Comments welcome!

9 posts / 0 new

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Sat, 2005-11-26 11:59

Comments welcome!

Hello!

Am new to this site and glad to have found you. I'm impressed with what I've read so far so would value constructive comment on my work if anyone feels willing. I've posted three short pieces ... let me know what you think.

Thanks

Christine Ashby

Sat, 2005-11-26 12:51

tcook

And this is where you can find Christine's stories: http://www.abctales.com/user/47774/view

Sat, 2005-11-26 22:13

AlexeiOgorodov

Hey Christine, Iread your Frozen. An interesting reading, however, I would work more on the language. Sometimes it doesn't flow. If you need more detailed critique, let me know. Good luck, Alex ecuaruso@mail.ru

ecuaruso@mail.ru

Sat, 2005-11-26 22:36

(Reply to #3) #4

Ashbee

Thanks for taking the time to read Frozen. Much appreciated.

Sat, 2005-11-26 23:07

AlexeiOgorodov

No problem. Good luck. Alex ecuaruso@mail.ru

ecuaruso@mail.ru

Sun, 2005-11-27 10:06

camus

Hi Christine...welcome. I have read your stories and you have some great ideas in there, I think (from a readers point of view) that sometimes you tend to spell everything out too much by using too many words, it makes the story feel over explained and that is perhaps why the flow gets interrupted. I would try to explain what I mean further, but to be honest I don't know too much about critiquing prose. Reading other short stories on here may help, in particular a couple by Cardenio. I will find the links and post them. Hope this isn't too harsh as I did enjoy reading your stories. A.

Sun, 2005-11-27 10:08

camus

http://www.abctales.com/node/502666

Sun, 2005-11-27 10:10

camus

http://www.abctales.com/node/538504

Sun, 2005-11-27 10:24

Ashbee

Thanks, Camus. Will read the links you've provided - much appreciated. Thanks again.

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