Bush Poetry

strewth andrea! never implied anyone was taken in. just that alice asked us to come out the closet. that was me coming out. wish I'd left after the anthem now as I had intended originally. I'm off to drink Canada Dry. Pawl.

An' I'm John L, too...

Blimey, Andrea. Now I don't want this should scare ya but I guess that means you and me are as one. How Buddhist is that? Perfect.

See, told ya! Now I'm talking to myself. Although not in Exeter...

Alright, I'm really Andrea, alias John L, alias Paul Luther 1, alias Rolf F****ing Harris and on me day off I'm stormy and on alternate wednesdays MYB!

Busy life then, eh Alice? 'Specially if you're me as well. Hermaphrodite, too. Remarkable. Ah well, keeps you off the streets I s'pose...

Time to post some more of me poems. Poetry is the new sheep shearing, so I'm told.

Exeter? So tell me Andrea when was/were I, you, me, us in Exeter. And were Alice and all these others with us too? I'm scared. Strange as it may seem to the rest of you I like to be just me and nobody else. It's not that I'm any great shakes but I'm just used to being me. Anyway, my personality is already split enough without you lot joining in. Whoever else I might be pretty obviously I'm not Paul TheOtherOne. I've got far to much class to write dodgy Oz poems about having carnal knowledge with a variety of marsupials. If Hermaphrodite is that bloke with the girlie bits thrown in for good measure can I be him please? Then I can provide my own entertainment without ever setting foot outside again.

Oh, I can't keep this up! I'm really mississippi, I got fed up being everybody else anyway!

...don't believe a word of it, Alice! Missus ain't an Aussie, for a start

One things for sure Broose, you ain't no Henry Lawson or Banjo Patterson is ya?

Alice!!!! you made it then possum> its grate to have a mate on the site. sorry your' so tired. do i know henry? banjo was the bozo I got bladdered with down at the kukaburra inn last tuesday wasn't it? pr'aps henry was there too. aint broose spelt with a c? you no me alice, cant abide sloppy spelling. anyways keep yer beaver cool girl. gonna be a scorcher today.

This thread was brought to you by: Pull The Other One (Paul Le Uther One) Productions Unlimited. No animals were harmed in the making of this thread and all references to abc contributors, living or deceased, was purely coincidental. All spelling mistakes and innuendo was entirely deliberate. I was particularly proud of 'prat of a novel'. I bet you all wish you had read the streaming thread more closely now? Thank you all for allowing me to waste your time these past few days. It's been fun possums. Anyone else in confessional mood may unmask themselves below. I am afraid that, due to possible legal actions from other threads, I have to remain annonymous. G'day!

Oh Paul, you jester, you! And we never guessed...

Stop bleating about the Bush, Paul.

two alice's !! oh wow. I love this place. I will be writing a sheep poem just for now alice pring. can i call you alice 2? I think i will call it bleat. I have to go to work soon. I've nearly finished koala alice 1.

and there was me thinking paul was related to phyllis ...

What a load of cods-wallop, Fish!

Who's the bloody Sheila tryin' to jump my claim? Ya don't know Henry Lawson fer christs sake? He was shearing up in Queensland when she didn't even know she owned the place!

It's "prat of a book"? - you said it, sport.

Where is `Stormy` when you need him?

About three postings up, MYB?

You people are so funny! I love this place. who is stormy? does he write bsuh poetry too? It was a tpyo skidmark. Thanks for all your help. it's bedtime for me. g'night.

Bushman Paul, Are you any relation to Phyllis Smallbird? You are both astoundingly talented poets in your own fields... er... bushes. Highly (ab)original work. I loved your first poetry collection: 'Ayers and Graces'. Ayers rocks, man!

Apologies to Alice #1. I didn't mean to jump your claim. I've changed my name by deed poll to 'Queen Slander'. You are now the only Alice in this whoccy wonderland. G'day!

Just trying out me new handle, possums. It's kinda cute. Suits me, sir.

Eh up Paul, 'ere's a ditty for your set. Waltzing Pasta Hilda oh there once was a spagman cramped in a silly thong Under the shade of a spaghetti tree and he sang as he looked at his old willy boiling who’ll come waltzing pasta hilda with me? wishing you lots of success me duck. you'll need it 'ere

Mark, You rang Lord?

You up yet, Paul?

It was Barbara, I could hear her bleating, Not for me so ?

I'm a distant cousin of Paul's. He's alway goofing off like this. Well, ever since he went on that picnic at Hanging Rock with Kylie. He said she blew him away. Or something like that. He should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky. Sorry 'bout that - Abo-ddingtons beer always repeats on me. Fair dinkum to yer, yer whingin Poms!

Hiya Paulie, ya cussins a dirty rotten liar, my Kylie never 'blew' anybody 'cept me. Oh, and that Donovan tosser.

Hey Mark, get yourself some prawns and tinnys and get over to me barby, I jus' finished up in the sheds and need to chill out fer a bit. Me mates are all down from Gundagi and we got some real hot Sheilas jus' lookin' to get laid!

Are Sheilas what you nail on the roof of an Australian house to keep the rain from leaking through?

Surely that's shillelagh's, Thyme?

Once had a 'roo Known for it's pooh. Shat on me cat And that was that

la la la, la la lala la, la la la la la lala la....... bush poet baby, yer driving me crazy!

George Dublya George Dublya I'd like to throttle ya You fixed them chads You got me mads Sorry, Mr President, sir. Didn't mean to troubleya. I kinda chickened out there, didn't I?

How'd you know I'm a baby, baby? I could be a big macho wannabe, sorry, wallaby

G'day poms! hey that's more like it! some get down groovy reaaaalll bush poetry being produced now. That barbie is a sneaky one ain't she? I've nearly finished koala. in the mean time this is my tribute to that great whaler .... Bob Marlinspike. I've called it: Reggae Shark Attack No legs I cried No legs I cried No legs I cried No legs I cried Cause I remember when I used to swim in a surfing yard in Bondi beach town observing the ozzie chicks mingle with the good bodies we meet good limbs we have, oh, good limbs we have lost in the spray as this great white you can’t forget the sight of the fin swimming in, I say No legs I cried No legs I cried thanks to albertos y los trios paranoias. I stole their idea but the werds is mine all mine you barby's. see ya after me breakfast possums

You mean you can't feel it yet Sheila?

not so chatty today huh? you're always around when I'm not. I finished this over me eggs. easy. this is my koala pome. Koala Bare Little fluffy bear posing on a tree trunk blanky brown eyed stare at tourists who are drunk but that’s because he’s stuffed the real one lives with me out the back where it’s rough and nowhere near the sea once I took my clippers and sheared him like a sheep a snorkel and some flippers for the sheep dip is quite deep I covered him in sunblock factored for marsupials took a drive to Ayres rock and smoked pharmacuticals we were both very high the view is quite spectacular man, dig this @!#$ and die bear said in vernacular it must have been the joint hallucinations I swear for what is the point of a talking koala bare please feel to complement me. i'm not at all shy. p.

Andrea. alice wasn't me. sorry. Mark. I thought your goat had taken over as forum mascot seeing that Babara had become too shagged out? Paul. I see you as a kind of camp Mel Gibson with a penchant for small furry animals. I hear they play some good tunes too. I've also noticed your spelling has improved lately Paul. Hmm?

Seeing as how this is an amusing thread what say we all take off our masks? Just this once! I'll go second!

I've got a beard. I wear glasses. I sometimes have three legs. I once had a wooden horse. Can you guess who I am yet? I can tell you that he who calls himself 'Stormy' is really a Petrel in deep disguise. And Fish plays right back for Charlton Athletic.

Ok, Alice, I'll own up first, then... I'm really...PAUL LEUTHERONE! Next?

No, I'm Paul Leutherone!

Oooh, you fibber!

No, I'm the fibber!

You seem to be under a misapprehension about my ID. but I really am Paul Leutherone! I may talk to you later on this subject but for now I leave you with Australia's unofficial national anthem. The Bruce's Philosophers Song. Copywrite His Majesty Monty Python:Immanuel Kant was a real pissant Who was very rarely stable Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar Who could think you under the table David Hume could out consume Schopenhauer and Hegel And Wittgenstein was a beery swine Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel There’s nothing Niestzsche couldn’t teach ya ‘bout the raising of the wrist Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, on half a pint of shandy was particularly ill Plato, they say, could stick it away half a crate of whiskey every day Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle Hobbes was fond of his dram and Rene Descartes was a drunken fart “I drink therefore I am” Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed A lovely little thinker But a bugger when he’s pissed. Australia! Australia! We love you! Amen!