How to walk on water by Jem.

I liked this, some of the descriptions of the outside world craziness reminded me of Fortran 5 by Simon Leonard. It glances over things a bit, I want to know more, hopefully that's coming. Few typos mind, wants another edit.

"a September that had already lasted several months and was refusing to budge; vendors selling newspapers in every damn language but English; dogs bloodily tearing eachother tail from snout in the street, and an army of hot air balloons carrying people away to he didn't know where" Very promising start to a fantasy story, Jem's laid down plenty of avenues for weird possibilities with a very off-beat lead character and his family. Could do with a bit of spell- and grammar-checking though. Thanks for flagging this, QueenElf

By the way, and to be extremely pedantic, the sounds 'chee' and 'ky' have no meaning in either of the major japanese romatization systems. Jem probably wants 'chi' and 'ke', but maybe that was deliberate. Sorry. I'll get me coat.

Thanks much for the helpful comments guys - Ive never embarked on writing a story before so was a bit nervous about putting it on the site, but youve made me feel like writing the next chapter! Not knowing anything about any of the Japanese romatization systems (shamefully) I will take your word for it maddan and change accordingly... thanks again jem

Hats off to Jem. ‘Graffiti dripped from the walls in Harrow and flowed in delicate rainbow trickles towards the gutters’ ‘save for the fact that this sense of the not-quite-right stretched out, and seemed to cover the whole of sunny London like a suffocating expanse of Clingfilm.’ are great images. look forward to more.

Definitely - some real Welsh words, esp some magical sounding ones, would be great - I was just stringing l's and w's together! If you know any Welsh spells for summoning dragons or shrinking wizards that would be even better... :)

this is a fascinating first chapter and you have brought to life your characters, which i am learning is crucial in a successful novel. really looking forward to chapter 2. Juliet

This is a wonderful Chapter One. You've set so many things in motion, the directions you could go from here or numerous - but you have such a natural style that I imagine whichever you choose will be just as good as the foundation. I really liked this line, as I'm a sucker for alliteration: An air of forgetfulness and forgoteness fell about the flat but its not just the alliteration - this was a great line anyway. foster.