Film Sequels

Citizen Kane II: Days of Wine and Rosebuds Kane rises back from the dead to take revenge on those garbadgemen who burned his sled. Back to the Future Part IV: In Hell Doc Brown goes into the distant future where they try to save Marty McFly's great-great grandson, the Anti-Christ. Amadeus Part II Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart rises back from the dead to, this time, force Salieri to write a great masterpiece. However, when Salieri finished it and commenced a presentation to the king, he realized that he has forgotten it. Salieri ends up living until the year 1975, when Mozart gave that masterpiece to Freddie Mercury and invited Salieri to a Queen concert where he hears that song and commits suicide this time with extra-strength razor blades. Jurassic Park IV: You Knew it Was Coming A tyrannasaurus rex gains intellictual capabilities and builds a nuclear bomb. Sam Neill and Jeff Goldblum must go back to the dinasaur island to disarm the bomb while Laura Dern and Richard Attenbourogh must foil the dinasaur uranium extraction efforts. Friday the Thirteenth Part--Where Were We? The guy with the chain saw rises back from the dead again, except he begins to appreciate classical music, an industry where he introduces the chainsaw as an important musical instument.

Bit like Eminem, you mean?

Female Munchkins are Munchkins. In our tribe we do not discriminate by using gender identification by title. This confuses a lot of big people as they don't see our women in public because they are kept where they should be; in the protection of the home.

'I wanna be free-ee'

So Americans don't have an interesting past, hey, donignacio. That's not what my mate Big Chief Moonshine was telling me as we shared a Pipe of Peace down the Warhorse and Wigwam the other night. According to him, Columbus (or whoever, before I get a god damn history lesson) only stumbled on America by accident on his way to Portugese Goa before it belonged to Portugal. He didn't discover it and he certainly didn't invent it. This would be a bit like me walking into a St. Paul's Cathedral and then claiming I'd built the entire bloody place just because I personally had never been there before. Big Chief Moonshine reckons that him and his mates got there about 20,000 years before Chris bothered to show up to the party with a big bag of shiny beads and wagon loads of missionary zeal. He reckons things were OK up till then. Must admit though, it's a bit hard to believe that a bunch of tomahawk-waving savages with red skins (so Colombus was colour blind as well as directionally challenged - what a bloody Prince among Men) could construct anything approaching a civilised society without the calming and peaceful influence of 15th century European culture. Big Chief Moonshine was just in the middle of telling me how what happened to all his brothers and sisters was probably the World's first and biggest ( to date - watch this space) case of genocide when he took a big toke on his pipe, grinned inanely and said 'Who gives a @!#$, anyway?' I don't think he was paying attention when I replied 'No one, Moonshine, no one.' I think he was dreaming of impossibly huge forests, wide-open prairies, copious herds of buffalo and somewhere to live that wasn't called a reservation.

I've never listened to eminem. They use chainsaws in their songs? All the munchkins migrated to Kansas. And they won't talk to anyone.

Braveheart: the true version U455(or whatever bloody number): the true version Enigma: the true version Pearl Harbour: the true version Michael Collins(or whatever it was called): the true version For the life of me I cannot think what the one about the American Civil War was called! anyway: the true version a new film called 'Hollywood Histories' : this would be about screenwriters adapting history to the slushy tastes of gullible American audiences (no offence Don. I consider you to be an honourary Brit anyway). and on a different tack: Fahrenheit 450: it would be about piles of books mysteriously linked to a scientist who had made a slight miscalculation. Saving Private Ryan (almost): yes, an improved ending in this version. The Sound of Music II: The kids eventually meet up again on flight 37821 unaware that they had all joined the Baader-Meinhof Gang at separate training camps. The Sound of Music III: The Final Mission Mary Pop Pouts: a blue movie featuring umbrellas, pigeons, dicks, vans and dykes. *what the fuckingbuggeringbollocks was that crap film called?*

LoL at Mary Pop Pouts......maybe then she would actually need a "spoon full of sugar" to help the ahem, "medicine" go down.

The Patriot thank god for the internet. now I can go to bed

linsi .... clearly you have watched too many of these films! Dick

(I suppose I'd better adapt to the different spelling of honorary.) Thanks for the new title, stormy! I've always wanted to be a Brit! I don't want to have to correct you after receiving that most appreciated title, but here it goes anyway. "The Patriot" was not about the American Civil War, but the American Revolutionary War. Don't worry though, that was an innacurate account of the Revolutionary War as well. A great Civil War movie to see (though not accurate, either, even though we watched in American History class in high school) is "Glory" starring Matthew Broderick. The plot revolves around General Bueller faking sick for three straight years to play in the war. Jeffrey Jones also stars as the Confederate General. (I've seen WAY too many movies, wouldn't you say?)

Oh, here's why there are so many inaccurate American movies: Because we don't have an interesting past of own like you do in Europe, we thought we'd make up our own.

Stormy...I aint saying nuttin' (only that sugar would certaintly help Old Pop Bags in her new acclaimed title of blue movie queen) Thankyou and goodnight....

I think stormy's spelling leaves a bit to be desired tonight don. He also got his wars mixed up due to thinking about an argument he once had with an American who claimed that black regiments were formed in the war of independance when of course that was in the civil war some time later. if he were here now instead of being tucked up in bed he would, of course, apologise profusely and use a dictionary next time he wanted to use a word greater in length than 5 letters. dork