I'm Going Mad...

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I'm Going Mad...

I've been editting my query letter for two whole days. Yes, that means straight. I didn't eat. I barely slept. Not good, I know, but this is just bugging me too much.

I know how to structure it. I know how to address the agent. I realize credentials are important to include, but don't necessarily have to be (if in the event you have next to none - or the horrid 'None whatsoeva!'). Is that correct? Anyway, I know I have to keep it down to a page (300 words max. if possible), and that hooking the agent in with the first sentence is essential.

But it's so hard...why? Is it? SO hard? I mean, I never expected it to be easy: sit down, paper and pen, write, masterpiece. No, no, no...however, I never expected it to be this hard, either. And I guess all I'm saying is that I need a fresh pair of eyes to scan it for me...

Perhaps this is the wrong place to ask. And before you ask, I know places where people do just that. I've sat for hours considering that option. It's just...I'm a shy girl (as some of you may or may not already know) and the world can intimidate me to the point of hibernation or extreme timidness. Here, I feel a tad safer, a little more familiar, and I know for a fact that there are tons of helpful and talented and nice people on this site. But that's not to say the people on the other sites aren't as well, but I don't know...

If it's something in return you want for this HUGE-O favour, I'll do it. And I'll do it vigorously; with heart and good intentions. But maybe I really am getting ahead of myself. Maybe...I'm just too desperate.

The more you worry about it, the worse it gets. I wish that wasn't true but like all things in the book of sod that is the way. I'm sure you'll be just fine! And get some food! *S* Good luck love.

 

You're stressed out, that's all, otherwise it would be easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy. When do you need the damned letter for? You can either post it on here or email it to me and I'll take a look sometime tomorrow (Friday). I'm not saying my effort will be any better than yours, but at least I can look at it freshly and fairly stress free. I shan't expect owt in return (unless you happen to have any herring or turbot you don't want) - I'll do it out of the kindness of my blubbery walrus heart.
I'm in the same, sending-out-to-agents boat. I want Curtis Brown, for no other reason than when I was browsing their website one of the agents, suave, debonair, the type that fucks in an upper class accent, caught my eye. I decided then that I'd really like him to represent me, but alas, they don't want me. Then I tried Diana Banks because she looked proper classy... now I'll have anybody who'll have me. So I'm no authority on these matters, unless you want advice on how to get rejected, in which case just do what I do. But after my glowing credentials above, if you like me to have a look over it for you, I'd be more than happy. haveashotentertainment@gmail.com(link sends e-mail) My other suggestion would be far more practical. Why don't you write and ask Tony if he'd look at it for you. He's a very busy man but I'm sure he would spare ten minutes to read three hundred words for you and jot down some pointers. He's extremely kind and approachable. And if tony gets three hundred emails from people asking him to read stuff today... it really wasn't my suggestion. Don't know what you're talking about guv`

 

'fucks in an upper class accent,' - I love it, Sooz. hope you've used it in a story.
And that's so unfair, Stan, because some of the best writers are self taught, they're the ones that check out the 'rules' and deftly chuck them in the bin along with all the other cruddy advice and proceed to write in their own, inimitable way. I tried a creative writing group for a few months years back, and it was crap, because you have a series of stuffed shirts giving you a seemingly never-ending list of vastly different sets of advice, but all of them insist that their way is the only correct way..... I don't know if these fancy pants agents are looking for a particular formula in a cover letter, maybe it's worth Googling. And maybe it's then worth running cunning and doing the diametric opposite of what you're advised to do and, hopefully, knock 'em for six..... I dunno. As Sooz said, you can do everything you're supposed to do to the letter and still get rejected. I've never actually written such a letter, but as a writer I've gradually figured out ways of telling it how it is and lying through my teeth - but maybe that talent isn't useful in this case.
Hmph. Thanks Zal, I greatly admire your words. :) Walrus, I knowwwww! And it's driving me crazy. If depriving myself of food, rest, and a proper breather doesn't hint stress, then I don't know what does. :/ I don't need a golden letter for a specific time, but I'm really trying to push myself, since I've had the full - the one I'm to introduce with this bloody query - for like, four years! But thank you, thank you so much! Should I just hit the Contact button on your profile...? (never done it before). Sooz, I think you're a fantasic writer! Thanks a bunch for the invitation. It would really help me out, and it means so much. I've considered your suggestion before about asking Tony, also, but...I never thought it would actually work. So I refrained. I think I may take up on it, though. Stan, the query letter I'm pulling my hair out over is for a novel. YA, fantasy. The word count is something I also worry about, because I was afraid that as a freelance newbie writer (with barely any credentials to start and no prior uni degress or writing class memberships), an eight figure WC is too much. I don't know. Anyway, the query letter is crap right now, I think. Hence, why I need help with it. And the story itself needs some editting...I know I'm young enough and all, but I don't want to wait anymore. :( It would take me ages to read over 300 pages and flatten out the god-awful creases. On that note, getting an editor to do that dirty work for me would cost way too much... For the few people who have heard the concept, at least, thought it was interesting. I don't know if that counts, though, because the way I depicted my thoughts, the plot, and several ideas could be, well, not interesting. I've had a couple people (within the family) read my query letter - admist me trying to fix up the mess it was initially. They thought it sounded interesting. Argggg, but who really knows? I never had much harsh critiquing done by my aforementioned proofreaders. The agents are the ones I need to impress! Meh. Thanks to all, again.

Jess

If you want me to take a look at your letter and make suggestions I'm perfectly willing to, Jessica. It's what, 5.45 now, I have a few things to see to around the house for two or three hours, then I'm free. I don't have the experience a lot of writers on here have with such things, so I'll probably overlook a number of important points and make blunders, but you've probably done most of the hard work already and looking at it freshly might be all it needs. What's probably best is for a few folk to look at it, then at least you'll have some different opinions to mull over before you make your final decision. If you press the 'contact' button you can copy and paste the letter and send it via email. I think the ABC gizmo withholds your email address for privacy reasons, and the only way I can send my reply is by doing the same thing, I'm not absolutely sure. Omit personal details, etc., if it makes you feel comfortable (though my cereal killing days are now restricted to murdering Weetabix and the only things I stalk nowadays are gooseberries), and I'll take a look later this evening.
A six figure word count as in 100,000, my bad. :3 And I mean, it's not so bad, I suppose. But after hearing about the whole 'The longer it is, the more money we'll have to put on the line [risk] to sell it' (or something like that) from publishers - secondhand - I've always been frightened. I do hope you're right, though, Stan, about impressing even the most jaded agent. :) I've sent off a query letter once before, have I mentioned that? I told myself before I sent it off, though, that I wasn't going to cry or fall into one of my spiralling depression pits if a rejection came back - or nothing at all, which implies the same thing. And that's exactly what happened. Obviously. But it's ok! I just want to make a better impression this time around. I'll admit that for a bit I stopped writing, but then I came back into its flow, because I realized that it's pretty much what I want more than anything, haha. I'm just really avid about writing. That second last paragraph of yours really lifted my chin, by the way. It's going to be hard, but I'll just think: the faster I get this step done, the faster all else may unfold. And, gestation festation. :P You're up there on the list of my favourite ABCtales writers. Period.

Jess

I've just emailed my suggestions, Jess, I hope they help.
Lol. Oh hush, Stan! Seriously, you're fantastic. Every incha ya. So do me a favour and shush up, keep writing, and bask in it - thanking God for the impeccable talent you got now. :O You're right, though, about taking what you know and writing about it. I heard that that usually makes your piece more realistic and simply enhances it overall. (Duh). And I try. If you noticed, though, a lot of my work is sad or resembling a crumbling world, and stuff like that... Don't know if that ever said something. :/ I'll take a peek at that thread, too; sounds interesting. And I can't believe he would do that! I mean, okay, I've tried it a while back, but it was only like, a chapter. A short one. And hey, before I forget...I actually have a question for you. Have you ever had anyone edit your stories?

Jess

If you changed your mind about sending your letter, hun, that's absolutely fine, I'm sure you've got it sussed an it's perfect. But, just in case you did send it and think I'm ignoring you, I wanted to let you know that I never got it. I've got a horrible feeling my email might be .co.uk, not .com. I really can't remember which it is.

 

Sooz! I'm sorry. :( I haven't sent it yet. Yesterday was it, my laptop died so I wasn't able to send it off...I was just thinking of sending it to you, too. I swear. Your feedback or onceover would mean so much to me. I'll try both .com and .co.uk, is that alright?

Jess

I've been doggy-paddling through the agents' pool, and decided to edit my query letter...again. With the help of those on this site and the ones on another site, which I recommend... Ahem. I'm proud to say that I think it's headed in the right direction. If any of you would like to check it out, let me know. If not, that's cool, too. Hehe. :)

Jess