Food that makes you go MMMmmmMMM

olives

Especially tinned, black ones...

those ones from the night shop on the corner of your street andrea .. they weren't BAD ... all those lovely thin slices of garlic in them .... mmmmmmm ...

Oooh, and the quails eggs...(not that I ever tried 'em, mind). Gawd, that shop is EXPENSIVE!

i love cunning liguinis too!

I must admit to hating olives, I've tried, gawd how I've tried to acquire a taste for them, 'er indoors consumes them by the bucket load but I just can't stand them, so for me they are very unsexy....

I suppose they are pretty unsexy, come to think of it. Tasty, though. Actually, I'd completely forgotton about the food/sex link (sorry Liana). At my age, all you get is food, anyway...sigh.

cold pizza for beakfast anyone?

My friend Martin the Czech says that olives are sexy whether you like them or not (I loathe them) He says that watching someone eat olives is definitely sexy. I say, not if youre watching me eat them, gagging and shrieking for a tissue to spit into.

Why do people think oysters are sexy? Revolting is too good a word for them. Oh, and the oysters, too. A conny onny butty does it for me every time.

Nasty, watery, salty, slimy things, oysters. Never could see the attraction, personally. Thing is, they're s'posed to be an aphrodisiac and make you FEEL sexy (rather than LOOK sexy as you watch people sluuuurp them. Ugh). Never worked for me. Well, it wouldn't, would it? Mushrooms are far superior... Er...what's a conny onny butty (must be a Scouse thing, no?)

...or a means to get out of it... The foreplay, that is.

Yes, Andrea, it is a Scouse thing - like England's 5-1 win over Germany. OwenOwenOwenGerrardHeskey. Conny Onny = Condensed Milk. Remember that?

I used Condensed Milk In a very successful Chicken curry tonight, as a sweetner, totally recommend it, it worked wonders. Got the idea from the local take away. Also in the curry, as it's such a good recipe, Toasted Almonds, Coconut cream, Freash Ginger, fresh coriander, Orange Pepper, Chicken Stock, Red Lentils, condensed Milk. All the above are additions to a basic curry recipe, BUT is it sexy NO! It's lovely at the time then it's.... Windy, garlic breathy, windy, very, very fattening, and if it's too hot, you have a hot bot, NO! not sexy!

just read this by jonathan swift: Oysters Charming oysters I cry: My masters, come buy, So plump and so fresh, So sweet is their flesh, No Colchester oyster Is sweeter and moister: Your stomach they settle, And rouse up your mettle: They'll make you a dad Of a lass or a lad; And madam your wife They'll please to the life; Be she barren, be she old, Be she slut, or be she scold, Eat my oysters, and lie near her, She'll be fruitful, never fear her.

barren, old, slut, scold... a bit too PC for me, ol' Swifty.

Crikey! I'd better dash off to the fishmongers and buy some straight away! 'Cept it's Sunday...damn. Used to eat condensed milk straight out of the tin (before my tastes became somewhat more refained - spelling deliberate), but in a sandwich? Yuk!

That's it, I thought. All this talk of food made me rush out and load shopping bags with various sexy titbits. I bought the largest French loaf in England (freudian readers, do your worst). I sat in town, resting my weary pins when a seriously hairy, wide-pupiled guy came up and asked me for a light. I didn't have one and so strangely, he asked me for a cigarette. Then he started getting a little giggly and inexplicably started to fart very loudly, which made him giggle some more and pick at a large scab on his face. Moderately repelled by this lack of finesse in the pick-up department, I swept up my bags and tried to stalk away. Unfortunately, the top of my deliciously warm, crunchy loaf snapped off and rolled onto the floor, lying there like a giant's amputated finger. I cursed and when I returned home, the meal did not taste whole. Now I think of my half loaf, lying in the gutter. I am not complete. I had the olives, the hummus........................

Couldn't you have offered him a rennie Wolfie?

Look on the bright side, Wolfie - at least your other half was lying suitably consumed in the gutter. And at least you only lost yer top...

great thread liana! .... i agree that sex and writing have the same root ... and the writer needs FEEDING (in both departments) ... give me avocados ... give me hummus ... give me a very lovely blue cheese ... roquefort maybe ... then give me .... ahem ... oh dear ... *has stern word with self*

Avocados and hummus? Yuck!!! Give me chicken and chocolate any day!!!

i think it is a big mistake to think that chocolate is sexy ...

Andrea, you are always such an optimist. Can you be bottled so that I can dab you behind my ears when I'm feeling blue? Blackberries are sexy, especially when that dark, rich liquid runs out.........

Mmm... make that dinner for two, Ivory. And a bottle of Adelstrop Port? Perhaps the waiter could provide the... ahem... for you. I have to be back at The Rest Home For Chronically Groovy by 10pm. We've got DJ Paul Oakenfold, DJ Dieselboy and DJ Bad Boy Bill playing hot Vera Lynn scratch mixes for da boyz in da Hood (well, in Da Flat Capz, anyway) and you can watch da Blue Rinse Hot Totty Galz chill out on da Grandma-mbo web cam. Then it's Weetabix or Ibizamix for breakfast. What a drag it is growing old... Ah, but in my younger days...

Tirimisu...can't get enough of it........mmmmmmmm..... back sneaks off to the fridge to finish it off

Of course, I meant The Rest Home for Da Chronically Groovy. I often regret ticking the 'Early Senility' option on my Pension form. I do hope I don't get that disease that make old people forget things. You know the one I mean... Al's Diner, or something. Sorry, can you speak up? Where's my glasses? Ah - over there. My whisky glass and my Port glass. I'm lost without them. I was decorated in the War, you know. It was those blighters from 'Changing Rooms'. Painted me pink and stuck a Lampshade on my head. I'm still wearing it. Rather fetching, don't you think?

I've just re It's Al Zimmer's disease that makes old people I bought a new zimmer today with cool Go Slower stripes. Why don't my children write to me? Why do teenagers spit at me on the bus? Why is it only my ankles that swell up these days? Why is Asda three bus rides away? Why doesn't food make me go MMMmmmMMM anymore, but makes me go to the toilet twenty times a day? My hair is moonwhite. My skin is the parchment on which my life is written. My eyes, if you could see them, are kinder than a lamb's. I loved a girl before you were born. I still wear her kiss on my lips. My heart is as old and withered as an Autumn leaf. I am the generation that made you possible, impossible as you are. I would not have it any other way. Take care of the old - you will be them one day. Adelstrop overdose again. Now where's my saxophone?

Agree with asparagus - slightly overcooked and dripping with butter. And praline and cream ice cream is the best... Aromatic duck with pancakes Hot dogs with loads of onions (but only on bonfire night - the smell of bonfire and sparklers in the air, the ketchup and mustard on your fingers and the crowd 'oohing' at the fireworks are all somehow essential ingredients) Corn on the cob with *lots* of butter in the same situation (or from a BBQ at the Notting Hill Carnival) Cava, at any time but particularly when served for breakfast with fresh orange and raspberry juice, good fresh coffee, buttery croissants, raspberry jam and the Sunday papers

er ... W H Audi ah, W H Ardent oh, sod it! Thank you, kind Fey. Though I would prefer a Tango (the dance) to a Mango, and, hey, I think I'm big on resilient and tiny on brilliant. Though I do use Brilliantine. May I recommend Lucy Ellmann's 'Man or Mango' (Bloomsbury) to accompany your favourite repast? She is sharp, witty and wicked and married to a friend of mine. Fondest Regards, Wystan Hugh Audenary. DEFENDER OF THE (Marianne) FAITH (full).

Sticky fingers, all covered by honey. Dear oh dear. (English friend)

Jellied eals and mash drowning in green gravy... Winkles you pick out with a pin... Cockles and mussels (alive, alive oh...) Fish 'n chips in newspaper... Bangers and mushy peas... Maybe it's becorse I'm a Lundener...

I actually detest all of the above with the possible exception of the fish 'n chips. Oh, and the bangers...

chocolate is NOT sexy..melted chocolate definitely IS....ice cream..the more exotic the better... Corn, running in butter (see asparagus too) Anything thats supposedly forbidden...things that are impossible to eat without going "mmmm" and closing your eyes....

Actually, thinking about it more.... Watching somebody really enjoy what they eat, relish every mouthful, is probably the sexiest thing of all, isn't it?

Escargot swimming in garlic butter... Ditto prawns. Apologies to any veggies/vegans who may be offended by the mere thought of the aforementioned delicious dishes...

Chardonnay, strawberries....prailines and cream ice cream......food that is really rich and that you can't eat loads of because you start to feel ill after a bit..........never found a main course to be sexy sorry but i'm a dessert man myself gotta sweet tooth for sure....I don't see how some of the things above are sexy maybe i'm missing something........i'm off to experiment....err i mean..well that came out wrong i meant oh forget it bye!

I love liguini and clams in a clear sauce. It's in olive oil and a dash of white wine with plenty of butter. Ummm! Meremotal I must agree with you on the prailines and cream ice cream. Also there is a restaurant here that makes all sorts of little confections for your delight. Quite nice.

fey - agree about the mango ... and what about the humble banana?

My optimism is born out of suffering, Wolfie. Ahem. How much you willing to pay for the bottling business?

It is torture reading this thread whilst in the throes of grumbling hunger. Ummm...how wonderful it is to enjoy food. (DIET is a four letter word). Earl Grey tea, Champagne, Smoked Salmon (slithery, salty...that little bitterness of lemon juice dripping down your chin....), Linda McCartney sausage rolls (crispy on the outside, plump and succulent within), Falafel in pitta bread with hummus and salad. Give the bread a squeeze and it oozes down your face. Actually, all manner of bread is sexy, especially a large Greek loaf or a hot French one sliding out from the oven.................with brie that has been heated in the sun melting into its' flesh........small, sweet grapes. I live with a Frenchman so food is of very strong importance. A meal is an event....layer upon layer of pleasure..... Tom Jones does spring to mind (book, not singer) Liana, you are a very, very naughty girl.............

Oh, Wolfie, I lived with a Frog for 10 years (but that's another story... Ze boeuf bourgignon (is that how it's spelt?) Ze fromage du tete (no, perhaps, not!) Ze coq au vin Les escargots (think we had that one before) Le camenbert Pate liberally smeared on a fresh baugette (spelling again?)accompanied by a full-bodied Chateau Neuf du Pape... Cor...

We actually have got a bottle of the Chateau stuff but we've saving it for my published novel launch......the dust on it is so thick I could write a second novel there........Ah oui Andrea, you understand ze appetite of ze Frenchman. The only problem is the French do not embrace the concept of vegetarianism very happily...to them food must contain all the carnivore pleasures. However, I must admit to slavering over bacon sandwiches......it's the smell that's so rich and promising grease, grease and crunch.

Blimey! And what does your discerning Frog think of that, Wolfie? A vegetarian Frenchman? Bit like a veggie butcher, that...

He resists. French resistance. Therefore he eats meat. Sigh.