Great deathbed quotes nicked from an encyclopedia on the English language:
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"It's all been very interesting" Lady Mary Montagu
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"It would really be more than the English could stand if another century began and I were still alive. I am dying as a lived - beyond my means" Oscar Wilde
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"I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's the record... After 39 years, this is all I've done" Dylan Thomas
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"Does nobody understand?" James Joyce (despite the saddness of this quotation I'm still inclined to say "Well you DID write Uylsses").
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"On the whole I'd rather be in Philadelphia" W.C. Fields
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"If this is dying, I don't think much of it" Lytton Strachey
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"I am about to, or am going to, die. Either expression is used" Dominique Bouhours (grammarian)
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"Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough" Karl Marx
Everything Dorothy Parker ever said, including:
One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
(Writing a review as 'Constant Reader' in 'The New Yorker')
And it is that word 'hummy', my darlings, that marks the first place in 'The House at Pooh Corner' at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
Katharine Hepburn runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
Men seldom make passes
at girls who wear glasses.
Scratch a lover, find a foe.
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
(on being challenged to use 'horticulture' in a sentence)
How do they know?
(reaction to the death of President Calvin Coolidge)
If all the girls at a Yale Prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be surprised.
Excuse my dust.
(suggested epitaph for herself)
"I like reminiscing with complete strangers" - steve wright(the yank not the idiot DJ)
"What to you add to dehydrated water?" - steve wright(Do)
"Cherry picked stories represent the very best of writing on ABCtales" - soft lads da (my arse)
Very flat, Norfolk.
Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs.
Oscar wilde:-
No publisher should ever express an opinion of what he publishes. That is a matter entirely for the critic to decide.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet."
Kafka
the plain state of being human is dramatic enough for anyone; you don't need to be a heroin addict or a performance poet to experience extremity. you just have to love someone
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there is nothing that unites two sets of english football supporters so much as a dog running onto the pitch
"Perhaps it would be better not to be a writer, but if you must, then write. You feel dull, you have a headache, nobody loves you, write. If all feels hopeless, if that famous 'inspiration' will not come, write. If you are a genius, you'll make your own rules, but if not -- and the odds are clearly against it -- go to your desk, no matter what your mood, face the very
challenge of the paper -- write." --J. B. Priestley
"What is a poet? An unhappy person who conceals profound anguish in his heart but whose lips are so formed that as sighs and cries pass over them they sound like beautiful music."
Kierkegaard
# "We are not amused - quick, somebody tell us a knob joke." Queen Victoria
# "The workers have nothing on but their bras and panties. Phwor!" Karl Marx
(both as quoted by Ade Edmondson in 'The Complete Bastard's Book of the Worst')
"They called me mad, and I called them mad, and damn them, they outvoted me!"
Nathaniel Lee, a 17th century playwright as he was carted off to Bethlem having being certified as 'insane'. I love this quote cos it perfectly encapsulates the whole idea of the societal definitions of actions/people being more important than the actions/people themselves. Therefore no act is in itself evil or bad, it is only defined as such by society, and so I can do exactly what I like whenever I like without any guilt at all :) I'm off to rob Barclays now, see you in a bit......
When you are sick of the fact that you have been ignoring beauty around you, and have instead been letting relationships get you down, think of a quote from Jane Austin: "What are men to rocks and mountains". Too true.
"In a novel there is plenty of room to have characters stop and sniff flowers; in a short story the flower-sniffing had better tell us something important about the person, or be important to what is going to happen, or both." --Neil Gaiman
I like the small of a women's back, I like slow wet kisses that last three days.....bla bla bla....it's from Bull Durham, I can't remember the whole of the quote but it was all down here from there for me
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