The Roller Coaster Man

I actually quite like it. I thought the construct of using the second line from each verse as the first line in the next worked quite well. It is repetitive but I think that fits into the scenario of the poem. I'm no aficionado but I think you carried the sentiment over and it was a good effort!

I found it a little too repetative too, however I really liked the story in the poem and the idea behind it but I do agree that maybe the repition was a little too obvious. Maybe you could even change the lines a tiny bit when you repeate them to show that he is fighting the repetiveness of his job? It scans really well though and I enjoyed reading it! Intelligence and education that hasn't been tempered by human affection isn't worth a damn.

I'm no expert in poetry, I found it readable at first, but then distracted by repetitives so I had to keep going over bits. No flow. Hope that's not harsh, no offence is meant. nobody

"There truly is nothing more hilarious than the phrase “Hey, look I’m no expert, but I think…” madness, truly it is a sign of horror!" Maybe different people have different perceptions of what an *expert* is. Maybe I should have been more precise, what I meant was, personally I neither write poetry, making me maybe knowledgable on the subject, or judge poetry in major awards, making me somewhat of an expert, but as a reader I found...etc etc. nobody