read this today:
"padded prose makes readers doze" - Durant Imboden.
www.writing.org
Some sound advice on this site. It has an American bias but still makes for good reading for those new to writing.
How does a thread change mid-flight?
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It started life as an honourable quote serach query then decended into nonsense, on the way I did spot a fimble fowl, but no unicorns.
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Intertextual quote no. 1
"how do we keep the thread and save our heads when all around are choosing flares"
post
Fred did you read this whole thread ? I did appear to keep to it's original idea...most of the time..... and what's wrong with a little diversion anyway...these threads assume a life of their own...who are we to attempt to control them ?
My mate on being asked to dance by a very attractive young lady at a New Year Party
'Only if it's a horizontal folk dance honey'
He was only kidding but it earned him a smack in the gob anyway!
Now I would have been really cool and smooth and asked for the shag later!
"Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if PacMan affected us as kids,
we'd all be running around in darkened rooms,
munching pills and listening to repetitive music"
ho ho
Said Fred to Freda
"If this fish aint fed then I'm gonna feed her"
Freda said to Fred
"If you feed my fish then I'll fry your head"
"OK!" said Fred and proceedingly freed her.
Freda said "fine, now what's for dinner?"
Here's one from the master himself, Hemmingway. In his memoir, A Movable Feast, he recalls thinking to himself;
"Do not worry. You have always written before and you will write now. All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know."
(piece of cake, eh?)
I also love when Hamlet tells Rosencrantz and Guildenstern;
"...for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so..."
I don't know why, but that line from Fight Club, thus;
"I want you to hit me as hard as you can."
(kind of scans well, that)
There's this;
"Of course it's insane. That's why it's the only thing to do."
(from Catch 22)
And this from Wittgenstein;
"The problems are solved, not by giving new information but by arranging what we have known since long."
Lyrics;
"slowly walking down the hall faster that a cannonball"
Finally, the inane and ubiquitous;
"you are the weakest link..."
and all its derivations...
cheers!
fjf
Can't beat Woody Allen -
I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
"How do I know why there was the holocaust, I don't even know how to work the tin-opener" (or words to that effect)
(About tv eveangelists) "If Jesus ever came back and saw what was going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up."
Can't remember anymore.
BAD song lyrics (while on the subject of Oasis) -
Live for your toys, even though they make noise.
Following on from Julian....bad lyrics
Wham
Wake me up before you go - go
Dont leave me hanging on like a yo - yo
J-Lo
Think l'm gonna drive your benz I wont
If I wanna floss, I got my own.
And heres a good thought for a thread....misheard lyrics
misheard lyrics...my mum reminded me recently of the day in 1974 when she heard me singing along to glen campbell's "like a 9 stone cowboy"
it was a tuesday
woody allen referred to his brain as his "second favourite organ", and to masturbation as "sex with someone you love". both rather nice thoughts
sorry about all the inverted commas
My 12 year old sprog, a Marley fan, sings away lustily to 'Try Me'. Unfortunately he's under the impression that it's 'Dried Meat'...
Ah well, out of the mouths of babes, eh?
Just watched the Amnesty 40th bash thing on C4.
Highlight of the night, IMHO, apart from Tom Jones (god how I hated him when I was a kid, but he just gets better and now I appreciate a good voice, which Morrisey hasn't (stuff the lyrics)) singing with the stereophonics, and the updated four yorkshiremen sketch, was a line from Sean Lock:
"sharks only attack you when you are wet"
apologies for the robert style annoying inverted comma finger pointy thing.
From Lord of the Flies - Simon, on climbing the mountain to face the Beast - "What else is there to do?"
That's got wonderful rhythmn and despite containing only six commonplace words carries such weight in the story.
My all-time favourite is a Grant Morrison (though there are just so many) - 'even the light was bad, like sour milk'
Oh go on, another Grant
"What do you want ? Please, I have a heart condition..."
"Naw, you can keep your heart condition, we just want your cash"
Cliche phrase I most detest - used regularly by teachers of all generations - 'There's no such word as can't ' Sorry, yes there is. Look it up, you moron. You're supposed to have a degree and a dictionary.
would like to point out on stormy's behalf that the above 'server.ntl.com' was not him and, furthermore, he doesn't understand the quote anyway. He asks me to beg the following:
"Why would you want to flog it until it moves?" "Are dead horses involved?" "Did it cost much in the first place?"
Lastly, he apologises for the robert style annoying inverted comma finger pointy thing once again.
'It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose' Darren Weinberg
A particular favourite to quote at my long suffereing teachers....
'Education..the inculcation of the incomprehensible into the ignorant by the incompetent' Josiah Stamp.
The obligatory soppy one
' to the world you may be one person but to one person you mat be the world'
and an interesting one to throw into dull conversation
'Reality is merely an illusion albeit a very persistent one'
There's a nice Michael Faraday one too,
"All this is just a dream. Still, examine it with a few experiments"
I like the mixture of world-weariness and optimism.
(I'm not that brainy, it is on the inside of a Billy Bragg album)
"Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him." --Mel Brooks
"He pleasantly reminded me of a blonde Satan."
(someone).
Or:
"I kissed thee 'ere I killed thee
No way but this; Killing myself
To die upon a kiss" (the good old bard)
Frequently used, abused by me:
One to use when accused of flippancy:
'Jesters do oft prove prophets.' - The Fool, King Lear
On fatalistic days:
'As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport.' - King Lear
An oldie but a good defender:
'Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.' - Mae West
A modern classic and VERY often used by me:
'I couldn't face the thought of being outnumbered.' - Richard E Grant on explaining why he decided to only have one child.
Say it how is award goes to:
'Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the yard and shot it.' Truman Capote.
Will I give an amazing quote on my deathbed? Perhaps. More than likely it will be:
"Bugger".
'This wallpaper is killing me. One of us must go'.
Oscar Wilde on deathbed.
'I'm prepared to meet my maker. The question is, is he prepared to meet me?'
Winnie Churchill, of whom I'm not too fond, but it's a nice quote.
Wonder what it is with dying words?...
Aldous Huxley had a good one too, if only I could remember it.
What kinds of punishments are reserved for poets? I asked him. Oh, many, he replied, and very appropriate they are. Some are tormented by being forced to listen to praise being heaped upon the work of other poets; and as for the rest, they are punished by being scrubbed clean.
-Quevedo - 'The Bedevilled Constable' (1627)
Like a piece of ice on a hot stove the poem must ride on its own melting
-Robert Frost
A poet can survive anything but a misprint.
-Oscar Wilde.
I work all day and hardly drink at all.
-Les Murray
I drink all day and hardly work at all.
-Eddie Gibbons.
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