Mary Sue
Thu, 2011-12-22 15:41
#1
Mary Sue
Hey everyone! So I've had a few people call my main character a mary sue (too positive and one dimensional) if you've read my story can you tell me if you think this? If you haven't read it, when you have time could you read a bit from the first chapter and let me know what you think. Thanks
MaliciousMudkip
Hey, I feel kind of weird commenting on this because it seems a bit presumptuous of me, but I'll give you my opinion. I've read chapter 1 of your story and a fair bit of 2/3/4, and it's absolutely fantastic, but on the point of your character, I can see where they're coming from.
She seems a bit too much of a damsel in distress sort of character to be a main one, though I can understand that the things that are happening to her are bizarre and and frightening. Maybe during the guinea pig incident she could be sort of angry that someone hurt her precious pet? Maybe she could be indignant that these things are happening to her? That kind of thing.
Maybe give her a bit of a dark side, wanting to hurt the people that hurt her pet, that kind of thing. It's hard for me too judge because I tend to have the opposite problem with my characters, but maybe a bit of strength or variation in her character would help.
Though to be honest, I loved it regardless of this and I think that the character works. If anyone else agrees maybe you should change her, but maybe you're planning to have her evolve slightly as the story goes on? That could be a good angle.
Sorry for the essay, haha. Hope I haven't stepped on anyone's toes here, just wanted to help. I love your story and will read the rest soon, thanks for sharing, hope this helps. :)
eternaldream24
Thank you so much for the nice comments! :) :) :) I like your idea of her having a bit of a dark side. I might play around with that idea.
What I was really trying to go for with my MC is I wanted her to have a happy life, because my book gets more and more dark and sad as it goes on so I wanted to have a character that was happy and then take that away from them. I want her to learn about love and loss and real struggles. I didn't want to go the whole broken or no family route like twilight or harry potter.
So I know its impossible to please everyone, there will always be one person who hates your writing no matter what.
Thanks again for the comments! :)
MaliciousMudkip
Personally I think that would be a great way to do it, it'd make the audience want to see how far she falls and if she ever gets her happy, normal life back. I think in that case you can have her be a bit of a 'Mary Sue', and I think it would make her a character we can identify with and pity with. Don't feel like you have to change anything because there are some people who disagree with you, of course. There will always be someone that doesn't like it.
I would just do my best to make sure you don't end up making them right. Do make sure if you can, that she does get sad, that she does evolve as a character, she suffers, she gets angry, she hates etc. That would make for a very interesting story and a great character.
I look forward to seeing where you go with the rest of the story. Sorry for the long comments. :)