English is a Crazy Language

this is an excerpt from the first chapter in the best-selling book called, Crazy English, written by Richard Lederer.

"In the crazy English language, the blackbird hen is brown, black boards can be blue or green, blackberries are green and then red before they are ripe. Even if blackberries were really black and blueberries really blue, what are strawberries, cranberries, elderberries, huckleberries, raspberries, boysenberries, mulberries and gooseberries supposed to look like?... there is no butter in buttermilk, no egg in eggplant, no grape in grapefruit, neither worms nor wood in wormwood, neither pine nor apple in pineapple, neither peas nor nuts in peanuts, no ham in the hamburg ... that hot dogs can be cold, darkrooms lit, homework done at school, nightmares take place in broad daylight, while morning sickness and daydreaming can take place at night, tomboys are girls, midwives can be men, hours”especially happy hours and rush hours”can last longer than sixty minutes ..." and it goes on...and on... and on, can you think of anything that just doesn't quite work but you find yourself saying it anyway?