Four fags, fears and human kindness
I treated myself to four cigarettes in bed this morning instead of my usual three before alighting.
Big deal you may say, but if I'd rushed out of bed at soon after ten and not had that fourth fag I may never have overcome the last of my remaining fears that have dogged me since birth.
Anyway, whilst I was merrily tooting away, and casually wondering what this thing called fear is, I suddenly remembered, I've always had a fear of being hauled off by strangers and locked in a padded cell wearing nothing but a straitjacket.
I was very comfortable in my soft cotton sheets listening to Classic FM, and, I can be so very stupid, only then realised, that the padded cell and the straitjacket isn't an instrument of torture and something to be feared but, rather, a human invention meant to protect life and prevent someone from self-harming.
On realising how stupid I'd been for privately hoarding this irrational fear for so long (I'm nearly half a century) I wanted to give myself a good old slap. But then I thought, hang on, you should be congratulating yourself, you may never have noticed that the straitjacket and padded cell is actually an example of fellow feeling and human kindness.
Well, I was enjoying myself by then so, I didn't mention it before but, I lit up a fifth smoke whilst I pondered awhile on Freedom and Responsibility, Free Will and Self-Determination, and Reason and Imagination.
Does anyone else find that smoking and contemplation are harmless and ancient ways of pleasuring oneself that one isn't going to be giving up in a hurry?
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Parson Thru
Parson Thru