Ordering Room Service by macmanaman
Mon, 2007-10-22 16:50
#1
Ordering Room Service by macmanaman
I just love this. It's exactly how I feel in my decent moments - and it's how my wife tells me to feel when I get stroppy at lack of service somewhere. It touches a nerve with me and that's the best thing about a good poem:
http://www.abctales.com/story/mcmanaman/ordering-room-service
Brooklands
This is lovely. A choice stanza break too. All the details feel well judged.
passerby
I really enjoyed this poem. It conjures up a lovely picture of what might or mightn't go on in the invisible world down the end of all those hotel telephone wires.
drew_gummerson
Agree about the stanza break too and made me laugh. Very nice!
Enzo v2.0
Great stuff, made me laugh too.
Now I know I'm being dim but can someone explain why line / stanza breaks are better in one place and not another.
And although I laughed at this and thought it good, am I not really 'getting it' if I don't see why the line breaks are where they are?
Enzo v2.0
Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like God.
Should read: "Thought it *was* good."
mcmanaman
Hi enzo
line breaks can add a real bounce to a poem, it's not really about emphasising a certain line, it's more about helping the poem's flow, allowing the stanzas to run into each other.
I don't think there are any rules, line breaks are just something you can play around with until it looks right on the page.
thanks for feedback,
mcmanaman