Abc editors unmasked

After extensive and covert surveillance (and at great risk to my own safety)I have unmasked several of the anonymous ABC editors. Here is a breakdown of those hidden employees and their predilections:

PK Intray is a software consultant from Nairobi  with a special interest in placing illicit stationary orders and stockpiling reams of foolscap and staplers.  Her interest is in animal fiction and stories in which a helper figure (often a woodland elf) points the way to  Honeysuckle Cottage

Randy California is a 34-year-old organic  fruit juice entrepreneur from Big Sur. Famously fingered in the Bananagate scandal when he was caught selling  cheap knock off fruits as windward isles Fair-trade produce.

Chlamydia Most Annoying is a poet and refers to herself as a poetaster. She likes anything with swirly language and cod nineteenth century diction, phrases such as 'twice becalmed by the integuments of desire...  oh gibbous moon how thou hast withered and waned  whilst I have laid  back meekly dreaming my azure dream of irremediable fecundity..' Is she real or an intelligent cyber entity drawing her material from Babel Fish?

Abdullah Bidulla  disgraced Iranian cleric  who smuggled heroin in caviar tins during the eighties and later played bass with African Hedgehog.  Prefers religious tracts and limericks