on this? Just goes to show. Are you as bad at networking as me? You can't be. Surely not! I pride myself with the ideology that meritocracy will shine down on me (one day, probably in Life Two) and that networking is for the fantastically mediocre. This is right up my street. Very transexually written, that's probably the wrong word, as if the narrator was very much one of the lads at heart. Well done. I went to school in Colwyn Bay so I know Ruthin and Abersoch and suchlike. The ending was good but would have been happier if she had dropped her pride and got together with Nigel. He sounded like a real tonic for her.

I tried to find you piece but it's gone missing. I thought we were getting somewhere there and I don't mean to pry but did you delete it?

I enjoyed that.

Reading a book by Balzac called Sarrasine (maybe misspelt) and this has the same flavour. 'Proper prose'. Very moody and mystical with great descriptive depth. This is the first time in a long while I've delved into your work but I can see, and can say am learning, how well you knead your craft into segments of great value. Marie sounds like a right one. Spot on.

Chaos! Me and my Breville were inseparable in the glory days of children's TV (well, Dangermouse and Blockbusters). Typo: others people's stuff. Another reliably good read

Of as equally sound judgement and incorruptibility as you. Do you realise how excruciatingly self-important that sounds?